Travelling— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and fully grammatical. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and unfinished sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I usually sit by the window when travelling. For example, on long bus trips I like watching changing landscapes because they help me relax and notice interesting places, such as small villages or rivers.

Sugestão: Reduce hesitations and repeat phrases. Give a clear reason and one specific example using a linking word. Use smoother vocabulary instead of filler sounds.

Exemplo: Yes, I often take photos from the car window because it creates a natural frame for the scene. For instance, I once photographed a sunset framed by the window which made the colors look more dramatic in the picture.

Sugestão: Finish your sentences and correct vocabulary mistakes. Begin with a clear preference, then give two specific reasons connected with personal experience using linking words like 'because' and 'for example'.

Exemplo: I prefer the mountains because I grew up in Chongqing, which is very hilly, so I feel comfortable there. For example, as a child I often hiked local trails with my family, so mountains remind me of home and peaceful walks.

× Each time when I have a chance to go out or when I'm traveling, I would choose the seat by the window, the view or the scene or the landscape.

✓ Each time I have a chance to go out or when I'm traveling, I choose the seat by the window to see the view or the landscape.

The original uses 'would choose' which implies conditional or habitual past; here the context describes a habitual present preference, so simple present 'choose' is correct (Grammar Problem Type 10 - use of present participle also applies to 'traveling' which is fine). Remove redundant words 'the view or the scene or the landscape' and streamline to 'the view or the landscape.' Also remove 'when' after 'Each time' to avoid redundancy.

× Really fascinating for me.

✓ It is really fascinating for me.

This fragment lacks a subject and finite verb. Adding 'It is' creates a complete sentence and fits the present-tense description of a feeling (Grammar Problem Type 26).

× I can.

✓ I can see it from there.

The original 'I can.' is a fragment and unclear. Expanding to 'I can see it from there' supplies the missing object and clarifies the meaning (Grammar Problem Type 26).

× I take, uh, I take a lot of pictures out of the car window.

✓ I take a lot of pictures out of the car window.

Remove the filler repetition 'I take, uh, I take' to produce a grammatically correct and fluent sentence. The verb 'take' in the simple present is correct for habitual action (Grammar Problem Type 10).

× I think the car window is kind of like a frame or the umm, yeah, it's kind of like a frame to shoot.

✓ I think the car window is like a frame for taking pictures.

Use 'for taking pictures' instead of 'to shoot' to use a clearer preposition and verb form. 'Frame for taking pictures' is a natural collocation; 'to shoot' is informal and less precise here (Grammar Problem Type 11).

× And this is a window in the picture.

✓ And this is the window in the picture.

Use the definite article 'the' because a specific window is being referred to in the picture. 'A window' would be non-specific; context suggests a particular window (Grammar Problem Type 22).

× I like the Munden more because I was born in a mountain city, Chongqing, the southwest of China, and there are so many mountains.

✓ I prefer the mountains more because I was born in a mountainous city, Chongqing, in southwest China, and there are so many mountains there.

'Like the Munden' is unclear; use 'prefer the mountains' or 'like the mountains.' 'Mountainous city' is a better adjective phrase than 'a mountain city.' Use 'in southwest China' as the correct prepositional phrase. Add 'there' to clarify location of mountains (Grammar Problem Type 11 and 13).

× I have a good relationship between the mountains.

✓ I have a close connection to the mountains.

'Relationship between the mountains' is incorrect because 'between' implies two entities. Use 'a close connection to the mountains' or 'a good relationship with the mountains' to convey affinity (Grammar Problem Type 11).

× When I was a child, I always.

✓ When I was a child, I always enjoyed being in the mountains.

The original is an incomplete sentence missing the main verb and object. Completing it with a verb phrase like 'enjoyed being in the mountains' makes the sentence grammatical and consistent in past tense (Grammar Problem Type 26).