Study— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be careful with grammar (use correct articles and verb forms) and reduce redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two concise supporting details. Use linking words like "also" or "and" correctly. Pronounce key words clearly.

Exemplo: I'm currently a student, studying statistics and business management, and I also have an internship on an accounting platform. I enjoy both studying and working because my internship gives me practical experience and my courses provide theoretical foundations.

Sugestão: Make the topic sentence direct and correct prepositions ("in the middle of"). Avoid repeating "located" and be more specific about the university or city features. Use a linking word to connect city description to why it's good for study.

Exemplo: I study at a university in Shenzhou City, which is in the middle of Taiwan. Because the city hosts many tech firms and multinational companies, students have good internship and job opportunities.

Sugestão: Avoid filler words like "umm" and use correct verb forms ("receive" not "receiving"). Give one clear reason and a brief specific example of how professors help. Keep it to 2–3 sentences max.

Exemplo: Yes. Most professors are very professional and knowledgeable, so students can get reliable help when they struggle. For example, professors hold regular office hours and workshops to support difficult course topics.

Sugestão: Answer with a clear topic sentence about the change you want, then explain briefly why and give a specific example. Avoid repeating "for example" and improve cohesion with linking words like "for instance" or "so".

Exemplo: Yes, I would change the rules for using public facilities to reduce disturbance. For instance, the performance area lacks soundproofing, so practice sessions often disturb others; stricter time slots or soundproof rooms would help.

Sugestão: Combine short fragmented sentences into a clear, grammatically correct response. State your goal directly, then give a concise reason and plan. Avoid hesitation words like "uh".

Exemplo: I plan to pursue a master's degree overseas in data science. Since I studied business management and computer science, I already have some background, and a master's program will deepen my analytical and technical skills.

× I'm currently a student major in statistics and business management.

✓ I'm currently a student majoring in statistics and business management.

The problem is the verb form after 'major'; 'major in' is acceptable but here 'majoring in' (present participle) correctly expresses current study. Change to 'majoring' to form a proper verb phrase. Suggestion: Use 'majoring in' for ongoing study, or 'I major in' for simple present statements.

× At the same time I'm also a intern in accountant platform.

✓ At the same time I'm also an intern on an accounting platform.

Errors: article before a/an ('a intern' should be 'an intern') and noun choice ('accountant platform' is awkward). Use 'an' before vowel sound and 'accounting platform' or 'an accounting platform' for a platform related to accounting. Suggestion: Check articles before words beginning with vowel sounds and choose the correct noun form.

× So I would say I'm both and I really enjoy the recent working life as well as my school life.

✓ So I would say I'm both, and I really enjoy my recent working life as well as my school life.

Redundancy and word order: 'enjoy the recent working life' is unnatural; use 'my recent working life'. Add comma before coordinating conjunction linking independent clauses. Suggestion: Use possessive adjectives with life-related nouns and include punctuation for clarity.

× The university where I started in is located in Shenzhou city, which is located on the middle of Taiwan, so the city is full of technological talent and many leading multinational companies.

✓ The university where I started is located in Shenzhou City, which is in the middle of Taiwan, so the city is full of technological talent and many leading multinational companies.

Remove unnecessary preposition 'in' after 'started' when using 'where' clause: 'where I started' is correct. Use 'in the middle of Taiwan' rather than 'on the middle'. Capitalize proper noun 'City'. Suggestion: Use 'in the middle of' for locations and avoid extra prepositions after 'where' clauses.

× Yes, exactly, because most of the teachers and professors in the university are quite umm professional and knowledgeable, so if the students face any challenges through their umm schoolwork, they can easily receiving help.

✓ Yes, exactly, because most of the teachers and professors at the university are quite professional and knowledgeable, so if students face any challenges with their schoolwork, they can easily receive help.

Several issues: preposition 'in the university' should be 'at the university'; 'receiving' is wrong after 'can' — modal+base verb required ('receive'); use 'with their schoolwork' rather than 'through'. Remove unnecessary 'the' before 'students' unless specific group. Suggestion: After modal verbs use base form of verb; choose correct prepositions: 'at the university', 'with schoolwork'.

× I would say the rules of using public facilities, for example, the performance area.

✓ I would suggest changing the rules for using public facilities, for example the performance area.

Original sentence is a fragment and unclear. 'I would say the rules of using...' is awkward. 'I would suggest changing the rules for using...' clarifies the intended meaning and corrects preposition use. Suggestion: Use a full clause that states the action (suggest changing) for clarity.

× For example, sometimes when the students are practicing their performance, they may make noise.

✓ For example, sometimes when students are practicing their performances, they may make noise.

Article 'the students' implies a specific group; general statement prefers 'students'. 'Performance' should be plural 'performances' when referring to multiple students practicing different acts. Suggestion: Use plural nouns without 'the' for general statements and match noun plurality to context.

× Because I majored in business management in computer science.

✓ I majored in business management and computer science.

Fragment: sentence begins with 'Because' but has no main clause. Also 'majored in business management in computer science' is incorrect conjunction of majors. Combine into a single statement without starting with 'Because'. Suggestion: Avoid sentence fragments; keep subjects and predicates complete.

× So actually I have some, uh, background about data science.

✓ So actually I have some background in data science.

Preposition 'about' is less natural; 'background in' is the standard collocation. Remove filler words for clarity. Suggestion: Use 'background in' to describe familiarity with a field.

× So in the future I would like to explore more knowledge in this field through completing master degree overseas.

✓ So in the future I would like to gain more knowledge in this field by completing a master's degree overseas.

Errors: 'explore more knowledge' is unnatural — use 'gain more knowledge'; 'through completing master degree' needs article and possessive: 'a master's degree'; use 'by' to indicate method. Capitalize if needed. Suggestion: Use 'gain knowledge' and correct degree form 'a master's degree' and 'by' for method.