Patience— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and direct: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details with clearer grammar and linking. Avoid vague phrasing like “controls their expressions” and unnecessary repetition.

Exemplo: Yes, I consider myself a patient person. As the eldest sister, I often listen to my younger siblings’ problems and help them calmly, which has taught me to stay composed and considerate of others’ feelings.

Sugestão: Clarify the main cause and give a concise, coherent explanation with linking words. Fix grammar (verb forms) and avoid confusing second sentence — focus on one clear reason and an example.

Exemplo: I feel impatient when someone tries to control me or force me to do things I dislike. For example, if a person insists I follow their plan, I quickly become frustrated because I prefer to express my own opinions.

Sugestão: Use a clear topic sentence and organize supporting details with linking words. Correct word choice (overstimulates → exhausted/bored) and avoid incomplete endings. Give a brief reason and an example of how you cope.

Exemplo: I get bored and lose focus when I have to do one task for a long time. Therefore, I usually take short breaks or switch to a different activity every 30–40 minutes to stay productive and motivated.

Sugestão: Answer directly and simply: state whether your role requires patience, then support with one specific reason or example. Fix grammar and remove redundant phrases; avoid contradicting yourself.

Exemplo: Not really, because I am a student rather than an employee. Although I attend classes every weekday, they do not require constant patience; however, long lectures can make me restless, so I try to take notes and participate to stay engaged.

Sugestão: Give a clear comparison: start with a direct statement (more/less/same), then explain briefly with specific reasons and a linking word. Fix tense and incomplete ending.

Exemplo: I am more patient now than I was as a child because I understand situations better and can control my reactions. For instance, I used to get upset quickly, but now I pause and think before responding.

× Yes, I am a very patient person because I am an elder sister which makes me the one who controls their expressions and learn about people more.

✓ Yes, I am a very patient person because I am an elder sister, which makes me the one who controls my siblings' expressions and learn about people more.

The original sentence uses 'their' incorrectly to refer to the speaker's siblings and mixes singular/plural reference. Use 'my siblings'' to show possession and clarity. Also add a comma before the nonrestrictive clause 'which'. Suggestion: Use specific possessive pronouns (my, our) when referring to things belonging to you; ensure clause punctuation is correct.

× Yes, I am a very patient person because I am an elder sister which makes me the one who controls their expressions and learn about people more.

✓ Yes, I am a very patient person because I am an elder sister, which makes me the one who controls my siblings' expressions and learn about people more.

The verb sequence 'controls ... and learn' mixes third-person singular 'controls' with base form 'learn'. Both verbs should match in form. Keep parallel structure by using 'and learn' as part of the same clause but ensure subject agreement: 'who controls ... and learns about people more' or keep 'which makes me the one who controls my siblings' expressions and who learns about people more.' Suggestion: Maintain parallel verb forms and subject agreement in coordinated verbs.

× I take care of people's feelings a lot.

✓ I take care of people's feelings a lot.

Sentence is grammatically correct; 'take' matches the first-person subject. No correction needed. (Included for completeness.)

× One thing that makes me feel impatient is when someone tries to dominate over me or try to control me over doing things that I don't like.

✓ One thing that makes me feel impatient is when someone tries to dominate me or tries to control me into doing things that I don't like.

The original mixes 'tries' and 'try' and uses 'dominate over' and 'control me over doing' which are unnatural. Use consistent third-person singular 'tries' and natural collocations: 'dominate me' and 'control me into doing'. Suggestion: Use consistent verb forms and common prepositional patterns for verbs.

× Or often if enough I like that thing, I tend to do it a lot less because I like being myself and expressing myself.

✓ Often, if I don't really like something, I tend to do it much less because I like being myself and expressing myself.

Original sentence has unclear structure 'if enough I like that thing' and mismatched tense/meaning. Rephrase for clarity and keep subject-verb agreement; 'I tend' is fine. Use 'much less' for emphasis. Suggestion: Keep conditional clauses clear: 'if I don't like something' and avoid awkward word order.

× It overstimulates me when I have to do something for a long time.

✓ It overstimulates me when I have to do something for a long time.

This sentence is correct; pronoun 'it' refers to the activity in context. No correction needed. (Included for completeness.)

× It also breaks my focus and bores me a lot because I am not a one sitting person.

✓ It also breaks my focus and bores me a lot because I'm not someone who can sit still for long periods.

Phrase 'a one sitting person' is unidiomatic. Rephrase to a natural expression 'someone who can sit still for long periods.' Maintain contractions or full form consistently. Suggestion: Use idiomatic expressions and clearer descriptions for ability or habit.

× And that is a good thing too because I like to move and do activities so it's like.

✓ That is a good thing because I like to move and do activities, so I feel more comfortable when I am active.

Sentence ends abruptly with 'so it's like' and lacks a main clause. Provide a clear completion that explains the idea. Suggestion: Avoid trailing phrases; complete the thought with a clear result clause.

× As I'm not doing a job but I'm still a student who have classes every day from Monday to Friday so I have to stick along with them and it really makes me restless because it I really lose focus if I stay for a long time and that's why I don't like.

✓ I'm not working; I'm still a student who has classes every day from Monday to Friday, so I have to attend them and that makes me restless because I really lose focus if I stay for a long time, and that's why I don't like it.

Errors include 'who have' (subject-verb agreement), awkward phrasing 'stick along with them', extra word 'it', and sentence fragments. Use 'have' -> 'has' since 'student' is singular and 'attend them' is more natural than 'stick along with them'. Finish the final clause with 'I don't like it.' Suggestion: Break long sentences into clearer clauses, ensure subject-verb agreement, and use natural verbs for attendance.

× If I see in the past when I was a child, uh, I don't think that I am as patient as I used to be because I never knew what was happening around me.

✓ Looking back to when I was a child, I don't think I was as patient as I am now because I didn't understand what was happening around me.

Tense inconsistency: speaker mixes past and present incorrectly ('I don't think that I am as patient as I used to be'). Use past tense 'was' for childhood and 'didn't understand'. Also rephrase 'as patient as I am now' for clarity. Suggestion: Match past events with past tense and contrast with present using present tense for current state.

× I was zoned out a person.

✓ I used to be a zoned-out person.

Original word order is incorrect and 'zoned out' needs hyphenation when used as an adjective phrase. 'Used to be' better expresses past habitual state. Suggestion: Use 'used to' for past habits and hyphenate compound adjectives like 'zoned-out' when placed before a noun.

× But now that I have grown up, I understand things a lot and now I am.

✓ But now that I have grown up, I understand things a lot more, and now I am more patient.

Sentence ends abruptly with 'now I am.' Complete thought needed; use comparative 'a lot more' and specify the state 'more patient'. Maintain present perfect 'have grown up' correctly. Suggestion: Always finish sentences with a clear predicate; when comparing present and past, use 'more' or 'much more' to show change.