Building— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid repetition and hesitations, and keep within 3–4 sentences. Also correct small grammar issues (e.g., “the city center,” “five minutes from my house,” “the topmost floor,” and avoid trailing fragments like “for 2”).

Exemplo: There are several tall buildings near my home. For example, the city center is only five minutes away and contains many shops and a cinema on the topmost floor called QFX. I often go there to shop or watch films because it is very convenient.

Sugestão: Provide a clear direct answer then support with one specific example and avoid filler words. Fix grammar (e.g., “I love taking pictures of buildings. One of the best photos I’ve taken is of my college,” “a 10-minute walk from my home,” and explain briefly why it is special). Keep the response to 2–4 sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I enjoy photographing buildings. One of my best photos is of Southwestern State College, which is a 10-minute walk from my home; I like it because of its old stone façade and the warm light at sunset, which made the picture stand out.

Sugestão: Answer directly and give concise, clear supporting details with correct tense and numbers. Use linking words (for example, “because” or “so”) to explain why you want to visit. Correct grammar (e.g., “It collapsed in the 2015 earthquake and was rebuilt,” “a 99-story building”). Limit to 2–3 sentences.

Exemplo: I would like to visit Darada. It’s a 99-story building that collapsed in the 2015 earthquake and has since been rebuilt, so I’m curious to see the restored architecture and modern safety features.

× Yes, definitely.

✓ Yes, definitely.

No grammatical error detected; sentence is fine as a short affirmative response.

× There are a lot of tall buildings.

✓ There are a lot of tall buildings.

This sentence is grammatically correct: plural subject with appropriate verb and quantifier.

× One of them is city center, which is located near my house that's 5 minutes away from my house.

✓ One of them is the city center, which is located five minutes from my house.

Article error (22) and redundancy/word choice. 'City center' as a specific place requires the definite article 'the'. 'That's 5 minutes away from my house' is redundant after 'located'; use 'five minutes from my house' for clarity and write numbers in words in formal speech.

× And there are a lot of shopping centers over there, uh, cosmetic stores and umm, and on the upper top most floor there is uh, QFX.

✓ There are a lot of shopping centers there, including cosmetic stores, and on the top floor there is QFX.

Multiple issues: unnecessary filler words removed, preposition choice improved ('over there' to 'there'), adjective order/word choice simplified ('upper top most' is incorrect — use 'top floor'). These corrections fall under incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs (13) and incorrect use of prepositions (11).

× It's a cinema hall over there.

✓ It's a cinema there.

Word choice: 'cinema hall' is redundant; 'cinema' or 'cinema hall' is acceptable but 'cinema' is more natural. Preposition 'over there' simplified to 'there' for conciseness.

× I went yesterday over there for 2.

✓ I went there yesterday with two friends.

Sentence structure error (26) and missing information. 'For 2' is unclear; likely intended 'with two people' or 'for two hours'. Clarify to 'with two friends' or specify time. Also place adverb 'yesterday' in natural position.

× Yes, I love taking pictures of buildings are, uh, one of the best picture I've ever clicked, uh, of any building is of my college.

✓ Yes, I love taking pictures of buildings. One of the best pictures I've ever taken is of my college.

Multiple errors: sentence run-on and incorrect clause linking (26). 'Pictures' plural required (1). 'Picture I've ever clicked' uses wrong verb (13/9) — 'take' is the correct verb and past participle 'taken' is needed (9). Split into two sentences for clarity.

× It's Southwestern State College.

✓ It's Southwestern State College.

No grammatical error.

× It's, umm, also 10 minutes walk from my home and uh, uh, there I studied my +2.

✓ It's also a ten-minute walk from my home, and I studied my +2 there.

Hyphenation and article use: 'ten-minute walk' requires hyphens and an article (22). Word order improved for clarity (26). Move 'there' after 'studied my +2' for natural placement.

× I, uh, completed my +2 from there and yeah.

✓ I completed my +2 there.

Remove fillers and use natural verb phrase 'completed my +2 there'. 'From there' is unnecessary after 'completed' when location 'there' suffices. Keep concise.

× I think maybe Darada, it's a, it's a very old building, but due to the recent earthquake of 2015, it was collapsed and it's again rebuilt and it's very tall.

✓ I think Darada is a very old building, but it collapsed in the 2015 earthquake and has been rebuilt; now it is very tall.

Tense and passive issues: 'it was collapsed' is incorrect (21/5) — 'it collapsed' (active past) or 'was destroyed' is correct. For rebuilding, present perfect passive 'has been rebuilt' (9/7) is appropriate to link past event to present state. Also remove redundant 'it's a, it's a' (26).

× It's 99 story building and yeah, it's beautiful and I would love to visit that place very soon.

✓ It's a 99-story building, and it's beautiful; I would love to visit it very soon.

Article and hyphenation errors (22, 18): 'a 99-story building' needs the indefinite article and a hyphen for the compound adjective. Replace 'that place' with 'it' for cohesion and remove filler 'and yeah' to be more formal.