零食— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words and correct verb forms. Avoid repetition (e.g., "watching films" and "watching something like").

示例: I usually have snacks when I'm watching films or YouTube videos. For example, I often buy chips or popcorn to enjoy during a movie, although I know these snacks are not very healthy.

建议: Answer directly with a clear opinion, then give a specific reason and one suggestion. Correct grammar and use linking words such as 'because' and 'however.' Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

示例: In my opinion, eating snacks is mostly unhealthy because many snacks are high in sugar and fat. However, if you feel like snacking, choose healthier options like fruit or nuts to avoid negative effects on your health.

建议: Give a clear past-tense topic sentence, then explain reasons with linking words and specific details. Fix tense and article errors, and avoid redundancy about 'unhealthy.'

示例: I didn't eat many snacks when I was a child because my parents thought they were unhealthy and preferred not to spend money on them. As a result, I rarely had sweets or chips at home.

建议: Name specific snacks and describe your preference with reasons. Use correct vocabulary and be specific about flavors or types. Keep it to two or three sentences and use linking words like 'for example' or 'so.'

示例: In my country, popular snacks include savory crackers and sweet pastries, which I find very tasty. I don't have a strong preference, so I usually buy whatever looks fresh or convenient, for example, cheese crackers or sweet buns.

× I usually eat snacks when I'm watching films or watching something like in YouTube video or podcast and sometimes it's depends on my mood when I want snacks.

✓ I usually eat snacks when I'm watching films or watching something like YouTube videos or podcasts, and sometimes it depends on my mood when I want a snack.

Use plural forms 'videos' and 'podcasts' for general references and 'a snack' for single instance. Remove extra 'in' before 'YouTube video'. 'It's depends' is incorrect; use 'it depends' (no contraction with depends). Also ensure parallel structure: 'watching films or watching something like YouTube videos or podcasts' can be streamlined but correction keeps original meaning.

× I will buy this but sometimes it's very not healthy for myself.

✓ I will buy them, but sometimes they are not healthy for me.

Use plural pronoun 'them' to refer to snacks. 'Very not healthy' is unnatural; use 'not healthy'. 'For myself' is incorrect here; use 'for me'. Also match plural forms: 'they are'.

× In my opinion it's unhealthy eating snacks but you are want and you are mood so you can just eat not just for.

✓ In my opinion, eating snacks is unhealthy, but if you want to and you are in the mood, you can eat occasionally.

Original has incorrect pronoun and auxiliary usage: 'you are want' and 'you are mood' are ungrammatical. Use infinitive and prepositional phrase: 'want to' and 'in the mood'. 'Not just for' is incomplete; replace with 'occasionally' to convey moderation.

× Create your barrier for eating snacks, but it's mostly unhealthy.

✓ Set boundaries for eating snacks, because they are mostly unhealthy.

Imperative 'Create your barrier' is awkward; use 'Set boundaries'. 'It's mostly unhealthy' should refer to snacks (plural), so use 'they are mostly unhealthy'.

× How I remember I don't I didn't eat snacks in my childhood.

✓ As far as I remember, I didn't eat snacks in my childhood.

Use past tense 'didn't eat' for past habits. Clean up word order: begin with 'As far as I remember' and remove extra 'I don't'.

× It depends on my cash.

✓ It depended on how much money I had.

'Cash' is unnatural here; use 'money' and match past tense 'depended' to refer to childhood. Also use phrase 'how much money I had' to indicate quantity.

× Because my parents decided that snacks are very unhealthy for your health and they are didn't want to waste their money for snacks because it's very unhealthy.

✓ Because my parents decided that snacks were very unhealthy for our health and they didn't want to waste money on snacks since they considered them unhealthy.

Shift to past tense 'were' and 'didn't' for past decisions. Use 'our health' or 'my health' rather than 'your'. Remove awkward 'they are didn't' and use 'didn't want'. Use 'waste money on' rather than 'waste their money for'. Clarify reference with 'them'.

× Well in my country we have some popular snacks like lace and fun and they are very tasty.

✓ Well, in my country we have some popular snacks like Lace and Fun, and they are very tasty.

Add comma after 'Well'. Treat 'Lace' and 'Fun' as snack names (capitalized) and use commas for clarity. Grammar is okay otherwise.

× I think so most people buy this snack and I don't have specific taste of snacks so I will buy anyway.

✓ I think most people buy these snacks, and I don't have specific tastes, so I will buy them anyway.

Use 'most people' without 'so', plural 'these snacks' and 'tastes' (preferences). Use 'them' to refer back to snacks. Add comma before 'so'.