Hobby— Part 1 Báo cáo

Gợi ý: Your answer is clear and natural, but a bit long and somewhat repetitive (repeated use of "tried" and "I like"). To improve, make your topic sentence concise, avoid repeating the same verb, and add one specific supporting detail about why piano is your favorite using a linking word (e.g., "because" or "for example"). Keep to a maximum of 4–5 sentences.

Ví dụ: I have tried several hobbies over the years, including piano, ukulele and crocheting. However, my favorite is the piano because I enjoy learning to read music and expressing emotions through melodies. For example, I often practice a new piece for thirty minutes each evening to improve my technique.

Gợi ý: This answer is personal and specific, which is good. To improve, tighten the structure: start with a clear topic sentence, use linking words to connect ideas, and avoid redundancy ("in my phone, in my iPad and in my sketchbook and all my drawings" and "improved my drawing and learning drawing"). Add a brief specific example of what you drew or how you improved.

Ví dụ: Yes. As a child I drew every day in my sketchbook, on my tablet and even on my phone. Because I practiced so often, I became better at shading and drawing faces; for example, I remember drawing portraits of my family and showing them proudly to my mother.

Gợi ý: Your answer addresses the question, but the sentence is long and slightly repetitive ("playing the piano" repeated, "trying to practice... trying to learn"). Improve by giving a direct topic sentence, then one concise supporting detail about how you still practice (frequency or a specific piece) with a linking word like "and" or "so".

Ví dụ: Yes, I've played the piano since childhood and I still practice it regularly. I usually practice for about 45 minutes every day, especially focusing on classical pieces such as Chopin's Nocturnes to improve my technique.

Gợi ý: Good use of examples to contrast your hobbies with your family's. To improve, use smoother linking words and avoid repeating 'and' excessively. Start with a concise topic sentence, then give two brief, specific contrasts with linking phrases like 'for example' and 'whereas'.

Ví dụ: No, we all have different hobbies. For example, my eldest brother enjoys gardening and caring for animals, whereas my second brother prefers playing the guitar and video games. In contrast, my sister collects makeup and jewelry, while I focus on playing the piano.

× I have tried multiple hobbies throughout the years.

✓ I tried multiple hobbies throughout the years.

The present perfect 'have tried' implies a connection to the present; the student is describing past experiences in a general past time frame 'throughout the years', so simple past 'tried' is more appropriate and matches the rest of the past narrative.

× I've tried playing the piano, the ukulele, the flute.

✓ I've tried playing the piano, the ukulele, and the flute.

This sentence mainly needed a parallel list marker 'and' for clarity; the verb + -ing form 'playing' is correct. Adding 'and' improves sentence structure and clarity when listing items.

× I've also tried crocheting and modeling clay pots.

✓ I've also tried crocheting and molding clay pots.

'Modeling clay pots' is awkward; 'molding clay pots' or 'making clay pots' is more natural. The gerund forms 'crocheting' and 'molding' are correct; choose the verb that collocates with 'clay pots'.

× However, my favorite would be playing the piano because I like the process of trying to learn how to make music and just listening to music overall.

✓ However, my favorite is playing the piano because I like the process of learning to make music and listening to music overall.

Use present simple 'is' to state a current preference. Replace 'trying to learn how to make music' with the more concise 'learning to make music'. Remove redundant 'just'.

× When I was a child, I used to love drawing so much that I drew every day in my phone, in my iPad and in my sketchbook and all my drawings.

✓ When I was a child, I used to love drawing so much that I drew every day on my phone, on my iPad, and in my sketchbook, and I kept all my drawings.

Use preposition 'on' for devices (phone, iPad). The phrase 'and all my drawings' is unclear; change to 'and I kept all my drawings' to show possession/collection. Commas and 'and' improve list clarity.

× I would show it to my mother and I remember feeling so proud every time I improved my drawing and learning drawing.

✓ I would show them to my mother, and I remember feeling so proud every time I improved my drawings and learned more about drawing.

'It' should be 'them' to agree with plural 'drawings' (pronoun error). Parallel structure requires matching verb forms: 'improved my drawings and learned more about drawing' corrects the mixed forms and clarifies meaning.

× A hobby that I've had since childhood was playing the piano, and I'm still trying to practice playing the piano until now because I like the process of making music and trying to learn a certain piece.

✓ A hobby that I've had since childhood is playing the piano, and I'm still practicing it because I like the process of making music and learning a piece.

When speaking about a hobby still held, use present simple 'is' with present perfect 'I've had' to show continuity. 'I'm still trying to practice playing the piano until now' is wordy and awkward; 'I'm still practicing it' is natural. Use 'learning a piece' instead of 'trying to learn a certain piece'.

× Each of my family members have different hobbies.

✓ Each of my family members has different hobbies.

With 'each of', the subject is singular, so the verb should be singular 'has' rather than 'have'.

× For example, my eldest brother really likes gardening and cooking and taking care of animals.

✓ For example, my eldest brother really likes gardening, cooking, and taking care of animals.

Use commas and parallel gerund forms for a cleaner list: 'gardening, cooking, and taking care of animals.' No article error here but punctuation and parallel structure improve clarity.

× My second brother loves playing the guitar and playing games, while my sister really loves makeup and collecting jewelry, while I really like playing the piano.

✓ My second brother loves playing the guitar and playing games, my sister loves makeup and collecting jewelry, and I really like playing the piano.

Avoid repeating 'while' and improve sentence flow with commas and 'and'. Parallelism is maintained with 'loves' and 'like'. 'Really loves' can be simplified to 'loves' for balance, but it's optional.