Travelling— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Reduce fillers (uh), make the response more concise and use clearer linking. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Vary vocabulary (e.g., "enjoy watching", "soothing", "refreshing") and avoid repeating ideas.

Exemplo: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel because I love nature. For example, I enjoy watching stretches of green trees and fields, which I find very soothing; the fresh air and changing landscape help me relax during the journey.

Sugestão: Remove repetition and fillers, and give a specific example of what you photograph and why. Use linking words to show reason and result (e.g., "because", "so").

Exemplo: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery because I love capturing small natural details, such as misty hills or rows of trees. As a result, my phone gallery is full of pictures of greenery from various places I've visited.

Sugestão: Correct word choice and grammar: avoid saying "hydrophobic" (means fear of water but uncommon in speech) and "furious" (angry) for fear. Use clear reasons and concise structure: state preference, give two brief reasons with linking words, and correct articles and plurality.

Exemplo: I prefer the mountains to the sea because I feel uneasy around large bodies of water. In contrast, the mountains offer abundant greenery and fresh air, which makes me feel relaxed and refreshed.

× I enjoy watching green trees and uh, the fresh air, uh, makes me fascinated.

✓ I enjoy watching green trees, and the fresh air fascinates me.

The original sentence used 'makes me fascinated' which is an incorrect causative structure with an adjective in past participle. Use an active verb form 'fascinates me' to show that the fresh air causes fascination. Also remove filler 'uh' and combine clauses with a conjunction for clarity.

× It relaxes me and I like breathing the fresh air as we move along.

✓ It relaxes me, and I enjoy breathing the fresh air as we move along.

'Like breathing' is not incorrect grammatically, but 'enjoy breathing' is more natural and consistent. Also add a comma before 'and' to join independent clauses. Keep present continuous 'we move along' as is because it matches habitual action during travel.

× Yes, I am a nature lover and I like capturing small details around me, especially of the nature and the changing landscape.

✓ Yes, I am a nature lover, and I like capturing small details around me, especially of nature and the changing landscape.

The phrase 'the nature' is incorrect; 'nature' is generally uncountable and does not need the definite article here. Remove 'the' before 'nature'. Also add a comma after the initial clause for clarity.

× My phone gallery is filled with greenery, uh, from different different places.

✓ My phone gallery is filled with greenery from different places.

Remove the duplicated word 'different' and the filler 'uh'. The rest of the sentence is correct; 'greenery' is an uncountable noun and pairs well with 'filled with'.

× I prefer mountain overseas as I am a hydrophobic person so going near sea makes me very furious.

✓ I prefer mountains overseas because I am afraid of water, so going near the sea makes me very uncomfortable.

Several issues: 'mountain' should be plural 'mountains' or take an article ('the mountain') when speaking generally use plural. 'Hydrophobic' is a technical term meaning extreme fear of water but is uncommon in casual speech; 'afraid of water' is clearer. 'Furious' means extremely angry, not appropriate for fear/discomfort; use 'uncomfortable' or 'anxious'. Also add 'the' before 'sea' when referring to the sea in general and replace 'as' with 'because' for clearer cause. Add commas to separate clauses.

× Moreover, a mountains have a lots of greenery and fresh air so I feel very rejuvenating there.

✓ Moreover, the mountains have a lot of greenery and fresh air, so I feel very rejuvenated there.

Multiple errors: 'a mountains' mixes singular article with plural noun; use 'the mountains' or 'mountains' as appropriate. 'a lots of' is incorrect; use 'a lot of' or 'lots of'. 'I feel very rejuvenating' uses the adjective 'rejuvenating' to describe an effect; the correct form is the past participle adjective 'rejuvenated' to describe the speaker's feeling. Add a comma before 'so' to join clauses properly.