Patience— Part 1 Báo cáo

Gợi ý: Be more natural and concise. Start with a direct topic sentence (Yes/No + reason), avoid awkward phrasing like 'during my phlegmatic temperament' and unnecessary words. Use 2–3 supporting details and one linking word. Also correct grammar (use simple past/present appropriately).

Ví dụ: Yes, I consider myself a patient person because I usually stay calm in stressful situations. For example, when waiting for long queues I try to focus on my phone or read to keep calm, which helps me avoid frustration.

Gợi ý: Be clearer and less emotional. Give a concise topic sentence saying what triggers impatience, then explain with a specific reason and an example. Avoid unclear phrases like 'feel my desires' and 'take into accountability'. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example'.

Ví dụ: I become impatient with close friends or family when they repeatedly ignore my requests because it feels like my time and opinions aren’t respected. For example, if I ask someone to be on time and they are late several times, I feel frustrated and say so calmly.

Gợi ý: Give a clear topic sentence and organize supporting details with linking words. Reduce repetition (e.g., 'stressed' and 'overwhelmed' both used). Mention a coping strategy to show control. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

Ví dụ: When I have to do a long task, I usually feel stressed at first, but then I focus on managing my time. For instance, I break the work into smaller parts and take short breaks so I don’t become overwhelmed.

Gợi ý: Answer directly and correct grammar. State your current situation, then explain clearly why your future job requires patience with a specific detail about the job. Use linking words like 'because' and keep sentences concise.

Ví dụ: I’m not working right now, but my intended profession will require patience because I will deal with diverse clients who have different needs. For example, I will need to listen carefully and stay composed when clients are upset.

Gợi ý: Compare past and present clearly. Start with a direct statement (Yes/No + brief reason), then provide a specific supporting detail linking upbringing to past temperament. Fix grammar and reduce redundancy.

Ví dụ: Yes, I am less patient now than I was as a child because I was raised in a quiet, isolated environment and was naturally calm. For example, as a child I avoided loud places and rarely became upset, whereas now I can get impatient in busy situations.

× I think I am a patient person during my phlegmatic temperament and it was the main part of my personality.

✓ I think I am a patient person because of my phlegmatic temperament, and it is a main part of my personality.

Subject-verb agreement and tense consistency (IDs 27 and 3): 'it was the main part' mixes past tense with present description; use present 'it is'. Also 'during my phlegmatic temperament' is incorrect preposition and phrasing (ID 11) — use 'because of my phlegmatic temperament'. This keeps subject-verb agreement and consistent present-tense description.

× I get impatient with my close ones because I feel like they need to feel my desires and take into accountability whatever I say because it shows that they value me as a person.

✓ I get impatient with my close ones because I feel like they need to understand my wishes and take into account whatever I say, since that shows they value me as a person.

Incorrect use of prepositions and word choice (ID 11): 'take into accountability' is incorrect; correct phrase is 'take into account'. 'Feel my desires' is awkward — 'understand my wishes' is clearer. Also replace the second 'because' with 'since' to avoid repetition and improve flow.

× I feel stressed out first and I try pushing my limits to end the task once I started it and I would say I feel pretty much overwhelmed.

✓ I feel stressed at first, and I try to push my limits to finish the task once I have started it; I would say I feel quite overwhelmed.

Present tense and verb form issues (IDs 6 and 8): Use 'feel stressed at first' not 'out first'. 'Try pushing' is acceptable but 'try to push' is more natural. 'Once I started it' mixes past with present context—use present perfect 'once I have started it'. 'Pretty much overwhelmed' is informal; 'quite overwhelmed' is more appropriate.

× I don't work for now but my profession will require the patience because I would have really a diverse clients that would require me to stay composed.

✓ I don't work at the moment, but my profession will require patience because I will have a really diverse group of clients who will require me to stay composed.

Present tense and article errors (IDs 6 and 22): 'for now' is informal; 'at the moment' is better. 'Require the patience' is incorrect article use — use 'require patience'. 'I would have really a diverse clients' has modal/tense and article/order errors; use 'I will have a really diverse group of clients' and use 'who' for people.

× I was away patient when I was young, probably because I was raised pretty isolated from loud environments and I was really calm and introverted child.

✓ I was very patient when I was young, probably because I was raised fairly isolated from loud environments, and I was a really calm and introverted child.

Past tense and incorrect word/omission of article (IDs 5 and 12): 'away patient' is incorrect word choice — should be 'very patient'. 'Raised pretty isolated' — 'fairly isolated' is more natural. Missing article before 'really calm and introverted child' — add 'a' to say 'I was a really calm and introverted child.'