Internet— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be concise and clear: start with a direct topic sentence stating when you began, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid unclear phrases and grammar errors (e.g., tense, articles, pronouns). Use linking words like “then” or “after that” for flow. Keep to no more than 4–5 sentences.

Exemplo: I started using the internet when I was about seven, while I was in primary school. My aunt introduced me to it, and I first used it to create a QQ account to chat with friends. After that I spent a lot of time playing simple computer games during school holidays.

Sugestão: Answer directly with a clear frequency (e.g., daily, several times a day) and then contrast past and present with one linking phrase like “nowadays” or “when I was younger”. Fix grammar (subject-verb agreement) and finish sentences fully. Keep responses short and specific.

Exemplo: It depends, but nowadays I go online several times a day. When I was a child I only used the internet once or twice a week because my parents limited my screen time.

Sugestão: Start with a clear affirmative sentence then explain briefly why and when. Use correct verb forms (“forbade” or “did not allow”) and avoid repetitive words. Provide a specific reason and a short consequence to make the answer natural and coherent.

Exemplo: Yes. When I was in primary school my parents forbade me from using the internet for several months because my eyesight had worsened. They believed excessive screen time was causing the problem, so they only allowed limited use for schoolwork.

Sugestão: Give a direct opinion (Yes/No) then support it with one or two concise reasons using linking words like “because” or “so”. Fix grammar and be specific about what you do online and a clear negative effect. Avoid trailing or unfinished sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I do spend too much time online because I use my phone and computer for social media, videos and games every day. As a result my eyesight has worsened and I feel less active, so I am trying to limit screen time to evenings only.

Sugestão: Answer directly with a topic sentence (e.g., “Without the internet I would…”) then list two or three specific activities with brief reasons. Use linking words (for example, “for instance” or “also”) and correct vocabulary (e.g., “play the piano”, “go for walks”). Keep sentences fluent and avoid hesitation words.

Exemplo: Without the internet I would spend more time on hobbies. For example, I would read more books, practice playing the piano, and meet friends to explore the city, which would help me relax and think more clearly.

× I started using Internet when I was in my primary school.

✓ I started using the Internet when I was in primary school.

Use the definite article 'the' with 'Internet' in this context and do not use 'my' before 'primary school' in English; 'in primary school' is the natural collocation. Also 'Internet' is treated as a singular mass noun and commonly preceded by 'the'.

× I finished my aunties introduced me to guilty as I first started registering in QQ and have a QQ account and later I was playing computer games during primary school for most of the years at first.

✓ My aunties introduced me to it when I first started registering on QQ and created a QQ account; later, I played computer games during most years of primary school.

The original sentence is run-on and unclear. Fix by splitting into clauses, using correct preposition 'on QQ', using 'created' or 'made' a QQ account, and using 'played computer games during most years of primary school' to express habitual past. This corrects sentence structure and verb choice.

× The frequency that I go, I varied from time to time.

✓ The frequency that I go online varies from time to time.

The speaker refers to a general present habit, so use present simple 'varies' not past 'varied'. Also include 'online' and reorder to natural English word order.

× I was allowed to play computer games like every once a week or twice a week.

✓ I was allowed to play computer games once or twice a week.

When describing allowance in the past, 'was allowed' is fine, but 'every once a week' is unidiomatic; use 'once or twice a week'. Remove unnecessary filler 'like'.

× And as time went on nowadays I got my personal cell phone and it's on my PC, so I can basically.

✓ As time went on, I got my own cell phone and now I can access the internet on my phone and PC, so I can go online more easily.

The original mixes past and 'nowadays' awkwardly and ends an incomplete clause 'so I can basically.' Rephrase to separate past change and current ability; use 'now' for present and complete the thought.

× Yeah, I remember that when I was in my primary school, my parents forbidden me from visiting the Internet because my eyesight was worse than ever.

✓ Yes, I remember that when I was in primary school, my parents forbade me from visiting the Internet because my eyesight was getting worse.

Use past simple 'forbade' (not 'forbidden') and natural phrasing 'getting worse' rather than 'was worse than ever'. Also use 'Yes' for conversational clarity and 'in primary school' without 'my'.

× They thought the Internet and the screen time was and were was the reason to be blamed.

✓ They thought the Internet and screen time were to blame.

Original has confused verbs and passive phrasing. Use plural verb 'were' because two items ('Internet and screen time') are the subject, and the idiomatic expression is 'to blame' rather than 'the reason to be blamed'.

× Yeah, I think I spent far more times online than I ever need 'cause nowadays the technology is rapidly developed and mobile phone, personal computer is like every, everyone's essential life.

✓ Yes, I think I spend far more time online than I ever need, because nowadays technology has developed rapidly and mobile phones and personal computers are essential in everyone's life.

The speaker refers to a current habit, so use present simple 'spend' not past 'spent'. Use uncountable 'time' not 'times'. Use 'because' and present perfect 'has developed' or present simple 'has developed' to describe technological progress; make subjects plural 'mobile phones and personal computers' and use 'are essential'.

× So I can help looking into those screens.

✓ So I end up looking at those screens a lot.

'Help looking' is incorrect here. Use natural phrasing 'end up looking at' and the correct preposition 'at' after 'looking'.

× So I spend too much time on life. It's bad for my eyesight and bad for my.

✓ So I spend too much time online. It's bad for my eyesight and my health.

'Spend too much time on life' is ungrammatical; intended meaning is 'online'. The second clause was incomplete 'bad for my.' Complete it with 'my health' to convey the idea.

× Uh, if you mean like in daily lives, what, what I do is hard and I, I would pick some of my hobbies like, uh, reading books, like playing pianos or hanging out with friends or wandering around the city.

✓ If you mean in daily life, what I would do is pursue some hobbies like reading books, playing the piano, hanging out with friends, or wandering around the city.

Use singular 'daily life', smooth conditional 'what I would do is', and correct noun phrase 'playing the piano' not 'playing pianos'. Remove filler words and repeatitions and use parallel gerund forms for the list.

× There, there are my hobbies without the Internet and they're both, they're also meaningful and, and matters in mind.

✓ Those are my hobbies without the Internet, and they are meaningful and important to me.

Use 'Those' to refer to items previously listed, not 'There, there are'. Use 'important to me' or 'matter to me' rather than 'matters in mind'. Remove duplicated fillers and make adjective usage natural.