家乡— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be direct, grammatical and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one brief supporting detail. Avoid filler words and repetition. Use correct grammar for past and present (e.g. 'I was born and I still live here because my family is here').

示例: I was born in Ho Chi Minh City and I still live there. I live here mainly because most of my family are based in the city, so I have strong family support and many familiar connections.

建议: Give one clear topic sentence about what you like, then add a specific detail or example. Reduce hesitation sounds (uh) and avoid vague words like 'largely atmosphere'. Use precise vocabulary (e.g. 'vibrant atmosphere', 'modern infrastructure').

示例: I like the vibrant atmosphere of Ho Chi Minh City. For example, there are many modern shops, lively street markets and lots of cafés, which makes the city exciting and full of opportunities.

建议: Answer directly with the length of time, then add one supporting reason. Use correct tense and avoid redundancy. For example, say 'I have lived there all my life' or give years and a reason.

示例: I have lived in Ho Chi Minh City all my life. I still live there because most of my family are based here, and I have established my education and work opportunities in the city.

建议: State your opinion clearly, then support it with specific reasons and an example. Avoid trailing off and complete your sentences. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example'.

示例: Yes, I think it is a good place for young people because it offers many job opportunities and a lively social scene. For example, numerous companies and start-ups are based in the city, so young graduates can find work and build networks.

× I was born and right here and now I live in this city.

✓ I was born here and I still live in this city.

The original sentence has redundant and disordered phrases ('and right here and now') that make the structure confusing. Reordering to 'I was born here and I still live in this city' gives a clear subject-verb sequence and logical time reference. Use 'here' for location and 'still' to indicate continuing action.

× I because my family is in this in here.

✓ I live here because my family is here.

The original fragment lacks a main verb and repeats prepositions improperly ('in this in here'). Replacing with a complete clause 'I live here because my family is here' fixes pronoun and word order use and provides a clear subject-verb-object structure.

× I'm really into the largely atmosphere of this city.

✓ I'm really into the lively atmosphere of this city.

'Largely' is an adverb and does not correctly describe 'atmosphere'. The intended meaning is an adjective like 'lively'. Using 'lively' correctly modifies the noun and conveys the intended idea.

× Uh, in fact, uh, the city has, uh, this city is the most modern city of Vietnam and, uh, the activity of the city.

✓ In fact, this city is the most modern city in Vietnam and it has many activities.

The original line is disfluent with repeated fillers and a broken structure ('the city has, uh, this city is...'). Combine ideas into a single clear sentence: 'this city is the most modern city in Vietnam and it has many activities.' Also use 'in Vietnam' rather than 'of Vietnam' for natural phrasing.

× To be honest, I was born and played in the city and now I'm still live in this city because more of my family are here.

✓ To be honest, I was born and grew up in the city and now I still live in this city because most of my family are here.

'Played' is incorrect contextually; the common expression is 'grew up' to indicate childhood spent in a place. 'I'm still live' is ungrammatical; use 'I still live'. 'More of my family are here' is awkward; 'most of my family are here' or 'many of my family are here' is correct.

× Maybe in the future I still live in the city.

✓ Maybe in the future I will still live in the city.

To talk about a future possibility, use a future tense modal like 'will' or 'might'. 'I still live' is present tense and doesn't match 'in the future'. Thus 'I will still live' is appropriate.

× Honestly, I have to say yes because the city is the most modern city of Vietnam.

✓ Honestly, I have to say yes because this city is the most modern city in Vietnam.

Replace 'the city' with 'this city' to refer specifically to the speaker's hometown and use the preposition 'in Vietnam' for natural English. The structure is otherwise acceptable.

× Many people come here to find work and settle down.

✓ Many people come here to find work and settle down.

This sentence is grammatically correct and uses infinitive forms 'to find' and 'settle down' appropriately. No change needed.

× This is a good place for people to.

✓ This is a good place for people to live.

The original sentence is incomplete; 'to' requires a verb after it. Adding 'live' completes the infinitive phrase 'to live' and conveys the intended meaning.