Hobby— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence stating your hobby, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Fix grammar and word choice (e.g., "I have several hobbies; one is fishing."). Avoid repetition and long awkward phrases.

Exemplo: I have several hobbies, and one of them is fishing. I enjoy fishing because it helps me relax and improve my focus; for example, the quiet time by the water reduces my stress and clears my mind.

Sugestão: Reduce hesitations and repeatitions. Give a direct topic sentence, then add specific details with linking words. Use past tense consistently and correct subject-verb forms. Replace fillers like 'uh' with brief pauses.

Exemplo: Yes, when I was a child I enjoyed riding my bike. I often rode with friends and we sometimes held small races in the park, which was exciting and helped me stay active.

Sugestão: Clarify your idea and use correct tense and phrasing. If you mean studying abroad is a long-term goal, say so clearly. Use linking words and correct vocabulary ("IELTS" not "aisles"). Keep to one or two sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I have wanted to study abroad since childhood. For example, I am now preparing for the IELTS exam because I plan to apply to universities overseas next year.

Sugestão: Use clearer vocabulary and correct grammar. Say 'family members' not 'feminine members', and ensure subject-verb agreement. Provide a brief reason or example using linking words to enrich the answer.

Exemplo: No, my family members and I do different activities. For instance, my parents enjoy gardening while I prefer fishing, so our hobbies don't overlap much.

× Yes, I have more hobbies, one of them is fishing.

✓ Yes, I have several hobbies; one of them is fishing.

The phrase 'more hobbies' is awkward here; 'more' is comparative and needs a reference. Use 'several' or 'many' for plural countable nouns. Also add a semicolon or conjunction to separate clauses for clarity.

× When I go fishing I feel lonely and increase my focus, improve my mental health at fishing.

✓ When I go fishing, I feel less lonely, my focus increases, and my mental health improves when fishing.

Parallel verbs need consistent forms. 'Increase my focus' and 'improve my mental health' should be rephrased to match subject and tense. Use 'my focus increases' and 'my mental health improves' or use gerunds consistently. Also insert commas for clarity.

× Yes, I had, uh, I had a hobby that, uh, riding a bike, riding a bike is very, very interesting for me.

✓ Yes, I had a hobby: riding a bike. Riding a bike was very interesting for me.

Mixing past simple with a gerund phrase requires punctuation and correct verb form. Use a colon to introduce the hobby and change 'is' to 'was' to match past timeframe.

× Uh, in my childhood, me and my friends, uh, ride bike together and uh, major races.

✓ In my childhood, my friends and I rode bikes together and participated in major races.

Use correct subject order 'my friends and I' and past tense 'rode'. 'Ride bike' needs plural 'bikes'. 'Major races' requires a verb like 'participated in' to complete the clause.

× Yes I had have I had having a hobby since my childhood and it it is study in abroad and now I'm preparing for aisles to take aisles certificate and study in abroad.

✓ Yes, I have had a hobby since my childhood: studying abroad. I am now preparing for IELTS to obtain the IELTS certificate and study abroad.

Original mixes tenses and incorrect verb forms. Use present perfect 'have had' for a hobby continuing from childhood. 'Study in abroad' is incorrect; use 'studying abroad'. 'Aisles' is a misspelling of 'IELTS'. Use 'obtain the IELTS certificate' for clarity.

× No, my feminine members have different hobbies and uh, our hobbies is not similar.

✓ No, the female members of my family have different hobbies, and our hobbies are not similar.

'Feminine members' is incorrect; use 'female members of my family'. Also correct subject-verb agreement: 'our hobbies are'. Rearranged for natural phrasing.