Walking— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: 문장이 자연스럽지 않고 시제와 문법 오류가 있습니다. 예: 'I have no enough time'는 틀리고, 'I take a walk. I took a walk.'처럼 중복되며 어색합니다. 개선을 위해 간단한 주제문을 먼저 말하고, 연결사(beacuse, so, for example)를 사용해 이유나 예를 명확히 제시하세요. 또한 시제 일관성을 유지하세요.

Exemplo: Yes, I try to walk every day. For example, I didn’t have much time yesterday, but I walked home from my academy, so I still managed to get some exercise.

Sugestão: 응답이 어색하고 불명확한 표현이 많습니다('not work, not work but learning' 등). 질문에 직접 답한 후, 구체적이고 일관된 예를 들고 연결어를 사용하세요. 동사의 형태와 어순을 고치고 게임 이름은 명확히 하세요.

Exemplo: Yes. As a child I often went outside to play with my friends after school. For example, we played games like 'police and thief', which involved a lot of running and walking around the neighborhood.

Sugestão: 좋은 아이디어를 제시했지만 문장이 길고 문법적 오류가 있습니다('spend their most of their time', 'it's because of this'). 더 간결한 주제문을 사용하고 이유를 두세 개의 구체적이고 명확한 문장으로 나누세요. 연결어(for example, because, in addition)를 자연스럽게 쓰세요.

Exemplo: People like walking in parks because they spend most of their day sitting at work. Walking in a park helps to refresh the mind and reduce stress. In addition, the fresh air and greenery make the experience more pleasant.

Sugestão: 의도는 분명하지만 문법과 어휘 선택이 부정확합니다('I never been there', 'I heard hang on'). 장소 선택 이유를 더 구체적으로 말하고, 문장 연결을 자연스럽게 하세요. 또한 발음 비슷한 단어를 정확히 표기하세요 ('Han River').

Exemplo: I'd like to take a long walk along the Han River in Seoul because I have never been there. I’ve heard the riverside is very wide and scenic, so it would be relaxing and interesting to explore.

Sugestão: 장소를 잘 말했지만 반복과 어색한 표현('It is patience')이 있습니다. 장소 이름을 정확히 발음/표기하고, 한두 문장으로 구조화해 이유(예: size, facilities)를 덧붙이세요. 반복을 피하고 형용사를 정확히 사용하세요.

Exemplo: I live near Busan Station, and behind the station there is a park called Chinsu Park which is close to my home. I often go there for walks with my family because it is spacious and peaceful.

× For example, yesterday I have no enough time to walk.

✓ For example, yesterday I did not have enough time to walk.

This sentence uses present perfect structure incorrectly with a specific past time expression 'yesterday'. Use simple past: 'did not have'. Also 'no enough' is incorrect word order; use 'not enough'. Provide clear suggestion: use 'I did not have enough time' for past events.

× So I uh, from Academy to my home, I take a walk.

✓ So I walked from the academy to my home.

The original mixes tenses and has incorrect word order. The context is past (yesterday), so use simple past 'walked'. Also prepositional phrase should follow verb: 'walked from the academy to my home'. Use lowercase for common nouns and remove filler 'uh'.

× I took a walk.

✓ I walked.

While 'I took a walk' is grammatically acceptable, repeating past-tense idea twice is redundant. Prefer concise 'I walked'. Maintain past tense consistency.

× Yes actually not work, not work but learning with my friends after school and I enjoy some play games that are required to learning or walking like police and thief.

✓ Yes. I didn't work; instead I studied with my friends after school, and we enjoyed playing games that involved learning or walking, like 'police and thief'.

Multiple issues: incorrect tense 'not work' should be 'didn't work' (simple past). 'Learning' should be 'studied'. 'Enjoy some play games' incorrect; use 'enjoyed playing games'. 'Required to learning' incorrect phrase; use 'involved learning'. Clarify game name and use plural 'thieves' or quote game title. Maintain past tense for childhood activities.

× In my opinion, people know that they spend their most of their time sitting either working or checking on other documents on a computer.

✓ In my opinion, people know that they spend most of their time sitting, either working or checking documents on a computer.

Remove extra 'their' after 'most of'. 'Checking on other documents' should be 'checking documents' or 'going through documents'. Add a comma before 'either' for clarity.

× It's because of this walking in a park is makes people refresh their minds and relieve stress in addition.

✓ Because of this, walking in a park makes people feel refreshed and relieves stress.

Original has redundant and incorrect phrasing 'It's because of this' plus 'is makes'. Use single verb 'makes' and correct collocation 'feel refreshed' and 'relieves stress'. Place 'because of this' at start or rephrase more naturally.

× I'd like to take a long walk or along the Han River in Seoul.

✓ I'd like to take a long walk along the Han River in Seoul.

Redundant 'or' is incorrect. 'I'd like' expresses conditional/future desire - keep present conditional. Remove 'or' and ensure correct preposition 'along'.

× I never been there so I just want to try and I heard hang on is so much big and it.

✓ I have never been there, so I want to try. I heard the Han River is very large.

'I never been' lacks auxiliary; use present perfect 'I have never been' for life experience. 'Just want to try' fine but keep concise. 'I heard hang on' mishearing of 'Han River' and 'so much big' is incorrect; use 'very large' or 'very big'.

× Actually I live near the Busan station. There is behind the station there is a a park named Chinsu Fukun Chinsu which is close to my home.

✓ Actually, I live near Busan Station. Behind the station, there is a park named Chinsu Fukun Chinsu which is close to my home.

Use proper noun capitalization 'Busan Station' and remove redundant 'There is' repetition. Insert comma after introductory 'Actually' and after location phrase. Remove duplicate 'a'.

× I often I often go there to go for a walk with my family.

✓ I often go there for a walk with my family.

Duplicate 'I often' is redundant. Remove repetition and simplify 'go there for a walk'. Maintain present simple for habitual action.

× It is patience and so big.

✓ It is peaceful and very big.

'Patience' is a noun and incorrect here; likely meant 'peaceful'. Use adjective 'peaceful'. 'So big' is colloquial; 'very big' is more natural. Choose appropriate adjective to describe a park's atmosphere.