Walking— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and correct small grammar issues; avoid filler words like 'Uh' and reduce redundancy. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Also correct 'takes for about' to 'takes about'.

Exemplo: No, I don't walk much because I usually cycle to school. For example, my bike ride takes about ten minutes each day, so I rarely need to walk.

Sugestão: Clarify meaning and correct vocabulary errors ('went out for work' is incorrect) and tense consistency. Start with a direct response, then give a concise reason and one specific example or brief detail. Use linking words like 'however' to contrast past and present.

Exemplo: Not really. When I was a child I rarely went out alone because I lived in a high apartment building and my parents were strict. However, as I grew older I began to enjoy solitary walks because they help me relax and clear my mind.

Sugestão: Fix grammar and word choice ('walking impacts' is wrong) and avoid vague expressions. Give a clear main idea, then two specific supporting reasons with linking words. Use precise collocations like 'good for' and 'in groups' instead of 'in packs'.

Exemplo: People like to walk in parks because it is good for both physical and mental health. For example, the fresh air and greenery help reduce stress, and walking in groups provides social interaction after a busy day.

Sugestão: Be more fluent and correct grammar: use conditionals smoothly and plural/singular forms correctly ('in the mountains' or 'in less populated areas'). Keep the answer within 3–4 sentences and use linking phrase 'because' once with concise reasons and a short example.

Exemplo: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk in a large urban park like Central Park in New York, because I grew up in a big city and feel more comfortable in well-maintained, safe places. I prefer that to hiking in the mountains or in sparsely populated areas.

Sugestão: Good structure and detail; fix small errors like 'a 30 minutes walk' → 'a 30-minute walk'. Remove unnecessary phrasing and keep it concise. Use linking words like 'so' appropriately.

Exemplo: About two weeks ago I took a 30-minute walk around the school's athletic track because I needed exercise. The weather was cool and the surroundings were peaceful, so it felt refreshing.

× Every day I ride my bike to school, which only takes for about 10 minutes.

✓ Every day I ride my bike to school, which only takes about 10 minutes.

The phrase 'takes for about' is incorrect; 'take' when referring to duration is followed directly by the time expression (e.g., 'takes about 10 minutes'). Remove the unnecessary preposition 'for'. Use 'takes about 10 minutes.'

× When I was a child, I really went out for work because I live in a very tall apartment building and my parents didn't let me go out by myself.

✓ When I was a child, I rarely went out because I lived in a very tall apartment building and my parents didn't let me go out by myself.

The original uses 'really went out for work' which is awkward and conflicts with the intended meaning. Also tense consistency: refer to past habits with past tense verbs. Replace 'really went out for work' with 'rarely went out' and change 'live' to past 'lived' to keep past-time reference consistent.

× But as I grew up I started to enjoy walking alone because it helps me relax and clear my mind.

✓ But as I grew up I started to enjoy walking alone because it helped me relax and clear my mind.

The clause 'as I grew up I started' is past; the result clause should use past tense ('helped') to maintain tense consistency when describing a past change in habit. Using present 'helps' mixes time frames.

× I think walking impacts is good not only for physical health and also for mental health.

✓ I think walking is good not only for physical health but also for mental health.

The phrase 'walking impacts is good' is ungrammatical. Remove 'impacts' and use correct parallel structure 'not only... but also...' Ensure 'walking is good' is the main clause. This fixes article and structural errors.

× So many people go for walks in packs to unwind after a busy day.

✓ Many people go for walks in groups to unwind after a busy day.

'In packs' is unnatural for people; use 'in groups' or 'together'. Also 'so many' suggests surprise; 'many' is more neutral and appropriate in this context.

× Well if I had a chance I'd like to take a long walk in the large urban park such as Central Park in New York because I grew up in a big city so I feel more comfortable in well maintained safety places rather than walking in mountain or less people.

✓ Well, if I had the chance I'd like to take a long walk in a large urban park such as Central Park in New York because I grew up in a big city, so I feel more comfortable in well-maintained, safe places rather than walking in the mountains or where there are fewer people.

Multiple article and noun-number errors: use 'the chance' (set phrase), 'a large urban park' (general), add commas for clarity. 'Well-maintained, safe places' corrects adjective order and word choice. 'Walking in mountain' should be plural 'the mountains' or 'in the mountains'. 'Less people' is incorrect; use 'fewer people' or 'where there are fewer people.' Maintain parallel structure and correct articles.

× About two weeks ago, I felt I needed some exercise, so I took a 30 minutes walk around the school's athletic track.

✓ About two weeks ago, I felt I needed some exercise, so I took a 30-minute walk around the school's athletic track.

Use the adjectival form '30-minute' with hyphen when it modifies 'walk'. Also 'took a 30 minutes walk' is ungrammatical; use singular 'minute' in the compound adjective. Tense is fine.

× It was refreshing because the weather was cool and the surroundings were very peaceful.

✓ It was refreshing because the weather was cool and the surroundings were very peaceful.

This sentence is correct; no preposition error. Included here to show it meets the allowed correction list, but no change is necessary.