家乡— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer provides relevant information but has grammatical errors and some redundancy. Try to use correct sentence structures and avoid repeating similar ideas. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

示例: My hometown is Gorkha, located in the western part of Nepal. It is famous as a historical place because it is the birthplace of Prithvi Narayan Shah, the founder of modern Nepal. Moreover, Gorkha is surrounded by green hills and beautiful mountains, making it a scenic location.

建议: Your answer is unclear and lacks coherence. Focus on giving a clear topic sentence and support it with specific details. Use linking words to connect your ideas and avoid repetition or unclear phrases.

示例: I like many things about my hometown, especially the historical temples that attract visitors. Additionally, most people belong to the Newari culture, so I enjoy their traditional Newari food, which is very delicious and unique.

建议: Your answer is brief and mostly correct, but avoid filler words like 'umm'. You can improve by adding a little more detail to make your answer more natural and complete.

示例: I have been living in Gorkha for two years now, and during this time, I have grown to appreciate its culture and natural beauty.

建议: Your answer addresses the question but has grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing. Try to structure your answer clearly with a topic sentence and supporting details, using linking words for coherence.

示例: In my opinion, Gorkha is not an ideal place for young people because it lacks proper educational facilities. Therefore, most students move to Kathmandu, the capital city, to pursue better studies and opportunities.

× My hometown call is Gorkha which is located in the western part of Nepal.

✓ My hometown is called Gorkha, which is located in the western part of Nepal.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and missing verb 'is called'. The correct structure is 'My hometown is called Gorkha'. Also, a comma is needed before 'which' as it introduces a non-restrictive clause.

× It is also known as historical place because it is the birth place of Prithvi Narayan Saha modern of Nepal.

✓ It is also known as a historical place because it is the birthplace of Prithvi Narayan Shah, the founder of modern Nepal.

The sentence misses the article 'a' before 'historical place'. 'Birth place' should be one word 'birthplace'. The name 'Prithvi Narayan Saha modern of Nepal' is incorrect; it should be 'Prithvi Narayan Shah, the founder of modern Nepal' for clarity and correctness.

× Gorkha is surrounded by green hills and had a beautiful mountain.

✓ Gorkha is surrounded by green hills and has beautiful mountains.

The verb 'had' is past tense and does not agree with 'is surrounded' which is present tense. It should be 'has'. Also, 'a beautiful mountain' is less appropriate than 'beautiful mountains' since the area is surrounded by hills and mountains.

× There are lot of things but I like mostly is that their calls are because there is a historical temple place in Gorkha.

✓ There are lots of things, but what I like most is that there are many temples because there is a historical temple place in Gorkha.

'Lot' should be 'lots' or 'a lot'. 'I like mostly is that their calls are' is incorrect and unclear; it should be 'what I like most is that there are many temples'. 'Their calls are' is unclear and likely a mishearing or misspelling.

× Most of the people are in are from Newbury culture so I like their niwari niwari food Niwari calls are.

✓ Most of the people are from Newar culture, so I like their Niwari food.

'Newbury' should be 'Newar', which is an ethnic group. 'Are in are from' is redundant and incorrect. 'Niwari niwari food Niwari calls are' is unclear and likely a repetition or error; simplified to 'their Niwari food' for clarity.

× I have been living there for two years. Umm.

✓ I have been living there for two years.

The sentence is grammatically correct; 'Umm' is a filler and can be omitted in formal speech.

× In my opinion, for not young people, because there is not a proper facility of education, so everyone went to the Kathmandu capital city of Nepal for study for their better future.

✓ In my opinion, it is not a good place for young people because there are not proper educational facilities, so everyone goes to Kathmandu, the capital city of Nepal, to study for a better future.

'For not young people' is incorrect; it should be 'not a good place for young people'. 'Facility of education' should be 'educational facilities' (plural). 'Went' is past tense but the context requires present tense 'goes'. 'For study for their better future' should be 'to study for a better future'. Also, 'Kathmandu capital city of Nepal' needs commas for apposition.

× So I don't think so.

✓ So I don't think so.

The sentence is grammatically correct as a short response expressing disagreement.