家乡— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Try to avoid repetition and improve sentence structure. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Also, correct minor grammar mistakes like 'it it' and 'lot' should be 'lots of'.

示例: My hometown is Naranganj, a large city in my country. It is located near the Shitalaka River, which adds to its charm. Moreover, there are lots of gardens and parks, making the environment peaceful and calm.

建议: Avoid redundancy by not repeating 'my hometown' multiple times. Use linking words to connect ideas and improve fluency. Also, be careful with expressions like 'nature decorated it with her own hands' which can be simplified.

示例: I like the natural beauty of my hometown because it has many gardens, rivers, and mountains. In particular, the Sheetaloka River adds extra beauty to the area.

建议: Improve grammar and sentence structure. Use correct tenses and avoid awkward phrasing like 'I always enjoy to visiting'. Also, use linking words to make the answer coherent.

示例: I have lived there for over 21 years since it is my birthplace. Although I rarely leave the city, I enjoy visiting historical places and love exploring my hometown.

建议: Correct grammar mistakes such as 'lot of meals' which should be 'lots of mills' or 'factories'. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repetition of 'young people'.

示例: My hometown is popular for business because many mills and industries are located here. Therefore, young people can easily find jobs and have many opportunities.

× Naranganj is my hometown and it it is a very big city in my country.

✓ Naranganj is my hometown and it is a very big city in my country.

The sentence contains a repetition of the word 'it'. Removing the duplicate 'it' corrects the sentence structure and improves clarity.

× It is located nearby Shitalaka river and there are lot of gardens and parks in my hometown and the environment of my hometown is peaceful and calm.

✓ It is located near the Shitalaka River, and there are lots of gardens and parks in my hometown. The environment of my hometown is peaceful and calm.

The preposition 'nearby' is incorrectly used; 'near' is appropriate here. Also, 'lot' should be 'lots' or 'a lot' when referring to countable nouns. Capitalization of 'River' is necessary as it is part of a proper noun. The sentence is long and can be split for clarity.

× there are lot of gardens and parks in my hometown

✓ there are lots of gardens and parks in my hometown

'Lot' should be 'lots' or 'a lot' when used with countable plural nouns like 'gardens' and 'parks'.

× I like my hometown nature because there are so many gardens, rivers and mountains in my hometown and the nature decorated it with her own hands.

✓ I like the nature of my hometown because there are so many gardens, rivers, and mountains, and nature has decorated it with her own hands.

The phrase 'my hometown nature' is incorrect; it should be 'the nature of my hometown'. Also, 'nature' as a concept does not take a possessive pronoun like 'her' in this context; however, it is acceptable poetically. Commas are added for clarity.

× And the Sheetaloka River adds extra beauty in my hometown.

✓ And the Sheetaloka River adds extra beauty to my hometown.

The correct preposition to use with 'adds beauty' is 'to', not 'in'.

× Over 21 years I lived there because it is my birthplace.

✓ I have lived there for over 21 years because it is my birthplace.

The present perfect tense 'have lived' is appropriate here to indicate an action that started in the past and continues to the present. Also, the phrase order is improved for naturalness.

× Since my birth I lived there and I love to live there.

✓ Since my birth, I have lived there and I love living there.

'Since' requires present perfect tense 'have lived' to indicate an action continuing from the past to present. Also, 'love to live' is better expressed as 'love living' for naturalness.

× Rarely I left the city but in my city I always enjoy to visiting historical place and I love to explore visiting.

✓ I have rarely left the city, but in my city, I always enjoy visiting historical places and I love to explore them.

Adverb 'rarely' should precede the auxiliary verb in present perfect tense ('have rarely left'). 'Enjoy to visiting' is incorrect; 'enjoy visiting' is correct. 'Historical place' should be plural 'historical places'. 'Explore visiting' is incorrect; 'explore them' or 'explore' is appropriate.

× There are lot of meals and industries are situated here.

✓ There are lots of mills and industries situated here.

'Meals' is incorrect in this context; likely intended word is 'mills'. Also, 'lot' should be 'lots' for plural countable nouns. The verb 'are' after 'industries' is redundant and removed.

× My hometown is very popular for business, There are lot of meals and industries are situated here.

✓ My hometown is very popular for business. There are lots of mills and industries situated here.

The original sentence is a run-on sentence; splitting into two sentences improves clarity. Also, 'lot' should be 'lots' and 'meals' corrected to 'mills'. The verb 'are' after 'industries' is redundant and removed.