天气— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise, avoid fillers (uh, um), and give one or two specific details about pollution and temperature ranges. Use a clear topic sentence followed by a supporting detail with a linking phrase.

示例: I live in an urban area, and the weather is often poor because of pollution. For example, in winter temperatures drop to around -5°C with frequent smog, while summer highs can reach 35°C, making the city feel very hot.

建议: Start with a direct topic sentence stating your preference, remove hesitations and repetition, and give one reason with a linking word (because/so) and a brief example of an activity you enjoy in that weather.

示例: I prefer hot weather because it makes me feel energetic. For instance, when it's warm I enjoy jogging in the morning, which boosts my mood and motivation.

建议: Correct mistakes (e.g. 'driver' -> 'dry air'), avoid slang ('ugly') and hesitations, and provide a clear reason with a short specific example of how humidity affects you.

示例: I prefer dry weather because humid air irritates my throat and makes my hair frizzy. For example, on humid days my hair becomes frizzy and I feel uncomfortable outdoors.

建议: Use correct vocabulary ('check the weather'), eliminate fillers, and provide a concise frequency and purpose using linking words (for example/so). Mention one typical source you use (app, website).

示例: Yes, I check the weather app a few times a week, especially before weekend plans. For example, I look at the forecast on my phone to see if it will rain so I can decide what to wear or whether to move an outdoor activity indoors.

建议: Use accurate grammar (plural/singular), avoid vague phrases, and give two specific effects with brief explanations or examples. Use linking phrases such as 'for example' and 'as a result'.

示例: Climate change has had serious effects recently. For example, it has increased the frequency of droughts in some regions, leading to water shortages, and it has caused more extreme storms and heatwaves, which damage crops and infrastructure.

建议: Answer directly, avoid fillers, and give a specific destination or type of place and a reason using a linking word. Keep it to two sentences maximum.

示例: Yes, I would like to visit a warmer city, such as Barcelona, because sunny weather lifts my mood. For instance, a week of warm sunshine would help me relax and feel more energetic.

× Well I live in an urban area so uh, most of the days it's just polluted and during the winter it's extremely cold and during the summer it is extremely hot.

✓ Well, I live in an urban area, so most days it's polluted; in winter it's extremely cold, and in summer it's extremely hot.

Use of articles and time expressions: 'most of the days' is unnatural; 'most days' is preferred (present habitual). Also streamline repetition and use commas for clarity. Maintain present tense for habitual facts.

× Oh, I resent cold weather. It makes me feel as stiff and sluggish.

✓ Oh, I resent cold weather. It makes me feel stiff and sluggish.

'As stiff and sluggish' is incorrect here; do not use 'as' before adjectives in this construction. Use adjective phrases 'stiff and sluggish' to describe state.

× Umm, but the but On the contrary, hot weather make me feel energized, make me feel like I need to go conquer the world and uh, it's just makes me feel so good.

✓ On the contrary, hot weather makes me feel energized; it makes me feel like I need to go conquer the world, and it just makes me feel so good.

Multiple issues: redundancy ('but the but'), subject-verb agreement ('hot weather make' should be 'makes'), and extra 'it's' before 'just makes' is incorrect. Use consistent subjects and verbs and remove repetitions.

× Well although driver make my throat irritated a little but I would opt for dry weather almost every day because in the humid, umm humid makes my hair freeze and uh make it looks just ugly.

✓ Well, although dampness makes my throat a little irritated, I would opt for dry weather almost every day because humidity makes my hair frizz and makes it look unattractive.

Several problems: 'driver' is incorrect word choice—probably 'dampness' or 'humidity'; 'make my throat irritated' needs passive/active correction to 'makes my throat a little irritated'; 'in the humid' is wrong—use 'because humidity' or 'when it's humid'; 'freeze' incorrect for hair—use 'frizz'; 'make it looks' should be 'makes it look' (subject-verb agreement and infinitive form).

× Oh yeah, I do change weather occasionally, especially, uh, around the weekend when I'm planning an outdoor activity or, uh, to see if it's gonna rain or how cold it's gonna be or how warm it's gonna be.

✓ Oh yeah, I check the weather occasionally, especially around the weekend when I'm planning an outdoor activity or to see if it's going to rain or how cold or warm it's going to be.

Wrong verb 'change weather' should be 'check the weather'. Use gerund/infinitive consistency: 'planning' is fine; use 'going to' spelled out instead of 'gonna' in formal speech. Also avoid repetition 'how cold it's gonna be or how warm it's gonna be' by combining 'how cold or warm it's going to be'.

× So I can choose what I'm gonna wear or whether if I need to change my plans.

✓ So I can choose what I'm going to wear or whether I need to change my plans.

Redundant conjunction 'whether if' is incorrect; use 'whether' alone. Also use 'going to' instead of 'gonna'.

× Well, the effects of climate change has been devastating.

✓ Well, the effects of climate change have been devastating.

Subject 'effects' is plural, so the verb should be 'have' not 'has'. Maintain present perfect 'have been' to describe recent continuing effects.

× It has caused droughts and of weather shortages and extreme weather conditions.

✓ It has caused droughts, water shortages, and extreme weather conditions.

Phrase 'of weather shortages' is incorrect; the intended term is 'water shortages'. Use commas to separate items in a list. Maintain parallel structure.

× Well, yeah, sure, I would always love to, uh, visit a city with a warmer weather conditions, especially now that it's in the middle of winter and, uh, a little sunshine and warm weather could, uh, lift my mood.

✓ Well, yeah, sure, I would always love to visit a city with warmer weather conditions, especially now that it's the middle of winter and a little sunshine and warm weather could lift my mood.

Do not use 'a' before uncountable 'warmer weather conditions' — drop the article. Also 'it's in the middle of winter' is better as 'it's the middle of winter.' Remove unnecessary commas and filler words for fluency.