Walking— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Good content and clear topic sentence. To improve, make the response slightly more concise (max 3–4 sentences), avoid repeating similar ideas (e.g., ‘maintain my weight’ and ‘boost my metabolism’ are related), and use more varied vocabulary and a linking word for flow.

Exemplo: Yes, I walk about 30 minutes outdoors every day because it helps me stay fit and relax. For example, the fresh air and changing scenery reduce my stress and improve my mood, so I try to walk after dinner most days.

Sugestão: Nice personal detail and examples. To improve, correct minor grammar issues (e.g., ‘we have’ → ‘we had’, ‘get to a breath’ → ‘get a breath’), use linking words for coherence, and avoid repeating ‘love’. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I often did. I grew up in the province so we had many hiking trails and farms, and my family and friends would walk together after school. I enjoyed these walks because they gave me fresh air and beautiful views of rivers and hills.

Sugestão: The idea is fine but answer is incomplete and has grammar errors (‘inter gymnasium’, ‘you people also get’). Improve by finishing the thought, using clearer vocabulary (e.g., ‘indoors’), and adding a linking word. Keep it concise and specific.

Exemplo: People like walking in parks because they offer open space and fresh air, unlike enclosed gyms. Moreover, parks have varied scenery and seating areas, which makes walking more relaxing and social.

Sugestão: Good attempt but answer is repetitive and unfinished, with awkward phrase ‘hike in the waterfalls’ and unsupported claim about ‘lots of wild animals’. Improve by choosing precise phrases (e.g., ‘hike to a waterfall’), giving one clear reason, and completing the sentence. Use linking words and avoid exaggeration.

Exemplo: If I had the chance, I would hike to a waterfall because the scenery would be both peaceful and exciting. Also, the rough terrain would be a good workout and I could take great photos of nature.

Sugestão: Clear and relevant answer. Improve grammar (e.g., ‘I had a walk’ → ‘I went for a walk’, ‘animals... I witnessed there helps’ → ‘animals I saw there helped’), use a linking word, and make one specific detail (name a type of animal or garden feature).

Exemplo: Last weekend I went for a walk in the school park. It was quiet with several flower beds and koi ponds, and seeing the birds and butterflies helped me relax and prepare for the week ahead.

× Yes, I usually spend about 30 minutes walking outdoors every day.

✓ Yes, I usually spend about 30 minutes walking outdoors every day.

No correction needed; present simple is correct for habitual action. Keep as is.

× Walking is beneficial to my health because it helps maintain my weight and boost my metabolism, and I also enjoy it because I can see different scenery and feel more relaxed.

✓ Walking is beneficial to my health because it helps maintain my weight and boosts my metabolism, and I also enjoy it because I can see different scenery and feel more relaxed.

Parallel verb forms and subject-verb agreement: 'helps' pairs with 'boosts' to match third person singular subject 'it'. Use 'boosts' not 'boost'.

× I usually walk with my friends or family members and we usually do it after school.

✓ I often walked with my friends or family members and we usually did it after school.

Tense consistency: the question asks about childhood (past). Use past simple 'walked' and 'did' instead of present. Also avoid repeating 'usually'; use 'often' for variation.

× I love walking because I get to a breath of fresh air and also I love to see the beautiful sceneries like the rivers.

✓ I love walking because I get a breath of fresh air and I also love to see beautiful scenery such as rivers.

Article and noun form: say 'a breath of fresh air' (idiom) not 'to a breath'. 'Scenery' is an uncountable noun, so use 'beautiful scenery' not 'the beautiful sceneries'. Use 'such as' or 'like' with examples.

× I think people like to walk in parks because it's an open space so they have the freedom to roam around, explore different views and sceneries rather than being confined in one area just like inter gymnasium.

✓ I think people like to walk in parks because they're open spaces, so people have the freedom to roam around and explore different views and scenery rather than being confined to one area like an indoor gymnasium.

Plural agreement: 'parks' correspond to 'open spaces' and 'they' can be 'people' for clarity. Use 'scenery' (uncountable). Use 'confined to' not 'confined in'. Correct 'inter gymnasium' to 'indoor gymnasium'.

× Aside from that you people also get.

✓ Aside from that, people also get fresh air and exercise.

Original sentence is incomplete and unclear. Provide the missing object(s) to complete the idea: 'get fresh air and exercise'.

× If given a chance, I would like to hike in the waterfalls.

✓ If given a chance, I would like to hike to the waterfalls.

Preposition use: 'hike to the waterfalls' is appropriate when going to a location. 'Hike in the waterfalls' suggests being inside falling water and is odd. This fixes verb+preposition collocation.

× It is not only physically challenging, but it's also an adventure because you will be meeting lots of wild animals along the way.

✓ It is not only physically challenging, but it's also an adventure because you may meet lots of wild animals along the way.

Modal verb and tense: Keep conditional/modal consistent with hypothetical desire—use 'may meet' or 'might meet' instead of 'will be meeting', which is too definite for a hypothetical plan.

× Aside from that, I love also hiking in the waterfalls because I will not only exercise my body but.

✓ Aside from that, I also love hiking near waterfalls because I will not only exercise my body but also refresh my mind.

Sentence was incomplete and used awkward word order. Use 'I also love hiking near waterfalls' and complete the second clause with a parallel structure 'not only... but also...' providing a clear second benefit.

× Last weekend I had a walk in the school park.

✓ Last weekend I took a walk in the school park.

Collocation: native speakers say 'took a walk' or 'went for a walk' rather than 'had a walk'. Use simple past 'took' for completed action.

× The park is quiet and peaceful and there are a lot of beautiful gardens along the way.

✓ The park was quiet and peaceful and there were a lot of beautiful gardens along the way.

Tense consistency: since describing a past event ('last weekend'), use past tense 'was' and 'were' instead of present 'is' and 'are'. 'A lot of' is acceptable.

× I really enjoyed my walk and the animals in the gardens I witnessed there helps me entertain and get ready for the week ahead.

✓ I really enjoyed my walk, and the animals in the gardens I saw there helped entertain me and helped me get ready for the week ahead.

Verb tense and agreement: maintain past tense for past event: 'saw' not 'witnessed' (both acceptable, but 'saw' is natural). Subject-verb agreement: 'animals... helped' (plural match). Also correct word order: 'helped entertain me and helped me get ready' for clarity.