Shoes— Part 1 Báo cáo

Gợi ý: Be more concise and use a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid redundancy like ‘I like buying shoes’ followed by repeated ideas. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., “because” or “so”). Also vary vocabulary (e.g., replace “worn out” with “worn” or “beyond repair”) and keep to 2–3 sentences.

Ví dụ: Yes, I like buying shoes, but I don’t do it often because I only replace them when they’re worn. I usually buy a new pair about once a year, mainly when the soles are damaged or the fit becomes loose.

Gợi ý: Correct repetition errors and improve clarity. Start with a direct topic sentence, then briefly describe one specific experience using linking words (e.g., “however,” “so”). Include concise details about the issue and resolution. Watch for grammar (e.g., “full refund for the difference” is unclear—say “received a full refund” or “was refunded the difference”).

Ví dụ: Yes, I have bought shoes online three times. However, one pair was too small, so I exchanged them for a larger size and received a full refund for the price difference.

Gợi ý: Use correct grammar and more precise phrasing. Begin with a clear range, then use a linking word like “but” or “if” and give a concise reason. Fix errors such as “that I really like it or does very comfortable”—use “that I really like or that are very comfortable and long‑lasting.” Keep it to two sentences.

Ví dụ: I usually spend around ¥8,000 to ¥10,000 on a pair of shoes. But if I find a pair that I really like or that are extremely comfortable and long‑lasting, I would be willing to pay more than ¥10,000.

Gợi ý: Clarify the topic sentence and remove confusing phrases. Explain one reason with a linking word (e.g., “because” or “so”) and provide a specific example. Fix awkward or incorrect phrasing like “one of my hobbies is working” and “walk around the city by for walk.” Keep it to 2–3 clear sentences.

Ví dụ: I prefer comfortable shoes because I walk around the city a lot for work and leisure. Comfortable shoes allow me to walk long distances without pain, so I always choose them over fashionable but uncomfortable styles.

× Yes, I have bought my shoes online online three times.

✓ Yes, I have bought shoes online three times.

The definite article 'my' is unnecessary here because speaking generally about purchases does not require a possessive; also the word 'online' is duplicated. Remove the extra word and article to make the sentence natural: 'I have bought shoes online three times.'

× The pair I ordered was too small so I exchanged them for a larger size and got full refund for the difference.

✓ The pair I ordered was too small, so I exchanged it for a larger size and got a full refund for the difference.

Subject 'pair' is singular, so use singular pronoun 'it' rather than 'them'. Also 'full refund' needs the indefinite article 'a'. Include a comma before 'so' when joining independent clauses. Correct: 'exchanged it' and 'got a full refund.'

× I usually spend about ¥8000 to ¥10,000 on a pair of shoes.

✓ I usually spend about ¥8,000 to ¥10,000 on a pair of shoes.

This is mainly a punctuation/formatting issue: include consistent thousand separators. No grammar rule ID exactly matches number formatting, but treat as adjective/number clarity. Use consistent numeric formatting for clarity: '¥8,000 to ¥10,000.'

× However, if I find a pair of shoes that I really like it or does very comfortable and long lasting, I will pay more than ¥10,000 for them.

✓ However, if I find a pair of shoes that I really like and that is very comfortable and long-lasting, I will pay more than ¥10,000 for it.

The original mixes clauses incorrectly and uses wrong pronouns and verb forms. Remove the redundant 'it or does' and use relative clauses: 'that I really like and that is very comfortable and long-lasting.' Use singular pronoun 'it' to refer to 'a pair.' Hyphenate 'long-lasting.'

× I prefer comfortable shoes because one of my hobbies is working and I often walk around the city by for walk and comfortable shoes let me walk for a long distance without discomfort so I choose.

✓ I prefer comfortable shoes because one of my activities is work, and I often walk around the city for walks, so comfortable shoes let me walk long distances without discomfort.

This sentence has multiple structural problems: 'hobbies is working' is awkward — 'activities is work' or 'I work' is better. 'walk around the city by for walk' is ungrammatical; use 'walk around the city' or 'go for walks.' Replace 'walk for a long distance' with 'walk long distances.' Break into clearer clauses joined by commas and conjunctions. Use plural 'distances' for generality.