工作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: ประโยคชัดเจนและตรงคำถาม แต่มีคำผิดเล็กน้อยและบางส่วนยาวเกินไป ควรลดความซ้ำซ้อน ใช้ linking word แบบธรรมชาติน้อยชิ้น และปรับคำบางคำให้ถูกต้องเมื่อจำเป็น เช่น 'on the road' อาจไม่เหมาะในบริบททางการ และควรมีการเชื่อมประโยคสั้น ๆ เพื่อความเป็นธรรมชาติ

示例: I work as a police officer and have been in the force for about ten years. I mainly handle investigations and community patrols, so I often help people directly. Because of this, I find my job very rewarding.

建议: คำตอบให้ข้อมูลดี แต่มีคำเรียงและการใช้ชื่อหน่วยงานที่อาจฟังไม่เป็นธรรมชาติ ต้องปรับไวยากรณ์เล็กน้อยและย่อความให้กระชับ ใช้ linking word เช่น 'so' หรือ 'therefore' อย่างพอเหมาะ และหลีกเลี่ยงซ้ำคำว่า 'often' กับ 'regularly' ติดกัน

示例: I work in the Entry and Trafficking in Persons Division of the Central Investigation Bureau. Because we handle serious, time-sensitive cases, the office is professional and usually high-pressure, so staff must respond quickly and carefully.

建议: ประโยคแรกมีคำผิดหรือชื่อผิด ('Jazz') ทำให้ความหมายสับสน ต้องแก้คำผิดและย่อประโยคให้อยู่ภายใน 4-5 ประโยค ใช้ linking word น้อย ๆ และเน้นรายละเอียดเฉพาะเจาะจง เช่น ตัวอย่างของการช่วยเหลือหรือรูปแบบ teamwork

示例: Yes, it is a great place to work. The environment is very supportive, and my colleagues are highly professional. For example, we hold regular briefings to coordinate investigations, which helps us solve complex human trafficking cases together.

建议: มีคำสะกดผิดหลายคำ ('asmophilias', 'central', 'offer') และโครงสร้างประโยคยาวเกินไป ต้องแก้คำสะกดและปรับไวยากรณ์ ให้ชัดเจนและกระชับ รวมตัวอย่างเหตุผลเฉพาะเจาะจง เช่น การฝึกอบรมหรือความใกล้สถานีหลัก

示例: Yes, I enjoy working there because the atmosphere is supportive and teamwork is strong. Also, the office's central location makes coordination with other agencies easier and provides good opportunities for professional development, such as joint training programs.

建议: มีคำผิดและการใช้หน่วยงานไม่สอดคล้อง ('Sentence Investigation Bureau' น่าจะเป็น 'Central' หรือ 'Criminal') และประโยคสุดท้ายไม่สมบูรณ์ ('checking training' และ 'handle multinational') ควรแก้คำผิด ปรับโครงสร้างให้ชัด และให้รายละเอียดแผนการฝึกอบรมหรือทักษะที่พัฒนาจะทำอย่างไร

示例: I plan to advance my career within the Central Investigation Bureau by becoming a specialist in cross-border investigations. To prepare, I am improving my English and taking courses in international cooperation so that I can work effectively on multinational cases.

× I work as a police officer and have been on the road for about 10 years.

✓ I have worked as a police officer and been on the road for about 10 years.

The sentence mixes simple present 'I work' with a duration 'for about 10 years'. In English, when expressing an action that started in the past and continues to the present with a duration, the present perfect tense ('have worked') is more appropriate. Change to present perfect to show continuity. Suggestion: Use 'I have worked' to indicate ongoing employment up to now.

× I work at the Entry Trafficking in Persons Division, part of Central Investigation Bureau.

✓ I work in the Entry Trafficking in Persons Division, part of the Central Investigation Bureau.

Use 'in' for departments/divisions and include the definite article 'the' before 'Central Investigation Bureau'. Also organizations' units are normally 'in' rather than 'at'. Suggestion: Use 'in' and add 'the' for a specific bureau.

× The office is professional and often high pressure because we regularly handle serious and urgent cases, so staff must respond quickly and carefully.

✓ The office is professional and often high-pressure because we regularly handle serious and urgent cases, so the staff must respond quickly and carefully.

Compound adjective 'high-pressure' should be hyphenated. Also 'staff' as a collective noun referring to specific employees requires the definite article 'the staff' in this context. Suggestion: Hyphenate compound adjectives and use 'the' before specific collective nouns.

× Jazz is a great place to work because the environment is very supportive and my colleagues are highly professional, so we rely on teamwork to investigate and solve complex human trafficking cases.

✓ It is a great place to work because the environment is very supportive and my colleagues are highly professional, so we rely on teamwork to investigate and solve complex human trafficking cases.

The original uses 'Jazz' which appears to be a mistaken proper noun; likely refers to 'It' or 'The office'. Replacing with 'It' (or 'The office') corrects the pronoun/reference. Suggestion: Use a clear subject such as 'It' or 'The office' to refer back to the workplace.

× Yes, I enjoy working there not only because of the supportive asmophilias and strong teamwork, but also because the office central location makes coordination with other agencies easier and offer a good opportunities for professional development.

✓ Yes, I enjoy working there not only because of the supportive atmosphere and strong teamwork, but also because the office's central location makes coordination with other agencies easier and offers good opportunities for professional development.

Multiple errors: 'asmophilias' is a nonsense word; 'atmosphere' is correct. 'office central location' needs possessive 'office's central location'. Subject-verb agreement: 'location ... offers' (singular) not 'offer'. 'a good opportunities' incorrect article + plural; use 'good opportunities' without 'a'. Suggestion: Use correct nouns, add possessive 'office's', match verb to singular subject, and fix articles with count nouns.

× I am planning to advance my career within the Sentence Investigation Bureau by becoming a specialist in cross-border investigations.

✓ I am planning to advance my career within the Central Investigation Bureau by becoming a specialist in cross-border investigations.

The original likely contains a typographical error 'Sentence Investigation Bureau' instead of 'Central Investigation Bureau' (as previously mentioned). Correcting the proper noun keeps consistency and clarity. Suggestion: Ensure consistent and correct names for organizations.

× To prepare, I am improving my English and checking training in international cooperation so I can handle multinational.

✓ To prepare, I am improving my English and taking training in international cooperation so I can handle multinational cases.

'Improving my English' is fine, but 'checking training' is incorrect; use 'taking training' or 'attending training'. Also 'handle multinational' is incomplete; add 'cases' to complete the noun. Use gerund 'taking' after 'am' and complete the object. Suggestion: Use 'taking/attending training' and include the noun 'cases' after 'multinational'.