Part 1
Giám khảo
Can you remember the dreams you had?
Thí sinh
I remembered that I want to be a teacher when I was child and now I'm really work as a teacher and which means that the dream come true and I really enjoy this work because I can have a lot of interactive rich children.
Giám khảo
Do you share your dreams with others? (or are you interested in others' dreams?)
Thí sinh
I rarely share my dreams with others because I scared if I fail to meet my dream. For example, I remembered once that I shared my dream with others but I failed to finish and it is very shame.
Giám khảo
Do you think dreams have special meanings?
Thí sinh
Yes it absolutely do because dream like a goal for us to achieve. For example if someone want to be a athlete and he would do more exercise and more body training.
Giám khảo
Do you want to make your dreams come true?
Thí sinh
Yes I do. My dream is traveling around the world and now I always improve my language including English or Japanese because I want to have a better communication when during the travel.
Can you remember the dreams you had?
Điểm: 62.0Gợi ý: 语音表达要注意时态和语法一致性,句子要更简洁自然,同时用连接词使句子更连贯。可以把经历分为主题句+细节句,避免冗长。举例时用更具体的描述替代模糊词汇。
Ví dụ: I used to dream of becoming a teacher when I was a child, and now that dream has come true. I really enjoy teaching because I can interact with curious children and help them learn. For instance, I often run small group activities that encourage creativity and discussion.
Do you share your dreams with others? (or are you interested in others' dreams?)
Điểm: 55.0Gợi ý: 注意语法(被动/情态动词)、时态和词形变化,表达原因时用连接词如 because, so, therefore。用更具体的例子说明情感和结果,避免口语化错误词汇。
Ví dụ: I rarely share my dreams with others because I'm afraid of failing. For example, once I told classmates about my plan to write a novel, but I couldn't finish it, so I felt embarrassed and stopped mentioning it.
Do you think dreams have special meanings?
Điểm: 60.0Gợi ý: 注意主谓一致和冠词用法,使用连接词使论点更清晰。提供更具体、贴切的例子并说明原因或结果以丰富内容。
Ví dụ: Yes, I think dreams are meaningful because they act as goals that motivate us. For example, if someone dreams of becoming an athlete, they will train regularly and follow a strict diet, which improves their chances of success.
Do you want to make your dreams come true?
Điểm: 66.0Gợi ý: 注意词序和介词使用,句子可更简洁并包含具体行动细节。使用连接词(so, therefore, so that)明确目的或结果。
Ví dụ: Yes, I do. My dream is to travel around the world, so I am improving my languages, such as English and Japanese, so that I can communicate better during my travels. For example, I practice speaking with language partners twice a week.
× I remembered that I want to be a teacher when I was child and now I'm really work as a teacher and which means that the dream come true and I really enjoy this work because I can have a lot of interactive rich children.
✓ I remembered that I wanted to be a teacher when I was a child, and now I really work as a teacher, which means that the dream came true. I really enjoy this work because I can have a lot of interactive, energetic children.
错误包括时态和词形使用不当。原句中描述过去的愿望应使用过去时(wanted);“when I was child”缺少不定冠词,应为“when I was a child”;“dream come true”应为过去式“came true”因为实现是发生在过去的事情或已完成的事实;“interactive rich children”搭配不当,改为“interactive, energetic children”(更自然)。建议:回顾过去发生的事情用过去时,注意冠词和常见词汇搭配。
× I rarely share my dreams with others because I scared if I fail to meet my dream.
✓ I rarely share my dreams with others because I'm scared that I might fail to achieve my dream.
代词和句子结构有问题。“I scared”应为被动或状态用法,正确为“I'm scared”或“I was scared”。表可能性时用从句连接词“that”或用情态动词“might/could”表示不确定性;“fail to meet my dream”搭配不自然,通常说“fail to achieve my dream”。建议:使用正确的系动词表达情绪状态,使用合适的动词短语表示实现目标。
× For example, I remembered once that I shared my dream with others but I failed to finish and it is very shame.
✓ For example, I once remembered that I had shared my dream with others, but I failed to follow through, and it was very shameful.
时态混用和词性错误。叙述过去的先后顺序时应使用过去完成时“had shared”表示在过去某一时间之前发生的动作;“failed to finish”在此语境下不自然,改为“failed to follow through”更合适;“it is very shame”形容词/名词使用错误,应为形容词“shameful”或名词短语“a great shame”,且时态应为过去“it was”。建议:注意事件先后关系选择适当过去时态,使用恰当词汇表达情感。
× Yes it absolutely do because dream like a goal for us to achieve.
✓ Yes, it absolutely does, because a dream is like a goal for us to achieve.
主谓一致和冠词及动词形式问题。“it”作为主语时动词应为第三人称单数“does”;“dream like a goal”需加冠词“a dream is like a goal”以明确名词;整个句子需使用现在时陈述普遍真理,用“is”。建议:主谓一致检查助动词,习惯性在一般陈述中使用定冠词或不定冠词根据语境。
× For example if someone want to be a athlete and he would do more exercise and more body training.
✓ For example, if someone wants to be an athlete, he would do more exercise and more physical training.
代词和单复数及冠词错误。“someone”作为单数主语应使用第三人称单数动词“wants”;“a athlete”冠词发音规则使用“an athlete”;“body training”搭配不自然,改为“physical training”。建议:注意主语someone后的动词变形,使用正确冠词以及自然搭配词。
× Yes I do. My dream is traveling around the world and now I always improve my language including English or Japanese because I want to have a better communication when during the travel.
✓ Yes, I do. My dream is to travel around the world, and now I am always improving my languages, including English and Japanese, because I want to have better communication skills during my travels.
动词形式和时态使用不当。“My dream is traveling”应改为不定式“My dream is to travel”更自然;“I always improve my language”需进行进行时或现在完成进行时更合适,改为“I am always improving my languages”并用复数“languages”;“including English or Japanese”连词应为“and”;“have a better communication when during the travel”冗余且搭配错误,改为“have better communication skills during my travels”。建议:不定式表目的,使用现在进行时表示正在进行的动作,注意固定搭配如“better communication skills”和时间短语“during my travels”。