工作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Try to make your answer more fluent and grammatically correct by avoiding filler words like 'uh' and improving sentence structure. Also, clarify the timeline and avoid redundancy for a more natural response.

示例: I'm currently a postgraduate student at UNSW, majoring in accounting and finance. I've been studying these subjects for one year and I'm close to graduating.

建议: Focus on clear and accurate vocabulary and sentence structure. Avoid confusing phrases and clarify your past job role and location. Use linking words to connect ideas logically.

示例: I used to work in Hong Kong for a government department as an accounts officer, where I was responsible for managing accounts receivable.

建议: Improve fluency by removing filler words and correcting grammar. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide more specific details about why the place is good.

示例: Yes, it is a good place to work because my colleagues are very nice and professional. Additionally, the office is spacious, and there is a shopping mall nearby where I can have lunch every day.

建议: Avoid repetition and filler words. Use linking words to make your answer coherent and provide clear, specific details about your routine and why you like the workplace.

示例: Yes, I like my workplace because it is close to my home; I can walk there in about 20 minutes. Moreover, I usually go home in the afternoon to rest before returning to finish my work.

建议: Make your future plans clearer and more structured. Use appropriate modal verbs and linking words to express intentions and reasons more naturally.

示例: In the future, I plan to find a job in Australia. To achieve this, I will prepare for the CPA or CA certification courses so that I can become a professional and competent accountant.

× So I already study uh, these two major uh, already one years and I almost graduate.

✓ So I have already studied these two majors for one year and I am almost graduating.

The original sentence incorrectly uses the simple present tense 'study' instead of the present perfect 'have studied' to indicate an action that started in the past and continues to the present. Also, 'major' should be plural 'majors' to match the context, and 'one years' should be 'one year' for singular agreement. 'I almost graduate' should be 'I am almost graduating' to correctly express the near future event in present continuous tense.

× I used to walk at Hong Kong and it is a scientist part belongs as government and be a account officer.

✓ I used to work in Hong Kong in a scientific department belonging to the government as an account officer.

The sentence contains multiple errors: 'walk' should be 'work' to indicate employment; 'at Hong Kong' should be 'in Hong Kong' as the correct preposition for locations; 'scientist part belongs as government' is unclear and corrected to 'scientific department belonging to the government' for clarity and grammatical correctness; 'be a account officer' should be 'as an account officer' with the correct article 'an' before a vowel sound.

× So I'm focused on the account account receivable.

✓ So I'm focused on the accounts receivable.

The phrase 'account account receivable' is incorrect and redundant. The correct term is 'accounts receivable' which is plural and does not require the definite article 'the' unless referring to specific accounts. Here, 'accounts receivable' is used as a general term, so 'the' is omitted.

× Yes is is a good place and uh my college all very nice and professional and the working places also is very big.

✓ Yes, it is a good place and my colleagues are all very nice and professional, and the workplace is also very big.

The original sentence lacks proper subject-verb agreement and punctuation. 'Yes is is' should be 'Yes, it is'; 'my college all very nice' should be 'my colleagues are all very nice'; 'working places also is very big' should be 'the workplace is also very big'. Proper conjunctions and commas improve clarity and flow.

× Have also the nearby have the shopping mall so I can eat lunch everyday.

✓ There is also a shopping mall nearby, so I can eat lunch every day.

The original sentence misuses prepositions and word order. 'Have also the nearby have the shopping mall' is incorrect; the correct structure is 'There is also a shopping mall nearby'. 'Everyday' is an adjective meaning 'commonplace'; the adverb 'every day' should be used to indicate frequency.

× Yes, I like the place I work at because it's quite, uh, close to my home.

✓ Yes, I like the place where I work because it's quite close to my home.

The phrase 'the place I work at' is informal and can be improved by saying 'the place where I work'. The rest of the sentence is correct.

× I can walk, walk to the office around 20 minutes and every, uh, everyday afternoon I had some time go back to home, have a rest and then back to the office do the rest job.

✓ I can walk to the office in around 20 minutes, and every afternoon I have some time to go back home, rest, and then return to the office to finish the rest of my work.

The sentence has tense inconsistency and awkward phrasing. 'Everyday afternoon I had' should be 'every afternoon I have' to maintain present tense. 'Go back to home' should be 'go back home'. 'Do the rest job' should be 'finish the rest of my work' for clarity and correctness.

× My future work plans may be will find a job in Australia and I will prepare to study CPA or CA course and then to get the certificate to become a professional accountant and also wanna be a good accountant.

✓ My future work plans may be to find a job in Australia. I will prepare to study the CPA or CA course and then get the certificate to become a professional accountant. I also want to be a good accountant.

The original sentence has redundancy and incorrect modal verb usage: 'may be will find' is incorrect; it should be 'may be to find' or 'I will find'. 'Wanna' is informal and should be 'want to'. The sentence is better split into shorter sentences for clarity.