Internet— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid irrelevant phrases like “in the file sharing.” Use linking words if adding details.

Exemplo: I started using the internet when I was in junior high school. At that time most students and teachers used an instant messaging app called QQ, which we mainly used to chat and share files.

Sugestão: Answer directly and avoid unrelated or confusing phrases. Combine similar ideas into one or two sentences, use linking words, and give a specific example of online activities instead of the phrase “I also apologize.”

Exemplo: I go online every day for both work and study. For example, I use WeChat and QQ to keep in touch with family and colleagues, and I also research articles and attend online meetings.

Sugestão: Correct grammar and clarify the situation with specific details. Start with a clear topic sentence and then explain the school rule and its reason using linking words.

Exemplo: Yes. When I was in high school, teachers did not allow us to use mobile phones or computers during class. As a result, we had to keep devices in our bags to avoid distractions and focus on lessons.

Sugestão: Be precise and correct word choice (e.g. ‘computers’ not ‘commuters’). Give a brief reason and one example of how you try to limit screen time to show reflection.

Exemplo: Yes, I do. My job requires long hours on the computer to search for materials, and I also use my phone a lot. To reduce screen time, I try to take short breaks and exercise every two hours.

Sugestão: Keep it natural and combine ideas into one or two fluent sentences. Use linking words to connect activities and be specific about what you would do.

Exemplo: If I had no internet, I would spend more time outdoors—walking with friends and doing regular exercise to improve my health, such as jogging or playing basketball.

× I started using Internet when I was in junior high school.

✓ I started using the internet when I was in junior high school.

Use the definite article 'the' before 'internet' when referring to the global network as a specific entity. Also 'internet' is commonly lowercase in general usage. Suggestion: say 'the internet' for clarity and correctness.

× There was a very popular instant messaging app named QQ which was widely used by classmates and teachers for communication in the file sharing.

✓ There was a very popular instant messaging app named QQ, which was widely used by classmates and teachers for communication and file sharing.

The sentence misuses 'in the file sharing' and omits a necessary conjunction. Change 'in the file sharing' to 'and file sharing' to list two uses. Also add a comma before the nonrestrictive clause 'which was...'. Suggestion: join related activities with 'and' and punctuate clauses correctly.

× I use the Internet every day for both work and study.

✓ I use the internet every day for both work and study.

As above, use 'the internet' or lowercase 'internet' consistently. Common usage prefers 'the internet' but lowercase; choose one form and be consistent. Suggestion: 'I use the internet every day...'.

× I use instant messenger apps such as WeChat QQ for communication with a friend and family members.

✓ I use instant messenger apps such as WeChat and QQ to communicate with friends and family members.

The original mixes singular and plural ('a friend' vs 'family members') and uses an awkward preposition. Use plural 'friends' to match 'family members' or make both singular. Also use 'to communicate with' rather than 'for communication with'. Suggestion: keep number agreement between nouns and use 'to communicate with'.

× I also apologize.

✓ (Remove or clarify) I also apologize for any inconvenience.

The sentence 'I also apologize.' is isolated and unclear in context; it lacks an object or reason. Either remove it if unintended, or complete it with what is being apologized for, e.g. 'I also apologize for any inconvenience.' Suggestion: provide an object for 'apologize'.

× When I was in high school, teachers have made us for using move phones in the computers at classes.

✓ When I was in high school, teachers forbade us from using mobile phones or computers in class.

Multiple issues: tense and agreement ('have made us' incorrect here), incorrect prepositions ('for using', 'in the computers at classes'), word choice ('move phones' should be 'mobile phones'), and noun phrases ('in class' not 'at classes'). The correct phrasing for prohibition is 'forbade us from using'. Suggestion: use simple past 'forbade' and proper prepositions: 'forbade us from using mobile phones or computers in class.'.

× And for a slightly.

✓ (Remove or clarify) It is slightly strict.

This fragment 'And for a slightly.' is incomplete and ungrammatical. Provide a full clause or remove it. Example correction: 'It was slightly strict.' Suggestion: avoid sentence fragments and complete the thought.

× Yes, because I use commuters and mobile phones every day and my work requires a lot of time in front of the computers for searching materials.

✓ Yes, because I use computers and mobile phones every day, and my work requires a lot of time in front of the computer to search for materials.

'Commuters' is incorrect word; should be 'computers'. Use singular 'the computer' or plural consistently; 'in front of the computer' is more natural when referring to one's workstation. 'For searching materials' should be 'to search for materials'. Also add a comma before 'and' joining clauses. Suggestion: correct typos and use appropriate infinitive 'to search for'.

× If I had no Internet, I would go outside to take a walk with my friends and.

✓ If I had no internet, I would go outside to take a walk with my friends and

The sentence ends abruptly with 'and.' Remove the trailing 'and' or finish the list. Also use 'the internet' consistently: 'If I had no internet' or 'If I had no internet access'. Suggestion: complete the sentence: '...with my friends and do some physical exercise.'.

× Do some physical exercise for my body health.

✓ Do some physical exercise for my health.

This fragment lacks a subject and should be combined with the previous sentence or rephrased. 'Body health' is unnatural; use 'my health' or 'my physical health'. Suggestion: '...and do some physical exercise for my health.'.