工作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Improve grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. Use correct verb tenses and articles, and avoid redundancy. Also, make the answer more concise and natural by directly answering the question first, then adding supporting details.

示例: I have recently finished my bachelor's degree and am currently working as an intern in the banking sector. This experience helps me improve my efficiency and job performance.

建议: Focus on grammatical correctness and clarity. Use proper articles and verb forms. Provide more specific details about your role and the department to enrich the answer. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

示例: I work as an intern at Siddhartha Bank, which has two main departments. I am in the credit department, where we handle various types of loans.

建议: Avoid awkward phrasing and improve sentence coherence. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific reasons why the environment is good. Use more natural expressions and vocabulary.

示例: Yes, it is a great place to work because the environment is supportive and encourages teamwork. This helps me develop my skills and improve my performance.

建议: Clarify your ideas and use more natural expressions. Avoid vague phrases like 'beneficial things about my behavior' and explain specifically how the workplace benefits you. Use linking words to make your answer coherent.

示例: Yes, I like my workplace because it provides many opportunities for personal growth. For example, I have learned new skills and developed better work habits.

建议: Improve grammatical accuracy and clarity. Use correct verb forms and sentence structure. Be more specific about your plans and explain how your current activities support your goals. Use linking words to connect ideas.

示例: In the future, I plan to study abroad in a foreign country. To prepare, I am currently working on improving my IELTS scores and taking computer classes to enhance my skills.

× I'm currently finished my bachelor degree and I am now working as a intern worker in a banking sector.

✓ I have currently finished my bachelor's degree and I am now working as an intern in the banking sector.

The phrase 'I'm currently finished' is incorrect because 'finished' is a past participle and needs an auxiliary verb 'have' to form the present perfect tense. Also, 'bachelor degree' should be 'bachelor's degree' to show possession. 'a intern' should be 'an intern' because 'intern' starts with a vowel sound. 'a banking sector' should be 'the banking sector' because it refers to a specific industry.

× I am an intern worker in a banking sector.

✓ I am an intern in the banking sector.

The phrase 'a banking sector' is incorrect because 'sector' is a specific industry and requires the definite article 'the'. Also, 'intern worker' is redundant; 'intern' alone is sufficient.

× There are almost 2 departments.

✓ There are almost two departments.

Numbers less than ten are usually written in words in formal writing. Also, 'almost 2 departments' is awkward; 'almost two departments' is better, but contextually it might be better to say 'There are two departments' if exact.

× I am work in credit department where loans types of things are noted.

✓ I work in the credit department where types of loans are processed.

The phrase 'I am work' is incorrect; the correct form is 'I work' for present simple tense. 'credit department' needs the definite article 'the'. 'loans types of things are noted' is awkward; 'types of loans are processed' is clearer and more natural.

× The bank name is Siddhartha Bank.

✓ The bank's name is Siddhartha Bank.

To show possession, 'The bank name' should be 'The bank's name'.

× It really helps me to enhance my efficiency and performance towards my jobs.

✓ It really helps me enhance my efficiency and performance in my job.

The preposition 'towards' is incorrect here; 'in' is appropriate to indicate the area of improvement. Also, 'jobs' should be singular 'job' to match the context.

× It cooperates with different workers which helps us to improve our ability.

✓ It involves cooperation with different workers, which helps us improve our abilities.

'It cooperates with different workers' is awkward; 'It involves cooperation with different workers' is clearer. Also, 'ability' should be plural 'abilities' to match 'us'.

× I like the place that where I work because it offers me lots of beneficial things about my behavior.

✓ I like the place where I work because it offers me many benefits for my development.

The phrase 'that where' is redundant; use either 'that' or 'where'. 'lots of beneficial things about my behavior' is awkward; 'many benefits for my development' is clearer and more natural.

× It helps to create different progress activities in my life.

✓ It helps me make progress in different areas of my life.

'create different progress activities' is unnatural; 'make progress' is the correct collocation. Also, 'in my life' is fine, but specifying 'in different areas of my life' is clearer.

× In my future, I think I will be in foreign countries for my overseas study.

✓ In the future, I think I will be in foreign countries for my overseas studies.

'In my future' is better expressed as 'In the future'. 'overseas study' should be plural 'overseas studies' to indicate the general activity.

× For that I am now planning to start I'll scores.

✓ For that, I am now planning to start preparing for my IELTS scores.

'I'll scores' is unclear and incorrect. It likely refers to 'IELTS scores', so the sentence is corrected to clarify the intended meaning.

× For that I also take computer classes and other activities.

✓ For that, I am also taking computer classes and participating in other activities.

The sentence lacks proper tense and structure. 'I also take' should be 'I am also taking' to indicate current ongoing action. Adding 'participating in' clarifies involvement in other activities.