记忆— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and clearer: start with a direct topic sentence (Yes/No + brief reason), then add one specific example. Reduce repetition and avoid unclear phrases (e.g. "while when I was styled"). Use linking words to connect ideas.

示例: Yes, I am good at memorising certain things because I can easily recall past experiences and events. For example, I remember details from extracurricular activities at school, such as the order of songs we performed in a concert. Therefore, even if I don't memorise written passages well, I can remember practical, personal experiences clearly.

建议: Answer directly and give one specific example with a brief reason and result. Avoid filler words (umm, uh) and repetition. Use a linking word to explain cause or consequence.

示例: Yes, I have forgotten important things occasionally. For instance, once I left my textbooks at home before an important exam, which made me anxious and forced me to borrow materials from a classmate. Because I was distracted that morning, I now check my bag the night before to avoid similar problems.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence about a specific daily reminder, then explain why and how you manage it. Use correct grammar (e.g. "I need to remember not to hurry") and avoid awkward phrasing. Keep it to two or three sentences and use linking words like "because" or "so".

示例: I need to remember not to rush my tasks and to stay calm each day because hurrying makes me forget things and feel nervous. For example, I plan my morning routine and set reminders on my phone so I can do things slowly and avoid mistakes.

建议: Provide a structured answer: state the main method first, then give one or two specific examples and a brief explanation of effectiveness. Correct word choice (diary, not diet) and remove repetition. Use linking words like "for example" or "so".

示例: I usually write things down to remember important tasks. For example, I keep a diary for long-term plans and use the Notes app on my phone for quick reminders, so I always have access to my lists when I'm out.

× I'm actually good at memorizing things, especially about the old memories while when I was styled and comparing back then to now, I'm good at it.

✓ I'm actually good at memorizing things, especially old memories from when I was younger; I like comparing the past to now.

The original sentence uses 'styled' incorrectly; likely the student meant 'younger' or 'was a child'. 'Styled' is not the correct past participle for age or state. Also the clause order and connectors are awkward. Use 'from when I was younger' (correct prepositional phrase) and 'comparing the past to now' for clarity. Suggestion: replace incorrect word with appropriate age descriptor and simplify the clauses.

× I'm not at reading things, like not in book things, but about extracurricular activities.

✓ I'm not good at reading things, like books, but I am better at remembering extracurricular activities.

The phrase 'in book things' is incorrect; use the noun 'books' without a definite article. Also 'I'm not at reading' is ungrammatical; use 'not good at reading'. Improve collocation and article usage by saying 'books'.

× I would say because, umm, in many cases I've forgotten something about taking books or taking pencils in school, which was really important.

✓ I would say that, in many cases, I've forgotten to bring books or pencils to school, which was really important.

'Forgotten something about taking books' is awkward and mixes forms. Use 'forgotten to bring' (infinitive after forget meaning failed action) and keep present perfect 'I've forgotten' to indicate past occurrences relevant now. Also add 'to' for 'to school' and adjust word order.

× Umm, sometimes, yes. I'm not a clumsy person, but sometimes I forgot minor things like, uh, uh, minor important things.

✓ Umm, sometimes, yes. I'm not a clumsy person, but sometimes I forget minor things, like small but important items.

Use present tense 'forget' to match habitual action. 'Minor important things' is awkward — use 'small but important items' for clear quantifier and adjective order. Also avoid repeating 'minor'.

× I need to remember that I do not have to hurry and take everything's calmly without being clumsy as I am, as I am, umm, very quite nervous persons in front of everyone.

✓ I need to remember that I do not have to hurry and should take everything calmly without being clumsy, because I get quite nervous in front of people.

'Everything's calmly' is incorrect: adverb 'calmly' should modify the verb and possessive 'everything's' is wrong. 'Persons' is inappropriate; use 'people'. Also simplify repeated phrases and use 'should' or a simple infinitive to express advice. Correct pronoun/reference and noun choice.

× I would love to be calm in the care.

✓ I would like to be calm in those situations.

'In the care' is unclear and likely a misuse; perhaps the speaker meant 'in those cases' or 'in those situations'. Replace with a clear noun phrase. 'Would like' is more natural than 'would love' for this context.

× I make notes of that important things like I have a diary or when I don't have that diet, I used to write in the Notes app which is still in my phone.

✓ I make notes of important things: I keep a diary, or if I don't have one, I write in the Notes app on my phone.

'Make notes of that important things' has incorrect determiner and plural agreement; use 'important things' without 'that'. 'Diet' is a wrong word; context indicates 'diary'. 'Used to write' implies past habit; use present tense 'I write' or 'I write in the Notes app' to describe current practice. Also 'in my phone' -> 'on my phone'.

× And now also when I have when I'm going somewhere and there is something important going on, I just take out my phone and start to write in the note app to.

✓ Now, when I'm going somewhere and something important comes up, I take out my phone and start writing in the Notes app.

Remove extra 'when I have when' duplication and use 'comes up' for events. Use gerund 'writing' after 'start'. 'Note app' should be 'Notes app' and no trailing 'to'. Also adjust article usage and word order for naturalness.