唱歌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is somewhat natural but a bit redundant and unclear in parts. Try to be more concise and clear, avoid awkward phrases like "relieve my stress and environment". Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Limit your answer to about 4-5 sentences.

示例: Yes, I enjoy singing because it helps me relieve stress and improves my mood. Even though I'm not a professional singer, I feel free to sing without worrying about mistakes, which makes me happy.

建议: Your answer provides some relevant information but is a bit confusing and lacks clarity, especially in explaining breathing techniques. Use clearer sentences and linking words to organize your explanation logically. Also, avoid repeating similar ideas unnecessarily.

示例: Yes, I learned how to sing in grade 9 at school. We were taught that proper breathing is important for singing; for instance, when inhaling, the stomach should expand, and when exhaling, it should contract. This technique helps control the voice better.

建议: Your answer is honest and natural but could be more structured. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add supporting details with linking words. Also, avoid negative words like "terrible" and "horrible"; instead, express it more positively or humorously.

示例: I don't have a specific person I want to sing for because I'm not very confident in my singing. However, I enjoy singing alone, especially in the shower or at home, and sometimes I sing with friends at karaoke for fun.

建议: Your answer is relevant and includes examples, but the structure can be improved by using clearer linking words and more precise vocabulary. Also, avoid minor grammar mistakes like "comparing to"; use "compared to" instead.

示例: I believe singing can bring happiness depending on a person's personality. For instance, as an extrovert, I enjoy singing because it brings me joy. However, my introverted sister feels stressed when singing in front of others, so it varies by individual.

× I do like singing sometimes because it is like a way for me to relieve my stress and environment because when you sing, your vocals are open up and it can cheer me up.

✓ I do like singing sometimes because it is like a way for me to relieve my stress and environment because when you sing, your vocals open up and it can cheer me up.

The phrase 'your vocals are open up' incorrectly combines the passive 'are' with the active verb 'open up'. The correct form is 'your vocals open up' to indicate the action happening actively.

× Since I am not a very good singer, I feel like I can do anything wrong with singing and nobody's going to scold me on that and it makes me happy.

✓ Since I am not a very good singer, I feel like I cannot do anything wrong with singing and nobody's going to scold me for that and it makes me happy.

The phrase 'I can do anything wrong' is incorrect because 'can' implies ability, but the intended meaning is inability to do wrong, so 'cannot' is appropriate. Also, 'scold me on that' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'for'.

× Yes, I have definitely learned how to sing. When I was at school back then in grade 9, they taught us that singing is related to our respiration.

✓ Yes, I have definitely learned how to sing. When I was at school back then in grade 9, they taught us that singing was related to our respiration.

The clause 'singing is related' should be in past tense 'was related' to match the past context of 'they taught us'.

× For example, we should breathe correctly and when we breathe in, our stomach should go outside, exhale basically.

✓ For example, we should breathe correctly and when we breathe in, our stomach should go out, basically exhale.

The phrase 'our stomach should go outside' is awkward; 'go out' is the correct expression. Also, 'exhale basically' is misplaced; 'basically exhale' is clearer.

× And when we breathe out, our stomach should inhale. That's the right.

✓ And when we breathe out, our stomach should go in. That's right.

The stomach cannot 'inhale'; the correct description is that the stomach moves 'in' when exhaling. Also, 'That's the right' is incorrect; it should be 'That's right'.

× No one is specific honestly, because I am a terrible singer and I believe that nobody is interested in hearing my horrible voice and for this reason I love to sing in the shower.

✓ No one in particular, honestly, because I am a terrible singer and I believe that nobody is interested in hearing my horrible voice, and for this reason, I love to sing in the shower.

'No one is specific' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'No one in particular'. Also, commas improve clarity in the sentence.

× I'm a shower singer and even at home and nobody is there or even at karaoke with my friends.

✓ I'm a shower singer and even sing at home when nobody is there or even at karaoke with my friends.

The original sentence lacks a verb in the second part. Adding 'sing' clarifies the meaning. Also, 'and even at home and nobody is there' is awkward; rephrasing improves clarity.

× It depends on personality and characteristic of a person.

✓ It depends on the personality and characteristics of a person.

'Personality' and 'characteristic' need the definite article 'the' and 'characteristic' should be plural 'characteristics' to be grammatically correct.

× For example, I'm an extrovert so I love singing and it allows me to bring enjoyment and delight.

✓ For example, I'm an extrovert, so I love singing and it allows me to bring enjoyment and delight to others.

Adding 'to others' clarifies the object of 'bring enjoyment and delight'. Also, a comma after 'extrovert' improves sentence flow.

× But comparing to my sister who is an introvert, it brings her stress as she is shy in front of people.

✓ But compared to my sister who is an introvert, it brings her stress as she is shy in front of people.

The phrase 'comparing to' is incorrect; the correct form is 'compared to' when making comparisons.