零食— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答は自然で明確ですが、やや形式的で冗長な表現があり、具体性を少し加えることで説得力が増します。例えば「どのくらいの頻度か」「どんな甘いものか」「どうして集中できると感じるか」を短く具体的に補足してください。また文数は5文以内に保ち、接続詞（for example, because, so）を使って論理をつなぎましょう。

示例: I usually avoid snacks, but I have a small sugary treat or a sweet drink just before studying. For example, I might have a chocolate square or a can of cola once or twice a week. I find the quick sugar boost helps me feel more alert, so I can focus better for an hour or so.

建议: 論理は明瞭で適切な語彙が使われています。改善点は具体例や個人的な習慣（frequencyやどんな時に食べるか）を加えて、より説得力を持たせることです。また“depends on”の理由を一文で補強すると良いです。

示例: I think it depends on the amount and type of snacks. For instance, eating too many salty or sugary snacks can cause weight gain and high blood pressure, but a small portion of nuts or fruit can give quick energy and improve concentration during study sessions.

建议: 回答は自然で具体的、構成も良好です。より印象的にするために頻度（e.g., once a week）や当時の感情を一文で加えると良いでしょう。接続詞（but, because）を使った流れも適切です。

示例: Yes, I did. I loved a wide variety of snacks, from salty chips to sweet chocolates, but I only had them on special occasions because my mother, who is a doctor, set strict limits. I remember feeling excited whenever I was allowed a treat.

建议: 内容は具体的で目的（勉強前に食べる）も明確ですが、文のつながりをスムーズにし、語彙を少し改善すると更に良くなります。例えば“dried pineapple”のような正しい形や、“affordable”など違った語を使うと自然です。また一文にまとめて接続詞を使う練習をしてください。

示例: My favourite snacks are dried fruits, such as dried pineapple or mango. They are affordable and relatively healthy, so I often eat a small portion before studying to get a quick energy boost.

× I often have a small sugary snack or a sweet drink to help me concentrate on my study.

✓ I often have a small sugary snack or a sweet drink to help me concentrate on my studies.

The noun 'study' in this context should be pluralized to 'studies' because we refer to the general activity of studying. Use 'my studies' when talking about one's ongoing academic efforts. Suggestion: use 'my studies' or 'studying' as alternatives, e.g., 'to help me concentrate on studying.' (Japanese: この文脈では 'study' は学業全般を指すため複数形 'studies' を使うのが自然です。'to help me concentrate on studying' のようにも言えます。)

× But I didn't eat them very often because my mother, who's a doctor, put strict limits on how much I could eat them.

✓ But I didn't eat them very often because my mother, who is a doctor, put strict limits on how much I could eat.

The clause 'how much I could eat them' incorrectly repeats the object pronoun 'them' after 'how much'. The correct structure is 'how much I could eat' since 'how much' already quantifies the snacks. Also 'who's' in formal speech is acceptable but 'who is' is clearer. Suggestion: remove the redundant 'them'. (Japanese: 'how much I could eat them' は目的語が重複しているため不要な 'them' を削除し、'how much I could eat' とするのが正しいです。)

× I would say dry fruits are my favorite snacks.

✓ I would say dried fruit is my favorite snack.

In English, 'dried fruit' is generally treated as an uncountable noun referring to fruit that has been dried; 'dry fruits' is uncommon. Also 'favorite snack' as singular sounds more natural when referring to a category. Suggestion: use 'dried fruit' or list specific items, e.g., 'I would say dried fruit is my favorite snack.' (Japanese: 'dry fruits' は不自然で、乾燥果物は通常不可算名詞 'dried fruit' と表現し、単数の 'my favorite snack' が自然です。)

× For example pineapple or mango dried fruits.

✓ For example, dried pineapple or mango.

The original phrase is a sentence fragment and the word order is awkward. 'For example' should be followed by examples in a parallel and concise form. 'Dried pineapple or mango' correctly orders adjective + noun and removes redundancy. Suggestion: make it 'For example, dried pineapple or mango.' (Japanese: 元の文は断片で語順が不自然です。'For example, dried pineapple or mango.' のように形容詞＋名詞の順で並べると自然になります。)