工作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is informative but a bit long and slightly repetitive. Try to make your response more concise and avoid repeating similar information. Use clear sentence structures and avoid filler words.

示例: I am currently working in my father's retail business, mainly handling sales, billing, and store management since I completed my studies six months ago.

建议: Your answer is clear but you repeated 'billing' twice. Try to avoid repetition and use linking words to make your answer more coherent.

示例: I work at my father's retail shop, which specializes in women's clothing, artificial jewelry, and traditional Indian handicrafts. My main responsibilities include billing and customer service.

建议: Your answer has some grammar mistakes and unclear phrases. Try to use correct sentence structures and avoid repetition. Also, explain why you find the job fulfilling with specific reasons.

示例: Yes, I enjoy working at my father's shop because it is well-known in our community. I appreciate the flexible working hours, which give me a sense of freedom, and I find the job fulfilling since I like interacting with customers.

建议: Your answer is good but has some grammatical errors and unclear expressions. Try to organize your ideas clearly and use linking words to connect your points logically.

示例: Yes, I absolutely love working there. Firstly, it allows me to spend quality time with my parents. Secondly, I have flexible working hours, so I can come and go as I please, which reduces pressure and makes me feel like the boss.

建议: Your answer conveys your plans but has some grammar mistakes and unclear phrases. Try to use correct verb forms and clearer expressions. Also, use linking words to explain your plans logically.

示例: Currently, my main plan is to expand my father's retail business. I am managing inventory and sales, and analyzing data to decide if we should offer discounts to clear old stock.

× Right now I do work.

✓ Right now I am working.

The sentence uses 'do work' which is not the correct present continuous tense to describe an ongoing action. The correct form is 'I am working' to indicate current activity.

× I I've completed my studies like 6 months ago.

✓ I completed my studies about 6 months ago.

The phrase 'I've completed' with 'ago' is incorrect because 'ago' requires simple past tense, not present perfect. Use 'I completed' to correctly indicate a finished action in the past.

× Now I'm looking after my father's business where I work in the sales and billing section where I look up everything, store handling as well as docking, etcetera.

✓ Now I'm managing my father's business where I work in the sales and billing section, handling everything including store management as well as stocking, etcetera.

The phrase 'looking after' is informal and less precise here; 'managing' fits better. 'Look up everything' is incorrect; 'handling everything' is appropriate. 'Store handling' should be 'store management' and 'docking' is likely a mistake for 'stocking'.

× I work at my father's business.

✓ I work in my father's business.

The correct preposition for working inside a business or company is 'in' rather than 'at'.

× My father's business is a retail shop which mainly focuses on women's clothing as well as artificial jewelries and traditional Indian handicraft items.

✓ My father's business is a retail shop which mainly focuses on women's clothing as well as artificial jewelry and traditional Indian handicraft items.

The word 'jewelries' is incorrect; 'jewelry' is an uncountable noun and should not be pluralized.

× I focus mainly on billing and billing and customer handling services.

✓ I focus mainly on billing and customer handling services.

The phrase repeats 'billing' unnecessarily; removing the repetition improves clarity.

× Yes, I love myself right now, my father's job is very reputable and known in our place.

✓ Yes, I love it right now; my father's job is very reputable and well known in our place.

Using 'I love myself' is incorrect here; the speaker means to say 'I love it' referring to the job. Also, 'known' should be preceded by 'well' for correct expression.

× So walking walking in my father's shop give me sense of freedom as I don't have to walk 9:00 to 5:00 as well as I.

✓ So working in my father's shop gives me a sense of freedom as I don't have to work from 9:00 to 5:00.

'Walking walking' is a repetition error; 'working' is the correct verb. 'Give' should be 'gives' to agree with singular subject. 'Walk 9:00 to 5:00' is incorrect; it should be 'work from 9:00 to 5:00'. The phrase 'as well as I' is incomplete and unnecessary.

× This is a very fulfilling job for me as I like this profession a lot.

✓ This is a very fulfilling job for me as I like this profession a lot.

No grammatical error detected in this sentence.

× Yes, I absolutely love it. First of all, I get to time, I get time to spend with my father and my mother.

✓ Yes, I absolutely love it. First of all, I get time to spend with my father and my mother.

The phrase 'I get to time' is incorrect and redundant; 'I get time' is sufficient.

× Second of all, I can come in my shop whenever I can and leave whenever I can.

✓ Second of all, I can come to my shop whenever I want and leave whenever I want.

The correct preposition is 'to' when referring to going to a place. Also, 'whenever I can' is better expressed as 'whenever I want' for clarity.

× So I don't there is not much any pressure and I'm like a boss on my own place.

✓ So there is not much pressure and I'm like a boss in my own place.

The phrase 'I don't there is not much any pressure' is incorrect and confusing; it should be 'there is not much pressure'. Also, 'on my own place' should be 'in my own place'.

× Right now my only plans is to expand my father's business in retail shops.

✓ Right now my only plan is to expand my father's business into retail shops.

'Plans' is plural but 'is' is singular; they must agree. Since 'only' implies singular, 'plan' is correct. Also, 'in retail shops' should be 'into retail shops' to indicate expansion.

× So I'm currently looking all the inventories and handling sales and also looking analytic analyzing it whether to give some kind of sales right now to to reduce some kind of old goods.

✓ So I'm currently reviewing all the inventories and handling sales, and also analyzing whether to offer some kind of sale right now to reduce some old goods.

'Looking all the inventories' is incorrect; 'reviewing' or 'checking' is better. 'Looking analytic analyzing it' is redundant and incorrect; 'analyzing' alone suffices. 'Give some kind of sales' should be 'offer some kind of sale'. The phrase 'to to' is a repetition error.