Sharing— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Reduce repetition and give a clear, concise topic sentence followed by a brief reason or example. Avoid filler words and repeated phrases. Aim for 2–3 sentences and use linking words like "because" or "so" for coherence.

Exemplo: Yes. My parents taught me to share with friends and siblings because they believed it builds strong relationships. For example, I often shared toys and snacks with my brother, which helped us become closer.

Sugestão: Start with a direct topic sentence that states what you usually share, then give one specific example. Avoid vague language and filler phrases like "actually" and try to use plural/singular correctly.

Exemplo: It depends on the situation, but I usually share useful items like musical instruments or tools. For instance, I lend my guitar to friends when they need it for practice.

Sugestão: Be precise and use correct vocabulary (you meant "hygiene" not "hydrogen"). Give a clear list and a brief reason using linking words like "because" or "since". Limit to 2–3 sentences.

Exemplo: Items related to personal hygiene should not be shared because they can spread germs. For example, I would never share a toothbrush, razor, or face towel with someone else.

Sugestão: Respond with a clear past tense sentence describing what you shared and why, then add one concise reaction detail. Avoid repetition and filler words; use correct verb forms (e.g., "I shared").

Exemplo: Yes, I recently shared a book with a friend because I had already finished reading it. He was grateful and said it helped him prepare for an exam.

Sugestão: Give a direct topic sentence naming the person and a short reason why, using correct pronouns. Avoid repeating words and correct small grammar errors ("she" not "he"). Keep to 2 sentences.

Exemplo: The first person I would share good news with is my wife because she always supports me. She is the first person I call when something positive happens.

Sugestão: State clearly the types of news you share, then give one or two specific examples. Remove filler words and use consistent verb tenses. Use linking phrases like "for example" or "such as" correctly.

Exemplo: I usually share positive personal news with my friends, such as passing an exam or getting a job promotion. For example, I told my friends when I received a promotion, and they celebrated with me.

× Yes, my parents taught me to share my things with my friends or or with my siblings.

✓ Yes, my parents taught me to share my things with my friends or with my siblings.

Remove the repeated word 'or' and keep past tense 'taught' which is correct; repetition is not a grammar tense error but a fluency mistake. Suggestion: speak slowly to avoid repeating words.

× They taught me that sharing is a good thing and can make a friend.

✓ They taught me that sharing is a good thing and can help me make friends.

Original 'can make a friend' is awkward and unclear. Use 'help me make friends' to express ability to form friendships. Maintain present tense for general truth.

× And I thought that and I learned that to share everything.

✓ I thought that too, and I learned to share everything.

Remove extra 'that' and reorder: 'learned to share' is correct verb pattern. Use 'too' for agreement. Keep past tense 'thought' and 'learned' to match context.

× Actually depends on situation, for example when someone need my instrument or thing.

✓ Actually, it depends on the situation; for example, when someone needs my instrument or something.

Missing subject 'it' and punctuation. Verb 'need' must be 'needs' to agree with 'someone' (third person singular). Use 'something' instead of 'thing'.

× If I could I share my things, for example my instruments or other things.

✓ If I can, I share my things, for example my instruments or other items.

Use present ability 'can' rather than conditional 'could' if speaking generally. Also include comma and use 'items' for clarity. If intending past conditional, use 'could' with 'I would share'.

× Actually, I think that's, uh, the thing that's related to our hydrogen or health, uh, is not to be sharing such as, uh, uh, toothbrush, uh, or plate or a shaving machine and other thing that's related to uh, umm, ourselves.

✓ Actually, I think things related to our hygiene or health should not be shared, such as a toothbrush, plate, shaving razor, and other personal items.

Multiple issues: 'hydrogen' incorrect word; should be 'hygiene'. Use plural 'things' and 'items'. Use modal structure 'should not be shared' instead of 'is not to be sharing'. 'Shaving machine' is better as 'shaving razor' or 'electric razor'. Use 'personal items' rather than 'ourselves'.

× Uh, yes, actually, uh, recently I share my book to, to my friend, uh, because I want to read it and I share it to, to him and, uh, he's very happy about, uh, sharing to my book and I, I always try to share my things that I.

✓ Yes, actually, recently I lent my book to my friend because he wanted to read it. I lent it to him, and he was very happy. I always try to share my things.

Use past tense 'lent' for a completed action. Use correct verb 'lend' with object 'to someone' or 'lend something to someone'. Replace awkward phrases and remove repetition. Keep pronouns consistent ('he' not 'he' will be).

× Actually the first person I, I would like to share the good news with my wife because I know that when I share a good news to her, he will be very happy.

✓ Actually, the first person I would like to share good news with is my wife because I know that when I share good news with her, she will be very happy.

Pronoun errors: use 'she' for wife, not 'he'. Use 'good news' without article 'a'. Use 'share ... with' rather than 'share ... to'. Include 'is' for cleft sentence structure.

× And so I share my good news at first for for her and very good thing.

✓ So I share my good news with her first because she is very happy for me.

Use 'with her first' for order. Remove repeated 'for'. Clarify 'very good thing' to 'because she is very happy for me' to express reason. Maintain present simple for habitual action.

× Uh, actually, uh, I tried to share a good news such as, uh, uh, when I achieve something good or I pass the exam or when I have a promotion in my job, I try to share it with my friend and I know that they will be happy when I share my uh.

✓ Actually, I try to share good news, such as when I achieve something, pass an exam, or get a promotion. I share it with my friends because I know they will be happy for me.

Consistency: use present simple 'try'/'share' for habitual actions. Use 'good news' (no 'a'). Use parallel verbs: 'achieve', 'pass', 'get a promotion'. Use plural 'friends' with 'they'. Finish sentence clearly. Replace 'they will be happy when I share my' with 'they will be happy for me'.