零食— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Try to make your answer more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence and then add specific details using linking words to make your answer coherent. For example, instead of repeating 'when I'm getting bored', you can say: "I usually eat snacks when I feel bored or during weekends, especially while watching series or spending time with family and friends."

示例: I usually eat snacks when I feel bored or during weekends. For instance, I enjoy snacking while watching my favourite series or spending quality time with my family and friends.

建议: Improve sentence structure and clarity. Use linking words to connect ideas logically. Also, be specific about what makes the snacks healthy and how they benefit you. For example, you can say: "I prefer healthy snacks because many companies now produce nutritious options. These snacks give me energy, help me feel relaxed, and refresh me at the start of the day."

示例: I prefer healthy snacks because many companies now produce nutritious options. For example, these snacks provide me with energy, help me feel relaxed, and refresh me at the start of the day.

建议: Focus on clear and grammatically correct sentences. Avoid redundancy and use linking words to explain your past habits and feelings. For example: "Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young. I used to ask for snacks frequently, which was unhealthy, but I enjoyed eating them and having a good time."

示例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young. I used to ask for snacks frequently, which was unhealthy, but I enjoyed eating them and having a good time.

建议: Make your answer more fluent and clear by using proper sentence structure and linking words. Specify the snacks and their benefits clearly. For example: "I prefer healthy snacks that contain almonds and dry fruits. Many companies produce such snacks, which provide energy and a good amount of protein, so I like them."

示例: I prefer healthy snacks that contain almonds and dry fruits. Many companies produce such snacks, which provide energy and a good amount of protein, so I like them.

× I usually prefer to eat snacks when I'm getting bored and when weekends are there.

✓ I usually prefer to eat snacks when I get bored and on weekends.

The phrase 'I'm getting bored' is a present continuous tense which is not appropriate here; simple present 'I get bored' is better for habitual actions. Also, 'when weekends are there' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'on weekends'.

× Uh, we usually eat snacks in weekends.

✓ Uh, we usually eat snacks on weekends.

'In weekends' is incorrect; the correct preposition to use with 'weekends' is 'on'.

× I prefer to eat healthy snacks because nowadays there is a lot of companies are there who made a healthy nutrition snacks and I eat snacks like they gave me the energy.

✓ I prefer to eat healthy snacks because nowadays there are a lot of companies that make healthy nutritious snacks, and I eat snacks that give me energy.

The sentence has incorrect subject-verb agreement and pronoun usage. 'There is a lot of companies are there' is redundant and incorrect; it should be 'there are a lot of companies'. Also, 'who made a healthy nutrition snacks' should be 'that make healthy nutritious snacks'. 'Like they gave me the energy' should be 'that give me energy'.

× I felt relaxed and have an energetic body and refresh starting of my day.

✓ I feel relaxed and have an energetic body and a refreshing start to my day.

The sentence mixes past tense 'felt' with present tense 'have'. It should be consistent in present tense to match the context. Also, 'refresh starting of my day' is incorrect; it should be 'a refreshing start to my day'.

× When I was young I usually eat snacks all the day if I'm I'm always crying for snacks to eat.

✓ When I was young, I usually ate snacks all day because I was always asking for snacks to eat.

The sentence mixes past and present tense incorrectly. Since the time is past ('When I was young'), the verbs should be in past tense: 'ate' instead of 'eat', and 'was always asking' instead of 'I'm always crying'. Also, 'all the day' should be 'all day'.

× It is a very unhealthy for me but I like to eat, enjoy and enjoying and having a good timing at that time.

✓ It was very unhealthy for me, but I liked to eat, enjoy, and have a good time at that time.

'Unhealthy' is an adjective and does not need 'a'. The sentence should be in past tense to match 'at that time'. Also, 'enjoying' is incorrect here; parallel structure requires 'enjoy'. 'Having a good timing' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'have a good time'.

× Their ingredients must be almond dry fruits.

✓ The ingredients must be almonds and dry fruits.

'Their' is a possessive pronoun referring to people or things previously mentioned, but here it is incorrect. 'The' is the correct article. Also, 'almond dry fruits' is unclear; it should be 'almonds and dry fruits'.

× There is a lot of company who made this kind of snacks that gives us energy and feast very and we take protein that much that kind of snacks I like.

✓ There are a lot of companies that make this kind of snack which gives us energy and tastes good, and we get a lot of protein from these kinds of snacks. I like those kinds of snacks.

'There is a lot of company' should be 'There are a lot of companies' for plural agreement. 'Who made' should be 'that make' for present tense and correct relative pronoun. 'Feast very' is incorrect; likely intended 'taste very good'. 'We take protein that much' is incorrect; better phrased as 'we get a lot of protein'. The sentence structure is confusing and needs to be clarified.