记忆— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise, correct grammar and remove fillers. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and hesitations.

示例: Not really. I have a poor memory and struggled with memorising facts and dates at school, so I still find it hard to remember daily tasks. Therefore, I usually write things down in a notebook to avoid forgetting them.

建议: Provide a clear past-tense account with one concise detail and a short consequence. Use linking words (for example, "for instance" or "as a result") and correct verb forms.

示例: Yes. For instance, when I was at school I forgot the date of my final exams and, as a result, I missed two important tests. That experience taught me to use reminders.

建议: Open with a direct topic sentence, then give specific examples of what you must remember and use linking words to connect ideas. Avoid colloquial fillers or clichés unless briefly and appropriately used.

示例: As a freelance graphic designer, I need to remember client communications and deadlines. For example, I often have to reply to emails and submit drafts on time, so I set reminders or flag important messages to avoid missing tasks.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence then list specific methods and explain briefly how they help, using linking words for coherence. Avoid vague language and reduce hesitations.

示例: I use several methods to remember important things. For instance, I keep a journal for notes, set reminders in my phone calendar, and highlight key dates on a physical calendar, which helps me stay organised and avoid missing deadlines.

× No, I'm afraid I have a poor memory and even back in the school I I always struggled with, uh, memorizing facts and dates and to this day I find it hard to remember my daily tasks event and so I have to write them down.

✓ No, I'm afraid I have a poor memory, and even back in school I always struggled with memorizing facts and dates, and to this day I find it hard to remember my daily tasks and events, so I have to write them down.

This sentence contains tense and phrasing issues: 'back in the school' is awkward; use 'back in school'. There is an extra 'I'. 'always struggled' is past but fits with 'back in school' and the present result uses 'to this day I find' which is correct — combine clauses with consistent punctuation. 'tasks event' is incorrect word order and missing plural; change to 'tasks and events'. Remove filler 'uh' and streamline punctuation. Suggestion: break into clearer clauses and ensure nouns are plural when needed and tense matches context.

× Well, yeah, I still can't believe how that happened. But once when I was in a school, I forget the date of my final exams and I missed two of my exams.

✓ Well, yeah, I still can't believe how that happened. But once when I was in school, I forgot the date of my final exams and missed two of them.

The clause describes a past event, so use past tense 'forgot' rather than present 'forget'. 'in a school' is unnatural for general schooling experience; use 'in school'. Also avoid repeating the subject 'I' before 'missed two of them' since it's clear. Suggestion: use past simple for completed past actions and concise phrasing.

× Well, I've worked as a freelance graphic designer, so most of the time I receive these emails or messages from my clients that if I view them and don't answer them right away, I may just forget about them.

✓ Well, I've worked as a freelance graphic designer, so most of the time I receive emails or messages from my clients; if I view them and don't answer right away, I may just forget about them.

Tense is mostly acceptable, but wording and clause structure need correction. 'these emails or messages' can be simplified to 'emails or messages'. The relative clause 'that if I view them...' is ungrammatical; use a conditional clause introduced by 'if' separated by a semicolon or comma. Keep verb tenses consistent: 'receive' (present simple for habitual actions) with conditional 'if I view... don't answer... may forget'. Suggestion: simplify noun phrases and correct clause connectors.

× I do have a journal that I take notes in and sometimes I use the apps on my phone to put reminders and like highlight.

✓ I do have a journal that I take notes in, and sometimes I use apps on my phone to set reminders and highlight things.

Article and word-choice issues: 'the apps' implies specific apps previously mentioned; use 'apps' for general. 'put reminders' is awkward; use 'set reminders'. 'and like highlight' is filler and unclear — specify 'highlight things' or 'highlight dates'. Suggestion: remove filler 'like', choose precise verbs, and use articles appropriately.

× I even highlight dates and a physical calendar, the important ones.

✓ I even highlight important dates on a physical calendar.

Preposition and word order are incorrect: you highlight dates 'on' a calendar, not 'and a physical calendar'. The phrase 'the important ones' is misplaced; place adjective 'important' before 'dates'. Suggestion: reorder to 'highlight important dates on a physical calendar' for clarity and correct preposition use.