Friends— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Try to make your answer more concise and natural by avoiding redundancy and combining similar ideas. Also, use linking words to connect your sentences smoothly.

Exemplo: Yes, I have a close friend named Cahaya whom I've known since junior high school. She is kind, cheerful, and very beautiful.

Sugestão: Use more natural linking words and avoid listing with 'firstly' and 'secondly' in casual speech. Also, be more specific about the entertainment topics you discuss.

Exemplo: We usually watch movies at the cinema and visit new cafes near our homes. Sometimes, we also chat about the latest Indonesian entertainment news.

Sugestão: Make your answer more natural by simplifying phrases and avoiding awkward expressions like 'make our meet more beautiful.' Also, use linking words to connect ideas.

Exemplo: I often meet my friends at coffee shops because we can talk for hours and I like taking photos and videos to capture our time together.

Sugestão: Try to use more natural expressions and avoid repeating words like 'often.' Also, use linking words to improve coherence.

Exemplo: I don't go out with my friends very often because I work, but I always spend time with my close friend on weekends.

Sugestão: Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Make your answer clearer and more coherent by using linking words and complete sentences.

Exemplo: Friends are very important to me because they are like family. They always help me whenever I need support, without expecting anything in return.

Sugestão: Use correct expressions and clarify your ideas. Avoid confusing phrases like 'without joy' and explain your reasons clearly with linking words.

Exemplo: I prefer spending time with one friend because I can have clear conversations and trust her to keep my secrets.

Sugestão: Complete your sentences and avoid abrupt endings. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific details.

Exemplo: Absolutely, I often invite friends to my home. For example, in senior high school, I used to offer snacks like chocolates and fig bars, which made them very happy.

Sugestão: Avoid incomplete sentences and clarify your ideas. Use linking words to compare past and present clearly.

Exemplo: Yes, there are differences. In the past, I would visit my friends' homes directly, but now I usually call them on my smartphone to arrange meetings.

Sugestão: Avoid incomplete sentences and awkward phrasing. Use clear linking words and explain your reasons with specific examples.

Exemplo: Some places are better for meeting because of their environment. For instance, coffee shops have a good atmosphere for talking, while cinemas or malls are less suitable because they are noisy or crowded.

× Firstly, we watch some movies in cinema.

✓ Firstly, we watch some movies in the cinema.

The noun 'cinema' is countable and singular, so it requires the definite article 'the' when referring to a specific place. Omitting 'the' is incorrect here.

× Secondly, we try to come to the new cafe around our house.

✓ Secondly, we try to go to the new cafe near our house.

The verb 'come' is not appropriate here; 'go' is better for indicating movement to a place. Also, 'around' is less precise than 'near' when referring to location.

× sometimes we talk about the entertainment lately, especially for Indonesia.

✓ sometimes we talk about recent entertainment, especially in Indonesia.

The phrase 'the entertainment lately' is awkward; 'recent entertainment' is clearer. Also, 'for Indonesia' should be 'in Indonesia' to indicate location.

× I always meet my friends in the coffee shops because I can talk and spend several hours with them there and also I can take some photos and videos to make our meet more beautiful.

✓ I always meet my friends in coffee shops because I can talk and spend several hours with them there, and also I can take some photos and videos to make our meetings more enjoyable.

'Coffee shops' is plural, so 'the' is not needed before it. Also, 'meet' as a noun is incorrect; 'meetings' or 'meet-ups' is appropriate. 'More beautiful' is awkward; 'more enjoyable' fits better.

× Not really often because now I am a worker and I don't have much time to hang out with my friends, but every weekend I always do it with my close friend.

✓ Not very often because now I am working and I don't have much time to hang out with my friends, but every weekend I always do it with my close friend.

'Not really often' is awkward; 'not very often' is better. 'I am a worker' is less natural than 'I am working' or 'I have a job.'

× It's so important because for me personally my friend is seems like my family and the reason why because they always help me whenever I need the help and they always help me without help without.

✓ It's very important because, for me personally, my friends seem like my family, and the reason is that they always help me whenever I need help, and they always help me unconditionally.

'My friend is seems' is incorrect; it should be 'my friends seem.' The phrase 'the reason why because' is redundant; use 'the reason is that.' The ending 'help me without help without' is incomplete and unclear; 'help me unconditionally' is clearer.

× I prefer to choose former because for me personally, if I spend time with one friend, I can talk with her clearly without joy and also she can keep my secret.

✓ I prefer to choose the former because, for me personally, if I spend time with one friend, I can talk with her clearly without distraction, and she can also keep my secret.

'Without joy' is incorrect in this context; likely the intended meaning is 'without distraction' or 'without interruption.' Also, 'former' should be preceded by 'the' when used as a noun.

× For example, when I was in Senior High School, I always invited my friends to come to my home and I provided them with some snacks like chocolates and also fig bar and they were very happy because.

✓ For example, when I was in Senior High School, I always invited my friends to come to my home and I provided them with some snacks like chocolates and fig bars, and they were very happy because of that.

'Fig bar' should be plural 'fig bars' to match 'snacks.' The sentence ends abruptly; adding 'because of that' completes the thought.

× I think there are some differences between now and also in the past.

✓ I think there are some differences between now and the past.

The phrase 'between now and also in the past' is awkward; 'between now and the past' is clearer and grammatically correct.

× For example, in the past, if I want to meet my friend, I can directly come to their home, but now if I want to meet my friends, I just can call them directly by smartphone and I.

✓ For example, in the past, if I wanted to meet my friend, I could directly go to their home, but now if I want to meet my friends, I can just call them directly on my smartphone.

Tense inconsistency: 'want' should be past tense 'wanted' to match 'in the past.' 'Can directly come' is awkward; 'could directly go' is better. 'Call them directly by smartphone' should be 'call them directly on my smartphone.' The sentence ends abruptly; the correction completes it.

× I think there are some reasons, first thing first, because the environment, for example Cafe Coffee has a good atmosphere to us to have meeting, but for the other like cinema or mall it doesn't support us to have meeting with.

✓ I think there are some reasons. First of all, the environment matters. For example, a coffee shop has a good atmosphere for us to have meetings, but others like cinemas or malls don't support us having meetings well.

'First thing first' should be 'First of all.' 'Cafe Coffee' is unclear; 'a coffee shop' is better. 'Has a good atmosphere to us to have meeting' is incorrect; 'has a good atmosphere for us to have meetings' is correct. 'For the other like cinema or mall' should be 'others like cinemas or malls.' The sentence ends abruptly; the correction completes the thought.