工作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Make the sentence grammatically correct, concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give a brief detail. Avoid missing articles and word form errors. For example, say you are a student and add your job title with an article and a short description.

示例: I'm a student, but I also work as a cybersecurity specialist. I work part-time while studying, mainly focusing on network security and vulnerability assessments.

建议: Provide a clear, grammatical description with fewer hesitations and correct verb forms. Use linking words to connect ideas and give one specific detail about the company’s role. Remove filler words like "uh."

示例: I work for LLC Compliance Control, an international company based in Russia that helps businesses obtain PCI DSS certification. We assist clients with compliance audits and security controls.

建议: Make your reasons concise and natural; combine similar ideas and use linking words. Correct awkward phrasing and use more precise vocabulary (e.g., "suits me" rather than "it's for me").

示例: Yes, it's a good place to work because I can work remotely, which suits me well. The flexible hours and a decent salary make it comfortable to balance work and studies.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details. Correct grammar (subject-verb agreement) and use linking words for coherence. Avoid repeating the same point; expand briefly with an example.

示例: Yes, I like working there mainly because remote work gives me a lot of freedom. For instance, I can manage my study schedule more easily and avoid a long commute.

建议: Correct grammar and clarify meaning. Use a topic sentence followed by specific steps or timeline. Avoid vague phrasing like "improving US professional" — if you mean improving professional skills or studying in the US, state it clearly.

示例: My future plans are to improve my professional skills and obtain the OSCP certification within the next year. I also want to gain more hands-on experience in penetration testing by working on real-world labs and freelance projects.

× I'm a student but at the same time I work as cybersecurity specialist.

✓ I'm a student, but at the same time I work as a cybersecurity specialist.

Missing article 'a' before 'cybersecurity specialist' and missing comma before the coordinating conjunction 'but' when joining independent clauses. Add the article for correct noun phrase and the comma for sentence clarity.

× I work at LLC Compliance Control. It's, uh, international company based in Russia.

✓ I work at LLC Compliance Control. It's an international company based in Russia.

The noun 'company' requires an article. Use 'an' before a vowel sound ('international'). The original omitted the article, causing ungrammatical noun phrase.

× Uh, we and we are provide PCI DSS certification.

✓ We provide PCI DSS certification.

The phrase 'we and we are provide' is ungrammatical and redundant. Use the simple present 'we provide' to describe a regular company activity.

× Yes it is because I work remotely and it's for me.

✓ Yes, it is because I work remotely and it suits me.

The phrase 'it's for me' is unnatural in this context. Use 'it suits me' to express that remote work is suitable. Also add a comma after 'Yes'.

× It's the best format of working and my salary is enough for a good living.

✓ It's the best way of working for me, and my salary is enough for a comfortable living.

'Format of working' is unnatural; 'way of working' is idiomatic. 'A good living' is better expressed as 'a comfortable living.' Added 'for me' to keep meaning and a comma before the conjunction.

× Yes, I like because the main reason is that I work remotely and it's give me a lot of freedom.

✓ Yes, I like it because the main reason is that I work remotely and it gives me a lot of freedom.

Missing object 'it' after 'I like.' 'It's give' is incorrect verb form; use 'it gives' (third person singular present). Corrected to maintain subject-verb agreement and sentence completeness.

× My future work plans is to improving US professional and receive OSCP certification.

✓ My future work plans are to improve my professional skills and to obtain OSCP certification.

Subject 'plans' is plural, so use plural verb 'are' (subject-verb agreement). 'To improving' is wrong form; use infinitive 'to improve.' 'US professional' is unclear; changed to 'my professional skills' to match likely meaning. Use 'obtain' for certification rather than 'receive' for more natural phrasing.