工作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Make your answer more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct small grammar errors, and avoid unnecessary words. Add one specific detail about your studies to enrich the answer. Keep it to no more than 3–4 sentences and use linking words (for example, “because” or “so”) to connect ideas.

示例: I’m currently a business management student at Putaj College. I’m studying courses in marketing and accounting because I want to learn the skills needed to run a company in the future.

建议: Answer directly and clearly that you are a student and explain what occasional work you do. Avoid repetition and fix grammar. Use linking words like “however” or “when” to make it coherent. Provide a specific example of the kind of help you do for your parents.

示例: I don’t have a full-time job because I’m a student, but when I can I help my parents at their shop. For example, I help with selling products and keeping records on weekends.

建议: Remove hesitations and correct word order. Begin with a clear topic sentence about the place, then give two specific supporting details (environment and supportive colleagues). Use linking words like “because” or “so” to connect reasons.

示例: Yes, it’s a very good place to work because the atmosphere is positive and my colleagues are helpful. For instance, they always explain tasks to me when I have difficulties, which makes learning easier.

建议: Make the sentence grammatically correct and concise. State your opinion first, then give a clear reason and one specific example. Avoid filler words and incorrect articles.

示例: Yes, I would, because a positive environment helps people concentrate and be productive. For example, friendly coworkers and clear instructions make tasks faster and less stressful.

建议: Start with a direct topic sentence about your plan and then explain specific steps you will take. Correct grammar (verb forms, articles) and use linking words like “so” or “therefore.” Add a concrete example of the type of business or actions you will take to prepare.

示例: My future plan is to start my own business, so I am studying business management to gain necessary skills. For example, I plan to take extra courses in finance and internship at a small company to learn how to manage operations and customers.

× Currently I'm a student of a Putaj college.

✓ Currently I'm a student at Putaj College.

The original uses an unnecessary indefinite article 'a' with a proper noun plus 'college'. Use 'at' to indicate attendance and capitalize the institution name. Also remove the extra 'a' before 'Putaj college'. Suggestion: Use 'at' for institutions: 'I'm a student at [College Name]'.

× I'm studying about business management and in the future I will try to open my own business.

✓ I'm studying business management, and in the future I will try to open my own business.

Use 'study' with the object directly: 'study business management' (not 'study about'). The rest of the sentence is fine. Suggestion: Omit 'about' after 'study' when stating a subject.

× As I said, I must learn.

✓ As I said, I am studying.

'I must learn' is awkward and doesn't fit the context. The speaker means they are a student and currently studying. Use present continuous 'I am studying' to express current activity. Suggestion: Use 'I am studying' or 'I need to study' depending on intended meaning.

× So most of the time I spend on my studies.

✓ So I spend most of my time on my studies.

Natural English places 'most of my time' before the prepositional phrase. Original word order is non-idiomatic. Suggestion: Use 'I spend most of my time on my studies'.

× But whenever I get a chance to work, so at that time I like to help my mother, my dad.

✓ But whenever I get a chance to work, I like to help my mother and my father.

Remove redundant 'so at that time' and use 'and' instead of commas when listing family members. Also use 'father' for formality. Suggestion: Keep clauses concise: 'whenever I get a chance to work, I like to help my mother and father.'

× So that's the time when I help my I do.

✓ So that's the time when I help with household chores.

Original is ungrammatical and unclear ('help my I do' is nonsensical). Clarify intended meaning; likely helping with tasks or family work. Suggestion: Replace with a clear object: 'help with household chores' or 'help my parents'.

× It's, it's very a good place.

✓ It's a very good place.

The article 'a' should come before the adjective-noun phrase 'very good place' and 'very' modifies 'good'. Remove the extra 'it's' repetition for fluency. Suggestion: Use 'It's a very good place.'

× The environment is very positive and all the staff is very good.

✓ The environment is very positive and all the staff are very good.

'Staff' can be treated as a plural collective noun; use plural verb 'are' to agree with 'all the staff'. Alternatively, 'the staff is' is acceptable in British English when treating staff as a unit, but 'all the staff are' is more natural here. Suggestion: Use 'all the staff are' or 'the staff is' consistently.

× And whenever I face any doubt, any difficulty, my colleagues help me to find out how I can, how I can do this thing.

✓ Whenever I have any doubts or difficulties, my colleagues help me find out how I can do things like that.

Use 'have' for possession of doubts, plural 'doubts' and 'difficulties' are more natural. 'Help me find out' omits unnecessary 'to'. 'How I can do this thing' is repetitive; rephrase to 'how I can do things like that'. Suggestion: Use plural nouns and eliminate redundant words: 'help me find out how I can do that.'

× Yes, you, because positive environments help a people a lot to focus on their work so.

✓ Yes, because positive environments help people a lot to focus on their work.

Remove incorrect 'you' and extra articles 'a' before 'people'. The sentence ending 'so' is unnecessary. Suggestion: Say 'Positive environments help people focus on their work.'

× As I said I'm a student of Apputaj College and currently I'm study about business management.

✓ As I said, I'm a student at Apputaj College, and currently I'm studying business management.

Use 'at' with the college name and 'studying' (present continuous). Remove 'about' after 'study'. Add commas for clarity. Suggestion: 'I'm studying business management.'

× So my goal and my future work plans is I would like to open my own business and that's why I get a knowledge about that how I can run my business smooth in the future.

✓ So my goal and my future work plans are to open my own business, and that's why I want to learn how I can run my business smoothly in the future.

Use plural verb 'are' to agree with compound subject 'my goal and my future work plans'. Replace 'is I would like' with 'are to'. 'Get a knowledge about that' is incorrect; use 'want to learn' or 'gain knowledge about'. Use adverb 'smoothly' and correct word order. Suggestion: 'My goal and future plans are to open my own business, so I want to learn how to run it smoothly in the future.'