Travelling— Part 1 Báo cáo

Gợi ý: Improve clarity and structure: start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, avoid filler words (uh, like), and keep sentences concise (max 5). Add one or two specific supporting details linked with a simple connective. Also correct minor grammar (e.g., tense consistency and prepositions).

Ví dụ: Yes, I always look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. For example, I grew up three hours from my current home, so whenever I went back to my hometown as a child I would spend the whole journey watching the countryside. I enjoy noticing changes in fields and small villages along the route.

Gợi ý: Work on verb tense consistency and clearer vocabulary. Begin with a direct answer (Yes/No), then give concise supporting details using linking words (e.g., 'because', 'so'). Avoid unclear words or phrases (e.g., 'Nisha', 'kept charge in my eyes') and replace them with precise expressions. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

Ví dụ: Yes, I often take photos of scenery now because I enjoy capturing beautiful views. I recently bought a camera to photograph landscapes during trips, whereas when I was young I had no camera, so I just remembered the sights without taking pictures.

Gợi ý: Eliminate fillers and provide a coherent, grammatically correct explanation. Start with a direct statement of preference, then give a specific reason using correct vocabulary (e.g., 'sea' not 'WADA') and proper tense ('I nearly drowned when I was a child'). Keep it to two to three sentences and finish the thought (avoid trailing off).

Ví dụ: I prefer the mountains because I am afraid of the sea. When I was a child I had a near-drowning experience, so I stay away from water and feel safer in mountainous areas.

× Oh, I always do.

✓ Oh, I always do.

No grammatical change needed; this sentence correctly uses the present simple to express a habitual action.

× The one I travel, uh, when I was uh, like when I was 7, I used to travel a lot because where I was born and where I live is a bit far from, uh, a bit far, like I think 3 hours, right?

✓ When I was 7, I used to travel a lot because my birthplace and where I live are about three hours apart.

Original sentence is disfluent and has sentence structure issues. 'The one I travel' is unclear and unnecessary. Use a clear time phrase 'When I was 7' and a concise cause 'because my birthplace and where I live are about three hours apart.' Note subject-verb agreement: 'my birthplace and where I live' is a compound subject, so use plural verb 'are.' Avoid filler words and repetitions for clarity.

× So every time I go back to my hometown, I used to take bags and look around.

✓ So every time I went back to my hometown, I used to take bags and look around.

Mixing present tense 'go back' with past habitual 'used to' is inconsistent. To describe past habitual actions, use past tense consistently: change 'go back' to 'went back.' 'Used to' is correct for past habits.

× Lately, I used to take photos a lot.

✓ Lately, I have been taking photos a lot.

'Used to' describes past habitual actions that no longer occur, but 'lately' implies a recent ongoing habit. Use present perfect continuous 'have been taking' to express an action that started in the recent past and continues.

× I used to take Nisha photos a lot and then I even bought a camera to take a landscape.

✓ I used to take many photos, and then I even bought a camera to photograph landscapes.

'Nisha' appears to be an error; replace with 'many.' Use parallel and natural verbs: 'photograph landscapes' or 'take landscape photos.' Maintain clear coordination with 'and then.'

× But when I was young, I didn't have phones or camera, so I just kept charge in my eyes, all of the memories.

✓ But when I was young, I didn't have a phone or a camera, so I just kept the memories in my mind.

Countable nouns 'phone' and 'camera' need articles: 'a phone' and 'a camera.' 'Kept charge in my eyes' is incorrect idiom; use 'kept the memories in my mind.' Use definite article 'the' with 'memories' here to refer to those specific memories.

× MMM, I prefer mountains.

✓ I prefer mountains.

No conjunction needed; remove filler 'MMM.' Sentence is correct as a simple preference statement.

× Umm, I'm kinda afraid of WADA uh, even though I live uh, even though where I lived is near the sea, but I'm very afraid of WADA because I've ever drowned when I was here since then.

✓ I'm kind of afraid of water. Even though I lived near the sea, I am very afraid of water because I once almost drowned here.

'WADA' seems to be a mispronunciation of 'water.' Use 'afraid of water.' Avoid double conjunctions 'even though... but'; choose one structure. 'I've ever drowned' is incorrect; use 'I once almost drowned' or 'I nearly drowned' for a past event. Use consistent tense: past event 'I lived' and 'I once almost drowned.' 'Since then' is unnecessary with the corrected phrasing.

× I hate water.

✓ I hate water.

Sentence correctly uses present simple to express a current, general feeling; no change needed.

× I stay away from water, so I.

✓ I stay away from water, so I avoid going near it.

Original ends abruptly with 'so I.' Complete the clause to show consequence: 'so I avoid going near it.' This provides a full, grammatically correct sentence and clarifies the intended meaning.