天气— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and avoid hesitation. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g. “The weather in Tehran is very changeable.”), then give one or two specific details (seasonal extremes, sudden storms) using linking words like “for example” or “so”. Keep to at most 3–4 short sentences and use natural phrasing.

示例: The weather in Tehran is very changeable. For example, we often have sudden shifts from sunny to windy or even dusty storms. Because of this, people usually check forecasts before going out.

建议: Give a direct preference sentence, then support it with one or two clear reasons. Reduce filler words and use accurate vocabulary (“scorching” not “soldering”; “snowy” not “snowing weather”). Use linking words like “because” or “so”.

示例: I prefer cold weather because I find hot, humid summers uncomfortable. For instance, scorching summer days make it hard to go outside, while snowy weather feels relaxing to me.

建议: Answer directly then explain concisely. Avoid repetition and incorrect words (“arid” is fine but avoid “drawing”; use “scorching” instead of made-up words). Give one specific reason why you prefer wet weather and an example of what you like about it.

示例: I prefer wet weather because it keeps temperatures cooler and the air feels fresher. For example, rainy days in the north make the landscape green and calm, which I enjoy.

建议: Give a clear frequency and brief explanation of when and why you check forecasts. Use correct verb forms and specific examples (apps, websites) and avoid unclear phrases like “made a bag or machine with unnecessary things.”

示例: Yes, I usually check the weather forecast every morning and before I travel. I use a weather app to see temperature and rain chance so I can pack appropriate clothes and avoid unnecessary items.

建议: Provide a clear topic sentence and then give two specific observed effects with examples. Use correct vocabulary (“milder winters”, “more frequent heatwaves”) and link ideas with “for example” or “as a result”.

示例: I think climate change has led to milder winters and more extreme summer heat. For example, we see less snow in winter and more frequent heatwaves in summer, which affects agriculture and water supplies.

建议: Answer directly and give a specific reason and an example of what you would do there. Improve grammar (e.g. “I’d like to visit the north of Iran because it’s often foggy and rainy”) and avoid repeating similar adjectives (“miserable”).

示例: Yes, I would like to visit the north of Iran because it is often foggy and rainy. I enjoy walking in the rain and exploring green forests, so I would spend time hiking and taking photos there.

× Uh, where I live, uh, it has extreme weather condition and the weather is so changeable in Tehran, uh, after that, because of, uh, this weather, uh, before, uh, we go outside, uh, the changes in weather pattern should be closely monitored and analyzed.

✓ Where I live, we have extreme weather conditions and the weather in Tehran is very changeable; therefore, before we go outside, changes in weather patterns should be closely monitored and analyzed.

The original sentence has awkward structure, redundant filler words, incorrect verb expression ('it has' with 'weather condition'), and singular/plural mismatch ('condition' vs 'conditions'). Use a clear subject ('we') with the verb 'have' for possession of 'weather conditions', make 'weather patterns' plural, and connect ideas with 'therefore' or a semicolon. Remove fillers like 'uh' for clarity.

× I prefer cold weather, uh, I can't stand when uh, the summer days, uh, are scorching hot days or soldering and uh, the humidity level rises considerably and uh, I passionate about uh, uh, snowing weather and uh.

✓ I prefer cold weather; I can't stand scorching summer days when the humidity rises considerably, and I am passionate about snowy weather.

Errors include redundant words ('scorching hot days' -> 'scorching summer days'), incorrect adjective form 'soldering' (likely 'sweltering' or 'scorching') and missing verb 'am' before 'passionate'. 'Snowing weather' is unnatural; use 'snowy weather'. Combine clauses properly and remove fillers.

× I can't stand, uh, drawing an arid climate because all of the, uh, summer days are bowling and soldering hot days.

✓ I can't stand living in an arid climate because the summer days are boiling and sweltering hot.

'Drawing an arid climate' is incorrect; use 'living in an arid climate'. 'Bowling' is incorrect word choice for 'boiling' and 'soldering' should be 'sweltering'. Fix word choice and word order for natural English.

× And I prefer wet, uh, wet and miserable weather and everything. And the weather is so calm, wet and all of the things.

✓ I prefer wet and miserable weather because I find calm, rainy conditions appealing.

The original contains repetition, vagueness ('and everything', 'all of the things'), and poor sentence structure. Make a single clear sentence stating preference and reason.

× Yes, absolutely. Before I decide go on a trip, I check the forecast and after that I. Made a bag or machine with unnecessary things and equip with necessary things and it was convenient a lot.

✓ Yes, absolutely. Before I decide to go on a trip, I check the forecast. After that, I pack a bag with necessary items and avoid unnecessary things; this is very convenient.

Tense and verb form errors: need 'decide to go', not 'decide go'. 'I. Made' is wrong tense and punctuation; use present tense habit 'I pack'. 'Made a bag or machine' is incorrect; use 'pack a bag' and 'items' instead of 'things'. Improve cohesion and punctuation.

× In my opinion, one of the consequences of climate change is mild winter and summer. And, uh, I uh, don't see a lot of snow in winter and uh, sometimes in summer, uh, have a lot of, uh, scorching or soldering summer days.

✓ In my opinion, one consequence of climate change is milder winters and hotter summers. I don't see much snow in winter, and sometimes in summer there are many scorching days.

Tense and number issues: use comparative 'milder' and plural 'winters'/'summers'. 'Don't see a lot of snow' -> 'don't see much snow'. 'Soldering' should be 'sweltering' or 'scorching'. Use 'there are' to introduce plural occurrences.

× Yes, I'm passionate about visit our north of Iran because the weather this city always foggy and rainy and I'm find rainy weather and miserable weather is so appealing for me.

✓ Yes, I'm passionate about visiting the north of Iran because the weather there is always foggy and rainy, and I find rainy, miserable weather very appealing.

After 'passionate about' use gerund 'visiting', not the base verb 'visit'. 'Our north of Iran' is awkward; use 'the north of Iran'. 'The weather this city always foggy' lacks verb 'is'. 'I'm find' is incorrect; use 'I find'. Improve adjective order and remove redundancy.