工作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical errors, which affects naturalness and clarity. Try to respond directly with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words like 'uh', and use correct vocabulary. Also, keep your answer concise and avoid redundancy.

示例: I work in the maritime industry as a certified officer responsible for senior watchkeeping on a ship. My job involves contract-based sailing, where I spend six months at sea followed by six months onshore.

建议: Your answer is relevant but has some grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and be more specific about your work environment. Avoid vague phrases like 'I walk on board ship'.

示例: I work onboard cargo ships that contribute to about 75% of global trade. During my shifts, I travel to different countries, loading and delivering various types of cargo internationally.

建议: Your answer is too long and somewhat repetitive. Try to make your response more natural by using clear topic sentences and linking words. Also, correct vocabulary errors like 'shapes' instead of 'ships'.

示例: Yes, it is a good place to work because it offers daily challenges and responsibilities. I have specific tasks to perform each day, including managing operations and ensuring safety on the ship.

建议: Your answer is unclear and contains confusing phrases. Focus on directly answering the question with clear, natural language. Use linking words to explain your opinion and provide specific reasons.

示例: Yes, I like my workplace because it offers flexibility and reliable routines. Although it isolates me from the outside world, the fixed schedule helps me stay organized and focused on my responsibilities.

建议: Your answer shows good content but has grammatical errors and incomplete sentences. Use clear structure with linking words to express your future plans logically and completely.

示例: My future plan is to pass my Class 2 examinations and become a senior watch officer at the management level. Eventually, I aim to work for an onshore company where I can manage shipboard operations from the office and implement effective safety management systems.

× I am working in a maritime industry as a certificate and uh, in charge of a senior watchgiving on good ship.

✓ I work in the maritime industry as a certificated officer and am in charge of senior watchkeeping on a good ship.

The present continuous 'I am working' is incorrect here because the student is describing their regular job, which requires the simple present tense. Also, 'certificate' is incorrect; it should be 'certificated officer' or similar. 'Watchgiving' is not a correct term; the correct term is 'watchkeeping.' The article 'a' should be 'the' before 'maritime industry' if referring to a specific industry, or omitted if general.

× I am working in a maritime industry as a certificate and uh, in charge of a senior watchgiving on good ship.

✓ I work in the maritime industry as a certificated officer and am in charge of senior watchkeeping on a good ship.

The phrase 'a maritime industry' is incorrect because 'maritime industry' is an uncountable noun and should be preceded by 'the' if specific or no article if general. Also, 'good ship' should be 'a good ship' to indicate any ship.

× It's a contract business job and it's a like sailing going on ship for six months and then back to show for six months.

✓ It's a contract business job, and it's like sailing on a ship for six months and then back to shore for six months.

The phrase 'going on ship' is incorrect; it should be 'sailing on a ship.' Also, 'back to show' is a mispronunciation or misspelling of 'back to shore.' The article 'a' is needed before 'ship.'

× I walk on board ship as we contribute towards 75% percentage of global trading.

✓ I work on board ship as we contribute towards 75% of global trading.

The verb 'walk' is incorrect in this context; it should be 'work.' Also, '75% percentage' is redundant; '75%' alone suffices. 'On board ship' is acceptable but 'on board the ship' or 'on board ships' might be clearer.

× So on board shift it's like going to different countries, taking cargoes from different countries and delivering the cargoes to another countries.

✓ So on board ship, it's like going to different countries, taking cargo from different countries, and delivering the cargo to other countries.

The word 'cargoes' is less common; 'cargo' is usually uncountable. 'Another countries' is incorrect; it should be 'other countries' because 'another' is singular and 'countries' is plural.

× Yeah, it is a good place to go because my work offers good challenges and responsibilities with day-to-day life and also gives you tasks for each and every day to perform and of course to manage all things and carry out safety on both shapes.

✓ Yeah, it is a good place to go because my work offers good challenges and responsibilities in day-to-day life and also gives you tasks to perform every day and, of course, to manage all things and carry out safety on both ships.

The phrase 'carry out safety on both shapes' is incorrect; 'shapes' should be 'ships.' Also, 'with day-to-day life' should be 'in day-to-day life.' The sentence is long and could be clearer with commas.

× Select a place where I go Pippa's.

✓ I select a place where I go, Pippa's.

The original sentence is unclear and seems to be missing words. Adding 'I select' clarifies the subject and verb. 'Pippa's' is unclear but assumed to be a place name; a comma is added for clarity.

× My work gives me a flexibility and reliability with the challenges and the task and the responsibilities.

✓ My work gives me flexibility and reliability with the challenges, tasks, and responsibilities.

The article 'a' before 'flexibility' is incorrect because 'flexibility' is an uncountable noun. Also, 'the task' should be plural 'tasks' to match 'challenges' and 'responsibilities.'

× Also it isolates me from the outer world and keeps us in the fixed schedule at last given by the component under shift.

✓ Also, it isolates me from the outside world and keeps us on the fixed schedule last given by the company under shift.

The phrase 'outer world' is better expressed as 'outside world.' 'In the fixed schedule' should be 'on the fixed schedule.' 'Component' is likely a mishearing or typo for 'company.' The sentence is unclear and needs correction for clarity.

× To to clear my Class 2 examinations and to become a senior in charge of watchdipping at management level and soon to join the onshore based companies so that I can manage the shipboard operations by setting in the office and to carry out proper safety management systems throughout the.

✓ I plan to clear my Class 2 examinations and become a senior in charge of watchkeeping at the management level, and soon join onshore-based companies so that I can manage shipboard operations by working in the office and carry out proper safety management systems throughout.

The phrase 'To to clear' is incorrect; it should be 'I plan to clear.' 'Watchdipping' is incorrect; the correct term is 'watchkeeping.' 'Setting in the office' should be 'working in the office.' The sentence is incomplete and needs to be finished properly. Modal verbs like 'can' are used correctly here but the sentence structure needs improvement.