巧克力— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is generally clear but can be improved by avoiding redundancy and making sentences more natural. For example, instead of repeating 'I like eating chocolates a lot' and 'I enjoy OK', you can say 'I have loved chocolates since childhood, especially dark chocolates and Dairy Milk. My favorite is Raffaello, which always makes me happy.'

示例: I have loved chocolates since childhood, especially dark chocolates and Dairy Milk. My favorite is Raffaello, which always makes me happy.

建议: Your answer is a bit repetitive and some sentences are unclear. Try to be more concise and use linking words to connect ideas. For example, you can say 'I usually eat chocolate once or twice a day. When I receive chocolates from abroad, I finish them within two or three days because I really enjoy them.'

示例: I usually eat chocolate once or twice a day. When I receive chocolates from abroad, I finish them within two or three days because I really enjoy them.

建议: Your answer is understandable but can be improved by making it more natural and avoiding awkward phrases like 'at my present'. You can say 'Yes, I often ate chocolate as a kid, but now I eat even more because it makes me happy.'

示例: Yes, I often ate chocolate as a kid, but now I eat even more because it makes me happy.

建议: Your answer has some unclear and awkward parts. Try to organize your ideas clearly and use linking words. For example, 'I think chocolate is popular worldwide because it makes people happy and has a unique taste. Moreover, people often give chocolates as gifts or enjoy them during celebrations.'

示例: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because it makes people happy and has a unique taste. Moreover, people often give chocolates as gifts or enjoy them during celebrations.

建议: Your answer is a bit confusing and has some errors. Try to be clear and use correct vocabulary. For example, 'My favorite flavor is dark chocolate, especially with coconut. However, I prefer Dairy Milk because it is affordable, while Raffaello is more expensive.'

示例: My favorite flavor is dark chocolate, especially with coconut. However, I prefer Dairy Milk because it is affordable, while Raffaello is more expensive.

建议: Your answer is clear but can be improved by using more natural expressions and linking words. For example, 'Yes, I think chocolate makes a good gift because it brings joy to people's faces. Although not everyone likes chocolate, it is a great choice for those who do.'

示例: Yes, I think chocolate makes a good gift because it brings joy to people's faces. Although not everyone likes chocolate, it is a great choice for those who do.

× Yes, I like eating chocolates a lot because since my childhood I have eaten lots of chocolate.

✓ Yes, I like eating chocolate a lot because since my childhood I have eaten lots of chocolate.

The word 'chocolates' is plural, but here it is used to refer to chocolate in general, which is uncountable. Therefore, 'chocolate' should be used instead of 'chocolates'.

× Mainly I like dark chocolates and Dairy Milk.

✓ Mainly I like dark chocolate and Dairy Milk.

'Dark chocolate' is an uncountable noun when referring to the substance in general, so 'chocolates' should be 'chocolate'.

× Every time I get chocolate to eat I become happy and I enjoy OK.

✓ Every time I get chocolate to eat, I become happy and I enjoy it.

The phrase 'I enjoy OK' is incorrect; 'OK' is not appropriate here. Adding 'it' clarifies what is enjoyed. Also, a comma is needed after the introductory phrase.

× I often eat chocolate a day.

✓ I often eat chocolate once a day.

The phrase 'eat chocolate a day' is incomplete and unclear. Adding 'once' clarifies the frequency. Also, 'chocolate' is uncountable here.

× If someone has send those from the abroad countries, then I literally finish all those packets within the two or three days.

✓ If someone has sent those from abroad, then I literally finish all those packets within two or three days.

The past participle of 'send' is 'sent', not 'send'. Also, 'the abroad countries' is incorrect; 'abroad' alone suffices. 'The' before 'two or three days' is unnecessary.

× But I usually eat chocolates once or twice a day.

✓ But I usually eat chocolate once or twice a day.

When referring to chocolate in general, it is uncountable, so 'chocolates' should be 'chocolate'.

× Yes, I often used to eat chocolate when I was a kid, but right now at my present I eat more chocolates as they keep me more happy and I enjoy eating chocolate.

✓ Yes, I often used to eat chocolate when I was a kid, but right now I eat more chocolate as it makes me happier and I enjoy eating chocolate.

'Chocolates' should be 'chocolate' as it is uncountable. 'Keep me more happy' is incorrect; 'makes me happier' is the correct comparative form. 'At my present' is unnecessary and awkward.

× Chocolate can be used to give someone as a gift or enjoy during celebrations in every Delhi part of our life or activities while doing soccer is.

✓ Chocolate can be given to someone as a gift or enjoyed during celebrations in every part of our life or during activities like playing soccer.

The original sentence has incorrect prepositions and awkward phrasing. 'Used to give someone as a gift' should be 'given to someone as a gift'. 'Enjoy during celebrations' is correct but needs better structure. 'In every Delhi part' is incorrect; 'in every part' suffices. The phrase 'activities while doing soccer is' is ungrammatical and should be rephrased.

× My favorite flavor of chocolate is dark chocolate. I mainly like my fellow which has coconut and has another flavor, but I prefer Dairy Milk more as it is cheap too and whereas raffle is more costly in comparison.

✓ My favorite flavor of chocolate is dark chocolate. I mainly like my flavor which has coconut and another flavor, but I prefer Dairy Milk more as it is cheaper and Raffaello is more costly in comparison.

'My fellow' is incorrect; likely meant 'flavor'. 'Cheap' should be 'cheaper' for comparison. 'Whereas raffle' should be 'and Raffaello'.

× Yes, I think chocolate is good to gift other because it brings joy in one's face and people can get happy by getting chocolates.

✓ Yes, I think chocolate is good to gift others because it brings joy to one's face and people can become happy by receiving chocolates.

'Gift other' should be 'gift others'. 'Joy in one's face' is better expressed as 'joy to one's face'. 'Get happy' is informal; 'become happy' is more appropriate. 'Getting chocolates' is better as 'receiving chocolates'.

× It is not necessary that everybody likes chocolate but for the one who likes chocolate, it is OK to give it as a gift.

✓ It is not necessary that everybody likes chocolate, but for those who like chocolate, it is OK to give it as a gift.

'The one who likes chocolate' should be plural 'those who like chocolate' to match 'everybody' and generalize the statement.