零食— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Try to use correct vocabulary and grammar to make your answer clearer and more natural. For example, use 'snacks' instead of 'sled', and say 'after a long day of studying or work'. Also, avoid redundancy by combining ideas more smoothly.

示例: I usually eat snacks after a long day of studying or work because they help me feel more relaxed and bring a bit of joy to my day.

建议: Focus on clear sentence structure and correct word choice. Explain why snacks might be unhealthy with specific reasons. Avoid incomplete sentences and unclear phrases like 'defying the potato'.

示例: I don't think eating snacks like potato chips is healthy because they are often fried and contain a lot of salt and fat.

建议: Use past tense consistently and correct vocabulary. Replace 'sleep' and 'sled' with 'snacks'. Also, connect your ideas with linking words for better flow.

示例: I rarely ate snacks when I was young because my grandma prohibited us from eating them, thinking they were bad for our health and could cause weight gain.

建议: Use correct expressions for preferences and comparisons. Say 'original flavour' and 'vinegar flavour'. Also, explain your choice clearly and use comparative forms properly.

示例: I like to eat potato chips, especially the original flavour. I also choose the vinegar flavour because I think it's a bit healthier than other flavours.

× I often eat sled after a long day study or work.

✓ I often eat snacks after a long day of study or work.

The word 'sled' is incorrect and should be 'snacks' to match the context. Also, 'day study' should be 'day of study' to correctly use the preposition.

× I often eat sled after a long day study or work.

✓ I often eat snacks after a long day of study or work.

The phrase 'long day study' is missing the preposition 'of' to correctly link 'day' and 'study'.

× Eating sled can give me feel more relaxed and chill after long day and also is a bit joyful into it.

✓ Eating snacks can make me feel more relaxed and chilled after a long day and also brings a bit of joy.

The phrase 'give me feel' is incorrect; it should be 'make me feel'. 'Chill' as an adjective should be 'chilled'. 'Joyful into it' is awkward; 'brings a bit of joy' is clearer.

× Definitely not eating sled is quite unhealthy.

✓ Definitely, eating snacks is quite unhealthy.

'Sled' should be 'snacks' to be plural and correct. Also, the sentence needs a comma after 'Definitely' for clarity.

× If you buy some potato chips they also they often make it by defying the potato so.

✓ If you buy some potato chips, they are often made by frying the potatoes.

The sentence is ungrammatical and confusing. 'Defying the potato' is incorrect; it should be 'frying the potatoes'. Also, a comma is needed after the conditional clause.

× I rarely eat sleep when I was young.

✓ I rarely ate snacks when I was young.

The verb 'eat' should be in past tense 'ate' to match 'was young'. 'Sleep' is incorrect; it should be 'snacks'.

× My grandma will prohibit us.

✓ My grandma would prohibit us.

The past habitual action requires 'would' instead of 'will' to indicate past repeated action.

× To eat sled or divine stuff because he thinks this not good for health and weight getting.

✓ From eating snacks or junk food because she thought it was not good for health and would cause weight gain.

'He' should be 'she' referring to grandma. 'This not good' should be 'it was not good'. 'Weight getting' is incorrect; 'weight gain' is correct.

× I would like to eat potato chips in original favorite.

✓ I would like to eat potato chips in the original flavour.

'Favorite' should be 'flavour' and 'original' needs the definite article 'the'.

× Also I would pick the vinegar favorite to protect that potato chips is more healthier than another flavours.

✓ Also, I would pick the vinegar flavour because potato chips with it are healthier than other flavours.

'Favorite' should be 'flavour'. 'More healthier' is incorrect; 'healthier' alone suffices. 'Another flavours' should be 'other flavours'. The sentence structure is improved for clarity.