Birthday— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: In your answer, try to be more clear and concise. Use simpler sentence structures and avoid redundancy. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas logically. For example, start with a clear topic sentence, then add details using words like 'and' or 'also'.

Exemplo: On my birthday, I usually celebrate with a beautifully decorated cake. I invite my relatives, friends, and neighbors to join the party. They often bring lovely gifts, and we enjoy the celebration together.

Sugestão: Try to avoid filler words like 'uh' and incomplete sentences. Make your answer more structured by giving a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Use linking words such as 'and' or 'also' to connect your ideas smoothly.

Exemplo: When I was young, I celebrated my birthday with friends and relatives. We enjoyed cake, received beautiful gifts and chocolates, and had a lot of fun together.

Sugestão: Focus on clearer sentence structure and grammar. Use linking words like 'because' and 'so' to explain your reasons logically. Try to avoid repetition and express your ideas more naturally.

Exemplo: Celebrating my birthday is very important to me because it reminds me of my growth and responsibilities. It is a special moment that makes me feel proud and happy.

Sugestão: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to give a direct answer with clear information. Use linking words to organize your ideas and avoid unnecessary details that confuse the listener.

Exemplo: In China, I think the most important birthday to celebrate is that of my cousin Kilpauchan. He is 22 years old and has done a lot of work to help his community and country.

× On my birthday, I usually make my celebration of my birthday with a beautiful decorated piece of cake and invited to many type of my friends in the form of relatives.

✓ On my birthday, I usually celebrate with a beautifully decorated piece of cake and invite many types of my friends, including relatives.

The sentence has singular and plural mismatches: 'many type' should be 'many types' to agree in number. Also, 'invited' should be 'invite' to match the present tense. 'Make my celebration of my birthday' is awkward; 'celebrate' is more natural here. 'Beautiful decorated' should be 'beautifully decorated' to use the adverb form modifying the past participle.

× and invited to many type of my friends in the form of relatives.

✓ and invite many types of my friends, including relatives.

The preposition 'to' after 'invited' is incorrect here; the verb 'invite' does not require 'to' before the object. Also, 'in the form of relatives' is awkward; 'including relatives' is clearer and more natural.

× with a beautiful decorated piece of cake

✓ with a beautifully decorated piece of cake

'Beautiful' is an adjective, but it should be an adverb 'beautifully' to modify the past participle 'decorated'. This is a common error where an adjective is used instead of an adverb before a verb form.

× I was making my birthday very special by celebrating with a piece of cake with my the friends and relatives.

✓ I made my birthday very special by celebrating with a piece of cake with my friends and relatives.

The past continuous 'was making' is not appropriate here; simple past 'made' is better to describe a completed action in the past. Also, 'my the friends' is incorrect; 'my friends' is correct.

× with my the friends and relatives.

✓ with my friends and relatives.

'My the friends' is incorrect because two possessive determiners cannot be used together. Only 'my' is needed before 'friends'.

× Uh, uh, we were celebrating and with the beautiful gifts and chocolates and we were having good times and we were so happy with.

✓ We were celebrating with beautiful gifts and chocolates, having good times, and were very happy.

The original sentence is fragmented and has unnecessary conjunctions. The phrase 'we were so happy with' is incomplete and needs an object or should be rephrased. The correction improves clarity and sentence flow.

× This is a very much important part of my life because I feel like this way I make myself more proud and grow and each years remind me that I'm grow and how to take my responsibility of many things in my life.

✓ This is a very important part of my life because I feel that this way I make myself more proud and grow, and each year reminds me that I am growing and how to take responsibility for many things in my life.

'Very much important' is incorrect; 'very important' is correct. 'Each years' should be singular 'each year'. 'I'm grow' is incorrect; it should be 'I am growing'. 'Take my responsibility of' should be 'take responsibility for'. These are present tense and agreement errors.

× So it's a very special moment for me of my life and I do celebrate with so many happiness.

✓ So it's a very special moment in my life and I celebrate with much happiness.

'So many happiness' is incorrect because 'happiness' is an uncountable noun and should be used with 'much' instead of 'many'. Also, 'for me of my life' is awkward; 'in my life' is correct.

× Well, I think it's the most important person in the China by name is Kilpauchan and he is about 22 years old and my cousin and my salar friend and he's very skillful man and did so much of work for his population and country.

✓ Well, I think the most important person in China is Kilpauchan. He is about 22 years old, my cousin and my close friend. He is a very skillful man and has done a lot of work for his people and country.

'The China' is incorrect; 'China' does not need 'the'. 'Salar friend' is unclear; 'close friend' is more natural. 'Did so much of work' should be 'has done a lot of work'. 'Population' is better replaced with 'people' in this context.

× He have top number government and did a lot of effort.

✓ He has a top government position and has made a lot of effort.

'He have' is incorrect; it should be 'He has' to agree with the singular subject. 'Top number government' is unclear; 'top government position' is clearer. 'Did a lot of effort' should be 'has made a lot of effort' for correct tense and collocation.