零食— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be clear and concise: start with a direct topic sentence saying when you snack, then give one or two specific reasons or habits using linking words. Avoid unclear phrases (e.g. “when I have three times”) and filler words like “uh.” Use correct grammar for future plans.

示例: I usually have a snack in the late afternoon when I feel hungry between lunch and dinner. For health reasons, I try not to overeat, so I prefer small portions and plan to replace sugary snacks with high‑protein options like nuts or yogurt.

建议: Answer directly then justify with clear reasons and a linking word. Avoid fragmented phrases and unclear future tense (“in the future a plenty”). Give one or two specific examples of healthier choices and explain the benefit briefly.

示例: Not always. I think many snacks are unhealthy because they contain a lot of sugar and fat. Therefore, I try to snack less and choose healthier items such as Greek yogurt or a handful of almonds, which provide protein and keep me full longer.

建议: Use past tense correctly and structure your response: state whether you snacked often, then explain why it was unhealthy with specific details, and finish with a brief contrast to now using a linking word like “however” or “nowadays.” Remove fillers.

示例: Yes, I used to eat a lot of snacks when I was a child because they were tasty and easy to find. However, many of those snacks were high in sugar and calories, which can cause weight gain, so nowadays I rarely eat them.

建议: Start by naming specific snacks you like, then describe them briefly and explain why you like them or why they are unhealthy. Use correct vocabulary (e.g. “Vietnamese night” is unclear—perhaps “Vietnamese street snacks”) and avoid repetition.

示例: I often like Vietnamese street snacks such as fried spring rolls or sticky rice desserts. They taste delicious but usually lack protein and contain a lot of oil and sugar, so I try to eat them only occasionally.

× I usually eat snacks uh when I have three times or I feel hungry but I don't want to eat a lot because it's not good for our health.

✓ I usually eat snacks when I feel hungry or have time, but I don't eat a lot because it's not good for our health.

The original sentence has awkward phrasing 'when I have three times' which is unclear and incorrect for expressing frequency; this is a present tense usage issue. Replace with a clear time/frequency expression such as 'when I feel hungry or have time'. Also simplify 'I don't want to eat a lot' to 'I don't eat a lot' to match present habitual tense and improve fluency.

× I'll change it in the future, maybe eat less snack or eat more food with higher protein.

✓ I'll change it in the future: maybe eat fewer snacks or eat more foods with higher protein.

This contains a quantifier/article issue and a pluralization problem related to future plans. 'Snack' should be plural 'snacks' and 'less' should be 'fewer' for countable items. 'Food' in this context should be pluralized to 'foods' or rephrased as 'eat more high-protein foods'. The future tense 'I'll change it' is fine.

× No it's totally not healthy and in the future a plenty. Snack less and choose higher protein options like Greek yogurt or nuts.

✓ No, it's definitely not healthy. In the future, I will eat fewer snacks and choose higher-protein options like Greek yogurt or nuts.

Problems: 'a plenty' is incorrect word choice; use 'definitely' or 'I will' for intention. Imperative 'Snack less' is informal; for personal future plans use 'I will eat fewer snacks'. 'Higher protein' is better hyphenated as 'higher-protein' when used as a compound adjective.

× So it's probably better for my health for long term.

✓ So it's probably better for my long-term health.

Word order and modifier use: 'for long term' is incorrect. Use the noun phrase 'long-term health' with a hyphen when used as an adjective. This keeps the present-tense general statement fluent.

× Yeah, when I was a child eats snack a lot, but uh, it's a bad habit for long term health.

✓ Yeah, when I was a child I ate snacks a lot, but it was a bad habit for long-term health.

Subject-verb agreement and past tense: 'when I was a child eats' mixes past and present; use past tense 'I ate'. 'Snack' should be plural 'snacks'. 'It's a bad habit' should be past 'it was a bad habit' to match the time frame. 'Long term' should be 'long-term' as a compound adjective.

× So uh, this snack has high in sugar and calories can lead to weight gain.

✓ Those snacks are high in sugar and calories, which can lead to weight gain.

Original has incorrect sentence structure: 'this snack has high in sugar' is ungrammatical. Use 'are high in' for plural 'snacks'. Combine clauses properly with a relative pronoun 'which' to show consequence. Also match plurality: 'those snacks' consistent with earlier mention.

× So nowadays I'm not eating that much snack anymore.

✓ So nowadays I don't eat that many snacks anymore.

Count noun and present tense: use 'many' with countable 'snacks' and simple present 'I don't eat' for habitual action. 'That much' is for uncountable nouns; use 'that many' for countable.

× It's some kind of Vietnamese night and it doesn't have any protein or or good ingredients in there.

✓ It's a kind of Vietnamese snack, and it doesn't have any protein or good ingredients.

Errors: 'night' is a typo for 'snack'. Use 'a kind of Vietnamese snack'. Remove duplicate 'or' and unnecessary locative 'in there'. Keep present-tense description consistent.

× Everything is cheap and it's it's not good for health.

✓ Everything is cheap, and it's not good for health.

Minor redundancy and article use: remove duplicate 'it's'. Add a comma for clarity. For natural English, consider 'not good for people's health' or 'not good for my health', but the corrected sentence preserves original meaning.