Part 1
Giám khảo
Do you look out the window at the scenery when travelling by bus or car?
Thí sinh
Yes, I often lookout the window at the scenery when traveling by bus or car because I'm sick of watching my phone a long time. Umm, and the landscape outside the window is more attractive than my phone.
Giám khảo
Do you take photos of the scenery outside the car window?
Thí sinh
Yes, I often take pictures of the scenery outside of Orlando, especially the rural landscape and pay that's peaceful and gorgeous. I, I like, I like, uh, I like to use it as my foam wallpaper and my computer wallpaper.
Giám khảo
Do you prefer the mountains or the sea?
Thí sinh
I prefer the sea because when I look at the sea there is a sense of peace will bring up in my heart. I like this, feel it, just like it's very fresh and comfortable in my mind and for my whole body is very comfortable.
Do you look out the window at the scenery when travelling by bus or car?
Điểm: 72.0Gợi ý: 回答总体清楚,但存在若干语法和用词错误、重复词(如“lookout”应为“look out”)、犹豫词(“Umm”)以及句子结构不够简洁。建议:1) 使用清晰的主题句直接回答(如:Yes, I usually look out of the window.);2) 用一到两句具体原因支持回答并用连接词衔接(because / so / therefore);3) 避免多余填充词,注意小词搭配(look out of the window, be tired of);4) 控制长度不超过5句,尽量一句话表达一个意思。
Ví dụ: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I get tired of staring at my phone for a long time. Moreover, the passing scenery is often more interesting and relaxing, so I prefer to watch it to rest my eyes.
Do you take photos of the scenery outside the car window?
Điểm: 65.0Gợi ý: 回答有明确意图,但表达含混且存在词汇错误(如“pay”应为“place”或“part”,“foam wallpaper”不自然),重复与犹豫词较多。建议:1) 开头直接肯定并具体说明拍摄的对象(e.g. rural fields, old buildings);2) 用连接词补充原因与用途(because / so / therefore);3) 注意词汇搭配,使用常见表达(desktop wallpaper, phone wallpaper);4) 去掉重复和填充词,使句子简洁。
Ví dụ: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside, especially rural fields and peaceful countryside. I do this because I find the views beautiful, and I often use the best shots as my phone or desktop wallpaper.
Do you prefer the mountains or the sea?
Điểm: 68.0Gợi ý: 回答表达了情感,但语法和句子连贯性有问题(如“there is a sense of peace will bring up”应改为“it brings me a sense of peace”),句子冗长且重复。建议:1) 开门见山表明偏好;2) 用一到两句具体解释为什么(using linking words like because / which makes me feel ...);3) 避免重复同义表达,使用更准确的形容词(calm, refreshing, relaxing);4) 控制句式多样化,可举例说明海边的具体特点。
Ví dụ: I prefer the sea because it always makes me feel calm and refreshed. The sound of the waves and the fresh air help me relax, so I find coastal trips much more soothing than hiking in the mountains.
× Yes, I often lookout the window at the scenery when traveling by bus or car because I'm sick of watching my phone a long time.
✓ Yes, I often look out the window at the scenery when traveling by bus or car because I'm sick of watching my phone for a long time.
错误类型:动词 + -ing 形式/动词短语拼写与介词使用错误。问题在于“lookout”是名词或动词短写,正确动词短语为“look out”(分开的动词短语)。另外“a long time”前应加介词“for”:用法为“for a long time”。建议:把“lookout”改为“look out”,并在“a long time”前加“for”。
× Umm, and the landscape outside the window is more attractive than my phone.
✓ Umm, and the landscape outside the window is more attractive than my phone is.
错误类型:介词或比较结构使用不完整。原句做比较时省略了比较对象的谓语,导致不完整或口语化。建议在比较中保留谓语“is”或改为完整短语,如“is more attractive than my phone”可改为“is more attractive than my phone is”。
× Yes, I often take pictures of the scenery outside of Orlando, especially the rural landscape and pay that's peaceful and gorgeous.
✓ Yes, I often take pictures of the scenery outside Orlando, especially the rural landscape that is peaceful and gorgeous.
错误类型:介词与代词使用错误。短语“outside of Orlando”在美式英语中通常简化为“outside Orlando”;“pay”显然为拼写错误,应为“bay”或“place”,但根据句意可能想说“that is peaceful and gorgeous”。我将句子改为更通顺的“the rural landscape that is peaceful and gorgeous”。建议:去掉多余的“of”,把错误词替换为正确的关系从句结构。
× I, I like, I like, uh, I like to use it as my foam wallpaper and my computer wallpaper.
✓ I like to use them as my phone wallpaper and my computer wallpaper.
错误类型:句子结构与代词使用重复且不明确。原句有重复填充词并且用“it”指代不明确(应指“pictures”复数)。建议删除赘词,使用复数代词“them”,并将“foam”修正为“phone”(若原意为手机壁纸)。如果确实想说“phone wallpaper”应使用“phone”。
× I prefer the sea because when I look at the sea there is a sense of peace will bring up in my heart.
✓ I prefer the sea because when I look at the sea a sense of peace comes up in my heart.
错误类型:There be 结构与时态/语序错误。原句混合了“there is”结构与将来/被动式“will bring up”,导致语序和时态混乱。更自然的表达为“a sense of peace comes up”或“a sense of peace rises in my heart”。建议去掉多余的“there is”与“will bring up”,用简单现在时描述持续感受。
× I like this, feel it, just like it's very fresh and comfortable in my mind and for my whole body is very comfortable.
✓ I like this feeling; it makes me feel very fresh and comfortable in my mind and in my whole body.
错误类型:现在时态与句子结构混乱,形容词/副词用法不当。原句中“feel it”与“just like”连用导致不完整,且“for my whole body is very comfortable”语序错误。建议将“this, feel it”合并为“this feeling”,用“makes me feel”引出感受,并把“in my mind and in my whole body”作为并列短语。