Travelling— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence. Use correct grammar and simpler vocabulary, avoid repetition, and add one or two specific details linked logically. Keep it under five sentences.

Exemplo: Yes. I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because it helps me notice the local plants and animals. For example, on a recent trip I saw farmland and a flock of birds, which made the journey interesting and helped me learn about the area.

Sugestão: Start with a clear, direct answer then give one or two specific reasons or an example. Use correct verb forms and clearer linking words (for example, because, so, and). Avoid vague phrases and unnecessary words.

Exemplo: Yes, I often take photos through the car window because green landscapes and animals look beautiful. For example, last month I photographed deer near a roadside forest; looking at the pictures brings back happy memories, so I share them with my family.

Sugestão: Answer directly and avoid filler words. State your preference clearly, give a brief reason and a contrasting point about the other option. Use varied but accurate vocabulary (e.g., peaceful, relaxing, thrilling) and keep it to two or three sentences.

Exemplo: I prefer the sea because it feels peaceful and helps me relax; the sound of waves calms me. However, I also enjoy mountains sometimes for the thrill of hiking and the beautiful views.

× Apart from producing joyful and vibrant atmosphere when we use the when we watch the this window when we are traveling with boss, we can learn lots of things and we can raise our information about their vegetation, their geographical location and also their animals.

✓ Apart from producing a joyful and vibrant atmosphere when we look out of the window while traveling by bus, we can learn a lot about the vegetation, geographical location, and animals.

The sentence misuses articles and demonstratives ('the this window', 'with boss') and has awkward phrasing. Use 'a' before singular, countable nouns like 'joyful and vibrant atmosphere'. Replace redundant words and correct 'traveling by bus' and 'look out of the window'. Use 'a lot about' instead of 'raise our information about'. Ensure plural nouns match context and remove 'their' which is unclear.

× So it's really important for me to watch the windows and I.

✓ So it's really important for me to look out of the window.

The original is incomplete and has incorrect plural 'windows' and a dangling 'and I'. Simplify to a single complete clause: 'look out of the window'. This fixes sentence structure and meaning.

× Yes, I always prefer to take photo of the scenery and movement, especially when we go to green places and we can watch lots of animals, trees and the like.

✓ Yes, I always prefer to take photos of the scenery and movement, especially when we go to green places where we can see many animals, trees, and so on.

Use plural 'photos' for general habit. 'Lots of' is informal; 'many' or 'a lot of' is clearer. Replace 'watch' with 'see' when referring to scenery and wildlife. 'And the like' is better as 'and so on' or omitted.

× It's produced joyful atmosphere.

✓ It produces a joyful atmosphere.

The original uses past participle 'produced' incorrectly. Use simple present 'produces' to match habitual action. Include article 'a' before 'joyful atmosphere'.

× I sometimes develop these photos when I look at them, my fond memory conflating back and I always share it with others to raise their information and also.

✓ I sometimes develop these photos; when I look at them, fond memories come back, and I always share them with others to increase their awareness.

Original has incorrect verb choices and forms: 'conflating back' is wrong; use 'come back' or 'return'. 'Develop' is fine but punctuation is needed. Use plural 'photos' pronoun 'them' and replace 'raise their information' with 'increase their awareness' or 'share information' for clarity.

× I believe that all of them, both of them are really important.

✓ I believe that both are really important.

Redundant phrasing 'all of them, both of them' is incorrect. Simplify to 'both are really important' to convey the intended meaning.

× I like, uh, uh, both of them.

✓ I like both of them.

Remove filler 'uh' and informal repetition. The corrected sentence uses the pronoun phrase correctly without hesitation sounds.

× It's really depends on my mood and my access.

✓ It really depends on my mood and my access.

Original has extraneous 'is' before 'depends'. Use 'depends' to agree with subject 'it'. The phrase 'my access' is odd but left; consider 'my opportunities' or 'accessibility' for better clarity.

× Uh, but generally I prefer sea because it produce a peaceful, uh, atmosphere.

✓ But generally I prefer the sea because it produces a peaceful atmosphere.

Use definite article 'the sea'. 'Produce' should be 'produces' to agree with singular subject 'it'. Remove filler 'uh' and unnecessary commas.

× When we go there, I can, uh, I can have a sense of umm, uh, quiet and peace.

✓ When I go there, I can have a sense of quiet and peace.

Remove repeated 'I can' and filler words. Use 'When I go there' to match personal preference. The structure is simplified and clearer.

× Uh, when we go to the mountain, we can, uh, enjoy adrenaline.

✓ When we go to the mountains, we can enjoy an adrenaline rush.

Use plural 'mountains' or 'a mountain' consistently; 'enjoy adrenaline' is unidiomatic—use 'enjoy an adrenaline rush' or 'get an adrenaline rush'. Remove filler 'uh' and extra commas.