工作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: ดีมากที่ตอบชัดเจนและให้เหตุผล แต่ควรปรับให้กระชับและลื่นไหลมากขึ้น ลดความซ้ำซ้อน (เช่น “help people directly” กับ “rewarding and meaningful” อาจรวมให้กระชับ) และแก้ไวยากรณ์เล็กน้อย เช่น "it gets to help" ไม่ธรรมชาติ ควรใช้ linking words เพียงเล็กน้อยเพื่อความสอดคล้อง

示例: I work as a police officer and have been on the job for about ten years. I mainly handle investigations and write reports, which allow me to help people directly. Because of this, I find my work very rewarding.

建议: ข้อมูลเฉพาะดี แต่ประโยคมีข้อผิดพลาดด้านการเรียงคำและจบบทไม่สมบูรณ์ ควรระบุชื่อแผนกอย่างชัดเจนและแก้ไวยากรณ์ เช่น use capitalisation ถูกต้องและเติม idea ให้จบ ใช้ linking word เพื่อเชื่อมเหตุผลกับผลลัพธ์

示例: I work in the Trafficking in Persons Division of the Central Investigation Bureau. The office is highly professional and often under pressure because we regularly handle serious, urgent cases, so staff must respond quickly and efficiently.

建议: ตอบชัดเจนและมีรายละเอียดเฉพาะเรื่องงาน ใช้โครงสร้างดี แต่สามารถใช้คำเชื่อมที่หลากหลายขึ้นเล็กน้อยและลดความยาวโดยรวมให้อยู่ใน 2-3 ประโยคเพื่อความกระชับ

示例: Yes, it is a great place to work. The environment is supportive and my colleagues are highly professional, so we rely on strong teamwork to investigate and solve complex human trafficking cases.

建议: ตอบดีที่ให้เหตุผลหลายข้อ แต่มีข้อผิดไวยากรณ์เล็กน้อย (เช่น "office central location" ควรเป็น "the office's central location" หรือ "the office is centrally located" และ "make" vs "offer" ต้องสอดคล้องกับ subject) ควรใช้โครงสร้างเชื่อมประโยคอย่างราบรื่น

示例: Yes, I enjoy working there not only because of the supportive atmosphere and strong teamwork, but also because the office is centrally located, which makes coordination with other agencies easier and offers good opportunities for professional development.

建议: แผนงานชัดเจนและมีรายละเอียดการเตรียมตัว แต่มีคำที่วางไม่ถูกต้อง (เช่น "more effectively" ควรวางไว้ใกล้กับกริยาที่มันขยาย ยกตัวอย่าง: "handle multinational cases more effectively") และควรใช้ linking word เพื่อเชื่อมเหตุและผลให้ชัดขึ้น

示例: I plan to advance my career within the Central Investigation Bureau by becoming a specialist in cross-border investigations. To prepare, I am improving my English and taking training in international cooperation so that I can handle multinational cases more effectively.

× I mainly handle investigations and writing reports so it gets to help people directly.

✓ I mainly handle investigations and write reports, so it helps me to help people directly.

The original sentence incorrectly mixes bare verb and gerund forms and uses 'gets to' awkwardly. Use parallel verb forms: 'handle' and 'write'. Also 'so it gets to help people directly' is ungrammatical; 'so it helps me to help people directly' or better 'so I can help people directly' clarifies meaning. Suggest using consistent verbs and clear subject with 'helps me' or 'I can'. Grammar problem type ID: 10

× I work at the entry trafficking in persons division, part of the sentence investigation Bureau.

✓ I work in the anti-trafficking in persons division, which is part of the Central Investigation Bureau.

The original phrase has wrong word order and incorrect terms ('entry trafficking', 'sentence investigation Bureau'). Reorder nouns and use correct terms: 'anti-trafficking in persons division' and indicate affiliation with a relative clause 'which is part of the Central Investigation Bureau'. Ensure proper nouns capitalized and preposition 'in' for divisions. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× The office is professional and often high pressure because we regularly handle serious and urgent cases, so staff must respond quickly and.

✓ The office is professional and often high-pressure because we regularly handle serious and urgent cases, so staff must respond quickly.

The original sentence ends with an incomplete clause 'respond quickly and.' Remove the trailing 'and' to complete the sentence. Also 'high pressure' should be hyphenated as 'high-pressure' when used as a compound adjective before a noun. Ensure sentence ends with a complete predicate. Grammar problem type ID: 23

× Yes, I enjoy working there not only because of the supportive atmosphere and strong teamwork, but also because the office central location makes coordination with other agencies easier and offer good opportunities for professional development.

✓ Yes, I enjoy working there not only because of the supportive atmosphere and strong teamwork, but also because the office's central location makes coordination with other agencies easier and offers good opportunities for professional development.

Problems: missing possessive for 'office central location' (should be 'office's central location') and subject-verb agreement: 'location ... offers' not 'offer'. Also keep parallel structure. Use apostrophe-s for possessive and make verb agree with singular subject. Grammar problem type ID: 27

× To prepare, I am improving my English and taking training in international cooperation so I can handle multinational cases and more effectively.

✓ To prepare, I am improving my English and taking training in international cooperation so I can handle multinational cases more effectively.

The adverb 'more effectively' should modify 'handle' and thus must be placed next to it; ending the sentence with 'and more effectively' leaves the phrase hanging. Move 'more effectively' to follow 'handle multinational cases' for clarity and correct adverb placement. Grammar problem type ID: 6