工作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be clear and direct: state your job or student status first, avoid filler words (uh, so), and give one or two concise supporting details. Use linking words if needed.

示例: I work in web marketing. For example, I focus on SEO and social media marketing, which involves optimizing website content and running campaigns on platforms like Instagram and Facebook.

建议: Provide a clear, grammatical sentence with details separated logically. Mention the place and your working hours, and use linking words to connect ideas.

示例: I rent a small office near my house where I usually work from 10:00 PM to 5:00 AM. Because it is close, I can save commuting time and concentrate on my tasks.

建议: Answer directly and explain with clear, specific reasons. Avoid contradictions and unclear words. Use one or two supporting sentences with linking words like 'because' or 'so'.

示例: Yes, it is a good place for me because it is quiet and private, so I can focus on my work without distractions.

建议: Make a clear statement about whether you like the place, then give specific reasons. Use correct word choices (prefer, like) and short, linked sentences.

示例: Yes, I like working there. I prefer a large, quiet space because it helps me concentrate and be more productive.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence about your plan, then give specific next steps and a time frame. Use correct grammar for professions and future intentions, and connect ideas with linking words.

示例: In the future I want to become an architect. Next year I plan to study in Italy to learn architecture and gain international experience.

× I'm walking uh, about web marketing, for example, uh, SEO and uh, SNS marketing, so, so.

✓ I'm working in web marketing, for example SEO and SNS marketing.

The student used 'walking' incorrectly; the correct present participle for employment/activity context is 'working'. Also remove filler sounds and extra commas. Use 'working in' to indicate the field. Suggestion: replace 'walking' with 'working' and say 'working in web marketing'.

× I rent a parking space near my house I usually work at from 10:00 PM to 5:00 PM.

✓ I rent a parking space near my house where I usually work from 10:00 PM to 5:00 PM.

The original is a run-on and misorders clauses. Insert a relative pronoun 'where' to link 'parking space' and add 'from' only once for the time range. Suggestion: use 'where I usually work' to combine into one clear sentence.

× Yes, Yeah, No, it's a good place, uh, for me, uh, because quacking space, uh, was concentrated on me.

✓ Yes, it's a good place for me because the parking space is close to my house.

The original contains confused pronouns and nonsense phrase 'quacking space' and incorrect passive 'was concentrated on me'. Replace with clear noun 'parking space' and use 'is close to my house' to express proximity. Suggestion: avoid unclear fillers and use active, precise phrases.

× Umm especially I drag to big space and the silent space I like.

✓ I especially prefer a large, quiet space.

'opinion verbs' like 'prefer' are needed; 'drag to' is incorrect. Use adjectives in correct order 'large, quiet' and the verb 'prefer' to express liking. Suggestion: say 'I especially prefer a large, quiet space.'

× In the future I want to be architect, uh, so I next year I go abroad in Italia.

✓ In the future I want to be an architect, so next year I will go abroad to Italy.

Missing indefinite article 'an' before 'architect' and incorrect tense/word order for future plan. Use 'will go' or 'am going' and correct country name to 'Italy'. Also use 'to' for destination. Suggestion: 'I want to be an architect, so next year I will go abroad to Italy.'