家乡— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to directly state the location of your hometown and add one or two clear details about it. Avoid confusing phrases and ensure your sentences are grammatically correct.

示例: My hometown is Dindale, a city in China known for its long history and many interesting places to visit.

建议: Your answer has some good points but contains grammatical mistakes and unclear phrases. Use linking words to connect your ideas and be more specific. For example, explain what kind of delicious food or historical aspects you like.

示例: I like many things about my hometown. Firstly, it has a variety of delicious local foods that I really enjoy. Secondly, its long history, which dates back thousands of years, impresses me the most.

建议: Your answer is somewhat confusing and contains grammatical errors. Clearly state how long you lived there and explain your move with correct grammar and vocabulary. Avoid informal phrases like 'ran to'.

示例: I lived in my hometown for about 12 years. After my parents moved to Guangzhou for work, I also moved there with them.

建议: Your answer has good ideas but contains grammatical errors and unclear expressions like 'swords of modernizations'. Use correct vocabulary and linking words to make your answer clearer and more natural.

示例: I think my hometown is a good place for young people. Firstly, it has a rich history, which is interesting for those who enjoy learning about the past. Secondly, it has many modern facilities that appeal to young people.

× Town, my hometown is in Dindale of China as she employees, you know which where has long history and a lot of interest in there.

✓ My hometown is Dindale in China, which has a long history and many interesting places.

The original sentence is confusing and lacks proper sentence structure. 'Town' is unnecessary, 'as she employees' is unclear and incorrect, and 'you know which where has long history and a lot of interest in there' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The correction simplifies and clarifies the sentence, using a relative clause correctly to describe the hometown.

× Actually, there are numerous things I fascinated by my hotel facility.

✓ Actually, there are numerous things I am fascinated by in my hometown.

The phrase 'I fascinated by my hotel facility' is incorrect. The verb 'fascinated' needs to be in the passive form 'am fascinated' and the preposition 'by' should be followed by the object of fascination. Also, 'hotel facility' seems out of context; likely the student meant 'hometown'. The correction fixes verb form and preposition usage.

× There are lots of delicious food which make me so passionate about it.

✓ There is lots of delicious food which makes me so passionate about it.

'Food' is an uncountable noun and should be treated as singular, so 'There is' is correct. Also, 'which make' should be 'which makes' to agree with the singular noun 'food'. The pronoun 'it' correctly refers back to 'food'.

× Secondly, it has long history jeans back to a thousands of years which impressed me most.

✓ Secondly, it has a long history going back thousands of years, which impresses me the most.

'Jeans back' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'going back'. 'A thousands of years' should be 'thousands of years' without 'a'. The verb 'impressed' should be present tense 'impresses' to match the present perfect 'has'. The correction fixes verb tense and phrase usage.

× Actually, I lived there about 12 years.

✓ Actually, I have lived there for about 12 years.

The present perfect tense 'have lived' is appropriate here to indicate an action that started in the past and continues to the present. 'About 12 years' should be preceded by 'for' to indicate duration.

× After my parents trained their works to Guangzhou, I ran to Guangzhou.

✓ After my parents transferred their work to Guangzhou, I moved to Guangzhou.

'Trained their works' is incorrect; likely the intended meaning is 'transferred their work'. 'I ran to Guangzhou' is unnatural; 'moved to Guangzhou' is appropriate. The correction improves word choice and sentence clarity.

× Actually, I think my hometown is a better place for young people.

✓ Actually, I think my hometown is a good place for young people.

'Better' implies a comparison but no comparison is made. 'Good' is more appropriate here to express a positive opinion without comparison.

× Firstly, it has a long history and young people who are interesting in history, it may be a best place to go.

✓ Firstly, it has a long history, and for young people who are interested in history, it may be the best place to go.

'Interesting' should be 'interested' to describe the young people. The sentence structure is improved by adding commas and clarifying the subject. 'A best place' should be 'the best place' as 'best' is a superlative adjective.

× And secondly, it contains many swords of modernizations.

✓ And secondly, it contains many signs of modernization.

'Swords of modernizations' is incorrect and likely a mishearing or mistranslation. The correct phrase is 'signs of modernization', meaning evidence or features of modernization.