Walking— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Reduce hesitation and correct basic vocabulary errors; start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two concise supporting details with linking words. Avoid repetition and fillers (umm). Use 'walk a lot' forms correctly (e.g., 'I don't walk much').

Exemplo: No, I don't walk much because I spend most of the day studying at my desk. However, I make a point of walking on a treadmill for about 30 minutes every day to stay active.

Sugestão: Use past tense consistently and reduce hesitations. Begin with a clear past-tense topic sentence, then give specific supporting details with linking words like 'because' and 'for example'. Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I went outside very often as a child because I had little schoolwork. For example, my mother used to take me to the community playground where I played on the seesaw and slides and ran around a lot.

Sugestão: Be more precise and avoid vague phrases. Use logical linking words and give clearer reasons (relaxation, scenery, exercise). Correct unclear expressions (e.g., 'green crosses' → 'greenery' or 'green spaces').

Exemplo: People like to walk in parks because they are relaxing and scenic. For example, you can watch children playing or adults exercising, and the greenery and open space help you feel calmer and rest your eyes.

Sugestão: Make sentences more concise and use correct conditional tense. Start with a direct statement ('I'd like to climb a mountain') then give one specific reason and an example. Avoid repeating phrases like 'I think'.

Exemplo: I'd like to climb a mountain because it would improve my stamina and allow me to enjoy a full day of outdoor activity. For instance, hiking a nearby peak would challenge me physically and offer great views.

Sugestão: Use past simple clearly and avoid filler words. Begin with a direct answer (e.g., 'I went to the park yesterday'), then add 1–2 specific details with linking words like 'because' and 'while'.

Exemplo: I went to the park in my neighborhood yesterday because my younger sister wanted to play on the seesaw. While she played with some friends, I walked around the park for about 30 minutes to wait for her.

× I don't think that I work a lot because I use most of my time umm, in the day to study and so I usually sit down on my table to study.

✓ I don't think that I walk a lot because I use most of my time during the day to study, so I usually sit at my desk to study.

The student used 'work' incorrectly instead of 'walk' (word choice) and 'in the day' is non-idiomatic; 'during the day' is correct. Also 'sit down on my table' is incorrect preposition and noun choice; use 'sit at my desk'. These are present tense descriptions and need correct present-tense verbs and idiomatic prepositional phrases. Suggestion: use 'walk' for physical movement, 'during the day' for time period, and 'sit at my desk' for studying location.

× So I very umm, I think I walk very less every day, but I usually force myself to umm, exercise for like 30 minutes a day to walk on the machine to walk.

✓ So, I think I walk very little every day, but I usually force myself to exercise for about 30 minutes a day on the treadmill.

'Walk very less' is ungrammatical; use 'walk very little' (adverb usage) or 'don't walk much'. Repetition 'to walk on the machine to walk' is redundant. 'Treadmill' is the correct noun for the exercise machine. Use 'about' for approximation. Suggestion: say 'walk very little' or 'don't walk much' and avoid redundant phrases.

× Umm, well, I think I really, I go out very often when I was child because usually, uh, when I was child, I don't know, have any things to study.

✓ Well, I went out very often when I was a child because usually, when I was a child, I didn't have much to study.

The clause describes past habits, so use past tense 'went' not present 'go'. 'When I was child' is missing the article 'a child'. 'I don't know, have any things to study' mixes present tense and incorrect noun phrase; correct to 'I didn't have much to study' or 'I didn't have anything to study.' Suggestion: use past tense consistently for past situations and include articles.

× So my mum will, you will bring me to the playground in our, umm, community to play some umm, seesaw or slide.

✓ So my mum would bring me to the playground in our community to play on the seesaw or the slide.

The sentence switches from 'my mum will' to 'you will' which is incorrect person reference. Use consistent subject 'my mum' and conditional/past 'would bring' for habitual past. Also preposition 'play on the seesaw' and article use 'the seesaw'/'the slide' are needed. Suggestion: keep subject consistent and use correct verbs and prepositions.

× Then I think that I will run all, all the places and I think that would cause me to walk a lot.

✓ Then I would run everywhere, and I think that made me walk a lot.

Mixes future/modal forms with past narrative. For past habit use 'would run' or 'I ran everywhere' and 'made me walk a lot' for result. 'All, all the places' is non-idiomatic; use 'everywhere'. Suggestion: maintain past tense and use concise phrasing.

× I think the people would like to walk in parks because there are many things to see.

✓ I think people like to walk in parks because there are many things to see.

'The people' is unnecessary; use general 'people'. Also 'would like' implies conditional; simple present 'like' is appropriate for general reasons. Suggestion: use 'people like' for general statements.

× For example, like maybe there's a lot of kids playing in the playground or even some adults playing basketball in the basketball court.

✓ For example, there are often many kids playing in the playground or even some adults playing basketball on the basketball court.

Use 'in' vs 'on' appropriately: people play 'in the playground' is acceptable, but play basketball 'on the court' is correct. 'A lot of kids' is informal; 'many kids' or 'a lot of children'. Suggestion: use 'on the court' and prefer 'children' or 'kids' consistently.

× Or there are also grass around and it can help us to get our eyesight better for the green crosses.

✓ There is also grass around, and it can help our eyesight because of the green colours.

'Grass' is uncountable and takes 'is' not 'are'. 'Get our eyesight better' is unidiomatic; use 'help our eyesight'. 'Green crosses' is unclear; likely 'green colours' or 'greenery'. Suggestion: use 'there is grass' and 'help our eyesight' and clarify 'greenery' or 'green colours'.

× If I have the chance, I would think that I would like to climb a mountain because I think that could help me to increase my stamina and umm, let me to be able to get in the outdoors activities for like a day or something.

✓ If I had the chance, I would like to climb a mountain because I think it could help me increase my stamina and enable me to take part in outdoor activities for a day or so.

The conditional requires 'If I had the chance' (second conditional) with 'would' in the result clause. 'Let me to be able to get in the outdoors activities' is ungrammatical; use 'enable me to take part in outdoor activities'. 'Outdoors activities' should be 'outdoor activities'. Suggestion: use correct conditional structure and concise verbs like 'enable' and 'take part in'.

× So I think that and I really love climbing. So I think that mountain climbing is one of the choices that I could take.

✓ I really love climbing, so I think mountain climbing would be one option for me.

'One of the choices that I could take' is awkward; use 'one option for me' or 'one of my choices'. Maintain tense and concise structure. Suggestion: prefer 'would be one option' in hypothetical context.

× For a walk lately umm I went to the park in my county UMM yesterday because my younger sister wanted to play the seesaw and I brought her to the place.

✓ Recently I went to the park in my county yesterday because my younger sister wanted to play on the seesaw, so I took her there.

The sentence has redundancy and awkward phrasing 'for a walk lately'. Use 'Recently' or 'Lately' as adverb. 'Play the seesaw' should be 'play on the seesaw' and 'brought her to the place' is better as 'took her there'. Suggestion: use 'recently' and idiomatic verbs like 'took her there'.

× She also umm met a few of her friends umm in our community and they played together and I also umm walk for about like 30 minutes in the playground to wait for her.

✓ She also met a few of her friends in our community and they played together, and I also walked for about 30 minutes in the playground while waiting for her.

Describing past events requires past tense 'walked' not present 'walk'. 'For about like' is redundant; use 'for about 30 minutes'. Use 'while waiting for her' for purpose. Suggestion: use past tense consistently and avoid redundant words like 'like' with 'about'.