工作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答较简短，缺少细节和连贯性。建议增加工作内容的具体描述，并使用连接词使回答更自然流畅。

示例: I work as a tender project coordinator at China State Construction Malaysia branch, where I am responsible for preparing and managing project bids to ensure successful contract awards.

建议: 回答信息较多但缺乏逻辑连接，部分表达不够清晰。建议使用连接词组织时间顺序，并简化表达。

示例: I currently work in the Sanju area of Kuala Lumpur. I moved here last December after spending six and a half years working and living in Shanghai and Shenzhen.

建议: 回答不完整且含糊，有语气词影响流畅性。建议完整描述工作地点的优点，并避免使用语气词。

示例: Yes, it is a good place to work because the office is located in the central area of Central Park, which has been redeveloped from an old site into a modern business district.

建议: 回答中有语法和表达错误，且内容不够具体。建议改进语法，具体描述喜欢的原因，并避免模糊表达。

示例: Yes, I like my workplace because it provides a comfortable environment and a bright, pleasant atmosphere. Additionally, I can relax in the nearby park during lunch breaks.

建议: 回答表达不清晰，语法错误较多，信息混乱。建议简化句子，明确表达未来职业目标和原因。

示例: Currently, I am a Junior Coordinator, but in the future, I hope to be promoted to Marketing Manager, where I can take on more responsibilities and develop my skills further.

× Currently I work in Sanju area of Kuala Lumpur.

✓ Currently I work in the Sanju area of Kuala Lumpur.

在英语中，表示特定区域时，通常需要使用定冠词“the”，这里缺少了“the”。

× I arrived at Kingwell last December.

✓ I arrived in Kingwell last December.

表示到达某个城市或地区时，应该用介词“in”而不是“at”。

× Before then I was working and living in Shanghai and Shenzhen for 6 1/2 years.

✓ Before then, I had been working and living in Shanghai and Shenzhen for 6 1/2 years.

描述过去某一时间之前持续发生的动作，应该使用过去完成时。

× Yes, the office is located at the central area of Central Park, where it used to be, uh, an old Princess.

✓ Yes, the office is located in the central area of Central Park, where it used to be, uh, an old building.

表示位置时，通常用介词“in”而不是“at”；另外，“Princess”用词不当，应改为“building”或其他合适名词。

× Now it has redeveloped its uh.

✓ Now it has been redeveloped.

“redeveloped”是被动语态，需用“has been redeveloped”；“its uh”不完整，应删除。

× Yes, I like the place where I work because the office offers me a comfortable environment and bright view of working atmosphere.

✓ Yes, I like the place where I work because the office offers me a comfortable environment and a bright working atmosphere.

“bright view of working atmosphere”表达不自然，应改为“a bright working atmosphere”。

× During lunch break I can go to the park to raise.

✓ During lunch break, I can go to the park to relax.

“raise”用错，正确动词应为“relax”，表示放松。

× Since I am new to this MA with Mr. Branch, my current role is UH Junior Coordinator.

✓ Since I am new to this company with Mr. Branch, my current role is Junior Coordinator.

“MA”不明确，应改为“company”；“UH”无意义，应删除。

× In my future, I wish to advance them to UH Marketing Manager UH in in which they pay more responsibility.

✓ In the future, I wish to advance to Marketing Manager, a position with more responsibility.

“advance them to”用法错误，应为“advance to”；“UH”无意义，应删除；句子结构混乱，需简化。