Travelling— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Старайтесь давать чёткое вступительное предложение, избегать повторов и заполнителей (uh, umm). Уточните, что именно вы смотрите: пейзажи, архитектуру или уличное искусство, и добавьте одно конкретное обстоятельство или пример. Используйте связки (for example, because, so) для связности и не превышайте 4–5 предложений.

Exemplo: Yes, I always look out of the window when I travel because I enjoy seeing different landscapes and street art. For example, on flights I like to watch the sunset from above because the colours are stunning. I also notice local architecture when I travel by car, which helps me remember places better.

Sugestão: Избегайте неясных фраз и самоутверждений типа "without this, I'm not me"; вместо этого дайте прямой ответ, затем добавьте причину и конкретный пример. Уберите лишние звуковые паузы и повторения. Используйте связки (because, so, for instance) и простую структуру в 2–3 предложениях.

Exemplo: Yes, I often take photos from car or plane windows because I like to capture sunsets and interesting views. For example, I upload many sunset shots to my Instagram after trips to remind myself of special moments.

Sugestão: Дайте ясный ответ в первом предложении, затем объясните причину с конкретной деталью. Избегайте звуковых пауз и неясных слов (например, "C"). Можно упомянуть одно воспоминание или сравнение. Старайтесь 2–3 предложения, связанные логически с помощью because, so, and.

Exemplo: I prefer the sea because I grew up taking swimming lessons and I find being near the water relaxing. For example, I enjoy beach holidays where I can swim and watch the waves, which feels like a pleasant break from city life.

× Of course it is especially for me because I like the scenery and I like to uh, looking for different type of arts umm, when I travel and, and mostly when I fly, uh, with airplane in the window, I see very beautiful view of sunset and.

✓ Of course, especially for me, because I like the scenery and I like to look for different types of art when I travel. Mostly, when I fly, I see a very beautiful view of the sunset from the airplane window.

The student used 'like to uh, looking' which mixes the infinitive 'to' with a gerund 'looking'. After 'like' you can use either 'like to look' or 'like looking'; do not use 'to' before a gerund. Also 'different type of arts' is incorrect: use plural 'types' and uncountable 'art' or 'forms of art'. 'With airplane in the window' is word order and article problem; correct phrasing is 'from the airplane window'. Include articles for 'a very beautiful view' and 'the sunset' as specific nouns. Suggestions: use 'like to look' or 'like looking', change 'different type of arts' to 'different types of art', and reorder to 'from the airplane window'.

× Of course, without this, I'm not me, uh, in my, uh, gallery and in my Instagram have a lot of pictures, umm, that made myself mostly I made uh, outside the car window how I take photos of sunset.

✓ Of course. Without these photos I'm not myself. In my gallery and on Instagram I have a lot of pictures, most of which I took from the car window when photographing sunsets.

The student used 'without this, I'm not me' which is unnatural; use 'without these photos I'm not myself'. 'In my Instagram' is incorrect preposition; use 'on Instagram'. 'That made myself' misuses reflexive pronoun and verb form; the correct structure is 'most of which I took' or 'that I took'. Also 'how I take photos of sunset' is awkward; use 'when photographing sunsets' or 'when I photographed sunsets'. Suggestions: replace 'this' with 'these photos', use 'myself' correctly, use 'on Instagram', and use past tense 'took' for completed actions.

× Basically, I like them both, but umm, mostly I prefer C uh, because from my childhood I went to umm, swimming swimming classes and for me it is pleasure.

✓ Basically, I like both, but I mostly prefer the sea because since my childhood I have taken swimming lessons and it is a pleasure for me.

The original has 'prefer C' which seems to mean 'prefer the sea'; use full word 'the sea'. 'Because from my childhood I went to swimming classes' has wrong tense and preposition. Use 'since my childhood I have taken' or 'I have been going to' to indicate an action continuing from childhood. 'Swimming swimming classes' repeats a word. 'For me it is pleasure' lacks an article and natural order; use 'it is a pleasure for me'. Suggestions: write 'the sea', avoid repetition, use present perfect 'have taken' or 'have been taking' for actions from childhood to now, and include articles like 'a pleasure'.