工作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer should be more natural and structured. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then add specific details about your job role and experience. Avoid redundancy and grammatical errors.

示例: I am currently working as a software developer in platform technologies, and I have three years of experience in this field.

建议: Your answer needs better sentence structure and clarity. Begin with a clear statement of your workplace and position, then explain your main responsibilities using linking words for coherence.

示例: I work at Cloudstone Technologies Pvt. Ltd as a Junior Software Developer, where I develop applications and maintain web-based monitoring platforms.

建议: Your answer is unclear and contains many fillers. Try to give a direct opinion first, then support it with specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition and improve fluency.

示例: Yes, I think it is a good place to work because it is a well-known and reputed mid-level multinational company. Moreover, it offers convenient facilities like an on-campus shop, which makes working there enjoyable.

建议: Your answer should be more fluent and organised. Start with a clear statement of your feelings, then explain with specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid hesitation and unclear phrases.

示例: Yes, I love the place where I work because my colleagues are very supportive and always help me clarify any doubts. Additionally, the office has excellent infrastructure and recreational facilities like games, which make the environment pleasant.

建议: Your answer should be more concise and clear. Begin with a direct statement of your future plans, then explain the reasons and benefits using linking words. Avoid repetition and filler words.

示例: I plan to pursue a master's degree specializing in artificial intelligence and data science because it will help me gain advanced skills, increase my experience, and secure a higher salary.

× Yes, I'm working employee, I'm working as a software developer in the platform technologies and I have three years experience in.

✓ Yes, I'm a working employee. I'm working as a software developer in platform technologies and I have three years of experience.

The phrase 'working employee' needs an article 'a' before it to be grammatically correct. Also, 'three years experience' requires the preposition 'of' to correctly express the duration of experience.

× I'm currently working in Cloudstone Technologies Pvt. Ltd Junior Software Developer and my role is to develop applications and maintain monitoring platform web applications.

✓ I'm currently working at Cloudstone Technologies Pvt. Ltd as a Junior Software Developer, and my role is to develop applications and maintain monitoring platform web applications.

The preposition 'in' is incorrect when referring to a company; 'at' is the correct preposition. Also, the job title should be introduced with 'as' to clarify the role.

× Uh, yeah, it's for me. It's a good place. Uh, I got an on on campus shop. So it is a well known, uh, reputed company. Uh, it has many employees in that and it is uh mid level company in MNC company. So I in that I'm working. I'm really ha happy for that.

✓ Uh, yeah, it's good for me. It's a good place. Uh, I got an on-campus job. So it is a well-known, reputed company. It has many employees and it is a mid-level company in the MNC sector. So I am working there. I'm really happy about that.

The phrase 'on on campus shop' is incorrect; it should be 'on-campus job'. 'Many employees in that' is awkward; better to say 'has many employees'. 'Mid level company in MNC company' is redundant and unclear; corrected to 'mid-level company in the MNC sector'. Also, 'ha happy' is a typo and corrected to 'happy'.

× Yes, I love my, uh, the place where I work because I have colleagues, uh, with me to support the with, with the job. If I have any doubts, uh, they will need, uh, clarify anything. And the, uh, place is like, uh, infrastructure, have many INF infrastructures and many more games to play.

✓ Yes, I love the place where I work because I have colleagues with me to support me with the job. If I have any doubts, they will clarify anything. And the place has good infrastructure, many facilities, and many games to play.

The phrase 'support the with, with the job' is incorrect; it should be 'support me with the job'. 'They will need clarify anything' is incorrect; it should be 'they will clarify anything'. 'Place is like infrastructure, have many INF infrastructures' is awkward and incorrect; corrected to 'place has good infrastructure and many facilities'.

× That's a really interesting product question. I want to pursue masters in general in packing artificial intelligence and data science. So it is my, uh, future plan. So, uh, with that I, I can, I can get good salary and high package and I can get more skills, I can gain more experience in that.

✓ That's a really interesting question. I want to pursue a master's degree, generally focusing on artificial intelligence and data science. So, that is my future plan. With that, I can get a good salary and a high package, and I can gain more skills and experience.

The phrase 'product question' is incorrect; it should be 'interesting question'. 'Pursue masters in general in packing artificial intelligence' is unclear and incorrect; corrected to 'pursue a master's degree, generally focusing on artificial intelligence'. 'Get good salary and high package' needs articles 'a' before 'good salary' and 'high package'. Also, 'get more skills' is better expressed as 'gain more skills'.