工作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and use a clear topic sentence, then add one brief supporting detail. Avoid repetition (e.g., “not a student” and “graduated” convey same idea). Use linking words like “but” or “however” only once.

示例: I’m not a student anymore; I graduated from college last year. However, I’m currently between jobs and looking for teaching positions that match my skills.

建议: Start with a direct topic sentence (past role), then give one clear reason for leaving using linking words like “because” or “so”. Remove hesitations and repetitions; express opinions precisely (e.g., “some pupils were challenging”).

示例: I used to work as a primary school teacher at a local institute. I left because although I was passionate about teaching, some pupils were quite disruptive, which made the job stressful.

建议: Answer directly and concisely: give a clear opinion first, then one or two specific reasons using linking words (e.g., “because” and “for example”). Remove fillers like “uh” and correct small grammar (e.g., “an institute teacher”).

示例: No, I don’t think it was a good place to work because I worked at a private institute rather than a public school. For example, students and sometimes parents showed less respect for institute teachers, which made teaching difficult.

建议: Give a direct answer and one or two concrete reasons with concise language. Use linking words like “because” and avoid repeating ideas. Replace vague phrases (“difficult to manage”) with specific examples (e.g., “parents argued about fees or discipline”).

示例: No, I didn’t enjoy working there because it was a private institute where students often lacked respect for teachers. Also, some parents were difficult to deal with, for example, they frequently complained about grades and discipline.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence about your plan, then give one or two specifics: course, location, and timeline. Use correct grammar (e.g., “a master’s degree,” “when I finish”) and avoid repetition.

示例: I’m applying for a master’s degree overseas so that I can gain advanced training. After I finish, I plan to return to my hometown and apply for a position in a public school as a qualified teacher.

× Currently I'm not a student anymore since I have graduated from my college, but also I'm not working either.

✓ Currently I am not a student anymore because I graduated from college, but I am not working either.

Tense consistency: 'have graduated' (present perfect) is unnecessary with 'currently' and 'anymore'; simple past 'graduated' is appropriate. Use 'because' for reason instead of 'since' to avoid ambiguity. Use full 'I am' form for formality and consistency.

× Currently I'm not working anymore, but in the past few years I have been working as a primary school teacher.

✓ I am not working right now, but in the past few years I worked as a primary school teacher.

Tense consistency and clarity: 'in the past few years I have been working' conflicts with 'not working anymore.' Use simple past 'worked' to indicate completed past employment, and use 'right now' instead of 'anymore' for natural phrasing.

× I I think I'm I sometimes feel passionate about my career, but sometimes I just think children are too annoyed so I think that's that's why I quit my job.

✓ Sometimes I feel passionate about my career, but other times I find children difficult to handle, which is why I quit my job.

Remove repetitions and fix awkward phrasing. Use parallel structure 'sometimes... other times...' and replace 'children are too annoyed' with 'children difficult to handle' for clear meaning. Use 'which is why' to link cause and effect.

× Uh, and in the past few years, I acted as a primary school teacher in an educational institute.

✓ In the past few years, I worked as a primary school teacher at an educational institute.

Use 'worked' instead of 'acted as' for natural English. Use preposition 'at' for an institute. Remove filler 'Uh, and' and maintain simple past tense for completed action.

× And I don't think it's a good place to work because you are not the school teacher, you are a institute teacher.

✓ I don't think it is a good place to work because you are not the school teacher; you are an institute teacher.

Article error: 'a institute' should be 'an institute' because 'institute' begins with a vowel sound. Also use semicolon or conjunction for clarity and avoid starting with 'And.'

× And sometimes the students did not, uh, respect you a lot.

✓ Sometimes the students did not respect you much.

Use simple past 'did not respect' to match discussion of past experience. Remove filler 'uh' and use 'much' instead of 'a lot' for concise phrasing.

× And, uh, that, that's quite challenging.

✓ That was quite challenging.

Avoid fragmented repetition. Use past tense 'was' to describe a past challenge. Remove fillers and contractions for clarity.

× No, I do not like the place where I work.

✓ No, I did not like the place where I worked.

Context refers to past job; use past tense 'did not like' and 'worked' to maintain tense consistency with previous sentences about past employment.

× The reason is that I I worked in a private institute and their students did not show much respect for private teachers like me, and also the parents of students were sometimes difficult to manage either.

✓ The reason is that I worked in a private institute and the students did not show much respect for private teachers like me, and the students' parents were sometimes difficult to manage.

Remove repeated 'I'. Use 'the students' to be specific and possessive 'students' parents' for clarity. Avoid 'either' at sentence end; restructure for parallelism.

× So that's why I don't think there's a good place to work.

✓ So that is why I did not think it was a good place to work.

Tense consistency: refer to past evaluation with past tense. Use full forms for clarity. Alternatively, if speaking generally, 'there is not a good place to work' is possible; here context is past.

× Currently I'm I'm applying for a master degrees overseas and I hope one day when I finished my masters degree I can go back to my hometown and then into into official public school and then I will be a school teacher I think which is a good choice for my career.

✓ Currently I am applying for a master's degree overseas, and I hope that once I finish my master's degree, I can go back to my hometown and work in an official public school. I think being a school teacher would be a good choice for my career.

Multiple errors: use singular 'a master's degree' (article and possessive). Use future/near-future tense 'once I finish' instead of 'when I finished.' Remove repeated words and add 'work in' for natural phrasing. Use conditional 'would be' to express plan. Use 'master's' with apostrophe (here in plain text omitted) but keep grammatical possessive form.